Jun
25
2007

Game addiction: Can playing video games hook you?

Gaming trouble?: Can video games become addictive like alcohol or drugs? It's a question doctors and psychiatrists are looking into now as they're seeing more cases of over use of video gaming having a negative impact in some patient's lives. (Photo by cicmai09)
Gaming trouble?: Can video games become addictive like alcohol or drugs? It's a question doctors and psychiatrists are looking into now as they're seeing more cases of over use of video gaming having a negative impact in some patient's lives. (Photo by cicmai09)
I’m dating myself here, but I have to admit it, I don’t get video games.

The kids of my friends and even some of the younger people I work with rave about the latest games and the fun they have with them, but it blows right by me. I can’t see why people camp out overnight to get the latest playing systems or the hottest new games.

Now, people in the medial/psychiatric fields are taking a harder look at video games. Can excessive playing be an addiction?

Meeting over the weekend, the American Medical Association passed on making a judgment call on the situation. It’s asking the American Psychiatric Association to study the issue over the next several years to see where video gaming fits on the addiction horizon.

To tell you the truth, I haven’t got any opinion on this. I guess you could say this is a drink I’ve never drunk, a drug I’ve never tried. But some of the information I’ve read makes me see that video gaming can be a serious problem for some people.

Some counselors report increased amounts of patients coming to them with tales of excessive video gaming at the expense of other daily life activities: a mother playing games for hours ignores her baby’s cry, a university student flunking out because of too much gaming, a spouse’s vast game-playing time leading to divorce.

With some addictions, the medicine and science are obvious. Consuming alcohol or drugs alters the body’s chemistry with a short-term good feeling, but a long-term addiction. Other currently accepted addictions like gambling or sexual activity have been shown produce a chemical reaction inside the “users” body that can work like ingested chemicals.

So what about video gaming? As one person asked out in an article I saw on the issue, is compulsive playing of the games addictive to someone or is that simply a sign of another problem – boredom, depression, loneliness – that has a deeper root in the person.

The verdict reached by the medical and psychiatric groups will have a big bearing. If video gaming is ruled to be an addiction like alcoholism, drug use or gambling, insurance companies could be made liable to cover treatment programs for those diagnosed with the addiction. Work places would be made to make provisions to get people dealing with the addiction help.

So what do you think? Could excessive gaming be an addiction? Is it something less than that? Is it no big deal? Share your thoughts with other readers hear at Science Buzz.

Your rating: None Average: 4.1 (10 votes)

Your Comments, Thoughts, Questions, Ideas

Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I think that are addictive. I'm a nanny and I see fights break out over games all the time, or not wanting to stop for dinner, pure rage over missing a level. It's bad!!!

posted on Fri, 06/29/2007 - 3:30pm
Cameron Thrasher's picture
Cameron Thrasher says:

What most people seem to think is that people who play video games are being antisocial. Actually, it's the exact opposite. Many gamers play over the internet with other real gamers. They're interacting and talking with other people while enjoying the game. What I don't understand is why no one is concerned over television. When you watch television, your mind isn't thinking or processing anything. With video games, your normally figuring out ways to solve puzzles, problems, etc. So while everyone's worrying about video game addiction, I'll worry over the real problem. Television addiction.

posted on Sat, 11/24/2007 - 7:46pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

In some cases kids might not be antisocial. My son has had social phobia all of his life. Video game playing has now ruined his mental health. He has isolated himself and is now suffering mental illness, lack of sleep and psychosis due to constant game playing as a way of living his life. I will tell you that video game playing can consume someone and makes a person downright nonproductive. Those who feel sitting in front of the TV and playing games with most of their time is not part of God's plan for them, NONPRODUCTIVE...... Yes, people should worry about video game addiction. Your article just justifies that it is ok for one to be addicted. It is NOT.

posted on Wed, 01/09/2008 - 3:58am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

if he's had social phobia all his life then wouldn't you assume it's not the game that is causing his being "NONPRODUCTIVE".
I understand that you might need something to blame, but the game playing is obviously a byproduct not the cause.

posted on Tue, 05/27/2008 - 9:34pm
orangesurfblue's picture
orangesurfblue says:

amen to that. video games are a fun outlet for me.
if he has had socialphobia all his life it doesnt mean its the games.

posted on Mon, 08/10/2009 - 10:40am
George's picture
George says:

