Jun
22
2008

EVIL BIRDS ATTACK HUMANS

The devil incarnate: Of course it sings in the dead of night--that's when it feasts on HUMAN SOULS!
The devil incarnate: Of course it sings in the dead of night--that's when it feasts on HUMAN SOULS!Courtesy Alternate:Words

I grew up in Chicago, and I must concur with this article – red-winged blackbirds are simply evil. Every year, the dive-bombing demons attack innocent passersby without warning, without provocation. Their lily-livered apologists, hiding behind such auspicious titles as "conservation ornithologist," try to explain away this behavior as "natural," "instinctive," "protecting their nesting territory." But one look into the coal-black eyes of these minions of Lucifer and you know that's poppycock. These birds have one instinct and one instinct only -- to devour the souls of the living, to rend asunder the very moral fabric of our civilization. Their very name conjures up the essence of iniquity, from the demonic colors to the unnatural oxymoronic name. The only way to get across Grant Park is with a tennis racket to swat the vile creatures away. They should not be conserved; they should be eradicated, and sent back to the pernicious depths from which they came. The fewer of these devil birds polluting our world, the better.

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Your Comments, Thoughts, Questions, Ideas

ekfenton's picture
ekfenton says:

Have you seen this TEDTalk on crows?

Something to consider

posted on Thu, 07/10/2008 - 9:58pm
my name is mary crowe's picture
my name is mary crowe says:

i fully agree with this article. i believe that birds have a secret society. they are planning an attack on the human race. email me for more information.

posted on Mon, 03/16/2009 - 1:04pm
Bird of Paradise's picture
Bird of Paradise says:

Birds are not evil its just they dont care for liberals

posted on Tue, 01/19/2010 - 2:01am
JGordon's picture
JGordon says:

Are you talking about Gene?

Besides: not true.

Birds love everybody.

posted on Tue, 01/19/2010 - 4:13am
Gene's picture
Gene says:

LOL!

posted on Sun, 01/24/2010 - 12:58pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

birds aren't evil

posted on Sun, 01/24/2010 - 2:10pm

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