So.. you let your son, with a social phobia, get sucked into games.. Did he buy them himself? Oh wait no he can't go in public cause of the phobia. GG with LETTING become "Addicted" or "lack-of-self-control-because-mom-didn't-teach-me-to-do-chores"

posted on Fri, 04/24/2009 - 12:31pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

As an aspie I love video games. Before I ever played video games I was very anti-social and felt anxiety and depression due to forced social situations in life. Video games now provide an escape and actually helped with my anxiety and depression. I know it is not a "normal" thing to do for most peoples viewpoint, but isnt life about happiness? For me ridding as much anxiety and depression in my life has brought me greater happiness

posted on Sat, 11/05/2011 - 10:27pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I agree with your thoughts of them not being antisocial. Even though it is the opposite and they are playing with other gamers, I believe it is still a very valid addiction that ruins lives. I live with a gamer who LOVES to play and can't go a day without as a matter of fact he plays pretty much non stop. I like the fact that he is able to spend time with his friends and not be getting into trouble. The true problem comes in when he becomes so involved in his game that he doesn't realize what is going on around him. What his children are doing, getting into, trying to talk to him, fighting.... Relationships with your other half suffer as well. All in all I guess what I'm trying to say is that video game addiction is an addiction just like television addiction, and can be a real problem as well.

posted on Sun, 08/09/2009 - 10:19pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I think first off that not only are they addictive, but that they can take over every aspect of your life.
I have a 19 year old son who refuses to go to school, get a job, get a drivers license, date , or any other normal social activity. Interacting with people??? Give me a break. Yeah he chats with people on world of warcraft, but these people arent "real" friends. He fails to realize this part. These people wont help you move, help you when your sick, or help you pay your rent. They are other gamers..period.
I hate video games...especially world of warcraft. It has taken over and destroyed my sons life.

posted on Mon, 12/28/2009 - 12:54pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I think the video games in question are PS3, Xbox etc etc...and its not "puzzle solving"...you are correct that they are playing with other gamers that are real people...the problem is that the gamer is ignoring their families and responsibilities within their own homes. The difference between TV and Gaming is that you dont watch TV for hours and hours without stopping. You have a few fav shows, you watch them and then you turn the TV off...even if you wanted to keep the TV on, eventually the only thing on TV is infomercials! Gaming is totally different! you can play as long as yopu can keep your eyes open. There is always another level or item to unlock...scores to beat or some other guy who was "talking sh*t" It has replaced real life and alot of spouses and families are sick of it...but so far no one has a solution except to leave the gamer altogether

posted on Sun, 04/08/2012 - 7:24pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THAT XBOX 360 IS RUINING MY FAMILY!!
WHEN I WAS YOUNGER WE PLAYED NICE VIDEO GAMES LIKE MARIO & LUIGI!
MY HUSBAND AND 3 BOYS ARE TOTALLY OBSESSED WITH THIS STUFF. MY MARRIAGE IS
FALLING APART,AND HE SAYS HE WILL NEVER STOP PLAYING. IT DISGUST ME HOW THEY ACT IF I HAVE TO CALL THEM TO DINNER,OR IF I JUST WANT TO ASK A QUESTION. SOME MEAN WORDS AND YELLING ALWAYS OCCUR!! I JUST KNOW THAT I NEED A WAY FOR MY BOYS TO STOP PLAYING??

posted on Sat, 12/15/2007 - 10:40pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

stop shouting.

posted on Sun, 12/16/2007 - 2:40pm
LONELY DUE TO A LOSER XBOX PLAYER's picture
LONELY DUE TO A LOSER XBOX PLAYER says:

I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY WIFE OUT THERE WITH A RIDICULOUS GROWN MAN PLAYING XBOX 24/7!! HE NO LONGER HAS ANY RELATIONSHIP WITH ME OR THE KIDS! WHAT AM I TO DO SERIOUSLY??? I AM SO DEPRESSED ABOUT IT!! ;(

posted on Fri, 03/07/2008 - 1:41am
lonely fiance's picture
lonely fiance says:

I feel the exact same way as a lot of people and for the longest time i though i was alone...my fiance plays World of Warcraft and it completely consumes his life...He has no time for me anymore...His friend is over at least twice a week playing it until all hours of the night and when he's not over my fiance is finally coming to bed just as im getting up to go to work...I go to bed alone almost every night and to tell the truth...I don't know if its a good idea to get married to him...its never going to change...he refuses to accept the fact that he's addicted and will not cut down...I don't know what to do

posted on Mon, 03/17/2008 - 4:14pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Dont marry, I thought things would change and now I face the challenges of too much video games and his denial. Not sure what I will do. I will get divorced if this stays this way by summer. Its easier to be single than living with a zombie pc junkie.

posted on Mon, 04/28/2008 - 6:37am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

DO NOT marry him! I got married last year to my fiance who ignored me constantly (through video game playing) while we were dating. I thought that magically he would grow up & be a man when we got married. Unfortunately, men only become worse. They get comfortable and know that you're stuck with them after you're married. They don't make the effort to win your attention and instead turn to online games like Call of Duty 4 to keep their minds busy. Find a guy instead who has hobbies that involve things that YOU can do with him while you're married such as biking, jogging, traveling.

posted on Thu, 06/12/2008 - 9:54pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

so true im lone so much that i think that i want a divorce so bad cause he never wants too do anything at all or with the kids

posted on Tue, 05/17/2011 - 5:09pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

DONT marry him. You get what you settle for so settle for a man who wants to spend his time in the real world, not a pretend world.

posted on Tue, 05/27/2008 - 4:32pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Oh i hear you loud and clear -- my husband is addicted to Lord of the Rings -- insane -- i don't get it and am thinking of divorcing because of it.

posted on Wed, 06/25/2008 - 11:11am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I know what you mean. My relationship with my fiance ended because of his obsession with playing world of warcraft. When we first started dating he would make time for me without video games. Then as time went on he would play the whole day and night when I was there with him. He started going to his friends house and play games all night while I felt abandoned. He also started to talk to me very bad. After 2 years I had to decide if I wanted to commit myself to someone who cares for the game more than me and me be the one to take care of things in the house someday and I decided that I couldnt continue the relationship anymore. He also told me that he would choose the game over me if it came down to it. It was hard for me at first after I broke up with him but I am getting better as each day goes on and when I meet someone else I am going to ask them if they play video games.

posted on Sat, 11/29/2008 - 9:33pm
Bethany's picture
Bethany says:

umm my husband of a year and 4 months is always playing this stupid COD ugh the letters even make me sick....I try to ask him something and it is like im not there then when i tell him if it stays like this im out then he will stop playing for like a week then when things get better he slowly goes back to playing EVERY FREAKIN Night!!! WTF they mine as well go to the real war!!! ugh i seriously cannot take it what do i do??

posted on Sun, 03/28/2010 - 11:29pm
Krissy's picture
Krissy says:

I have the same problem as you. I have been married now for seven years. We also have a young child who needs both mommy and daddy but mommy is the one who does everything. I feel like I'm raising my children alone. I have no life and that includes no sex life either. If I bring any of this up to him then he says he is sick of me nagging. Quite honestly I'm sick of nagging too. We shouldn't have to beg for our husbands attention or beg for sex or beg for help with the kids. The only advice I can give is focus on yourself and dont let him take you down with him. No man is worth that. I love my husband but I also want to be with someone who values me and my kids, not some make believe video game. Good luck with your man

posted on Fri, 09/24/2010 - 8:44am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

yes, don't marry that will be a biggest mistake of your life.. I'm a victim. I'm an immigrant and my husband is addicted to WOW. and he plays and plays, he refuse to stop playing coz he dont think he is addicted. he had love marriage and i can't divorce him .. than i have no place to go also for social reason..i dont know what to do, sometimes i feel like i should suicide to get addicted to something else.. life is horrible..

posted on Thu, 02/19/2009 - 7:39am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

You're correct, it's never going to change. If your fiance is playing video games virtually 24 X 7 now, just wait until you're married to him. I lost a step son to video game addiction. 19-year old who dropped out of college, quit his job, ran up debt, lost his GF, car, etc. over his addiction to WOW. I tried virtually everything to get him to curb his playing time, but was unsuccessful. He eventually moved to his father's house to escape the pressure his mother and I was putting on him. Very sad state of affairs. My advice is find a man who cares more about you than his video games. BTW, I am a husband and step-father. Good luck.

posted on Tue, 12/01/2009 - 4:13pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I'm unhappily married to a compulsive gamer myself. I strongly recommend you DO NOT marry him; he will NOT change. He won't even miss you when you are gone. You are better off without him. Find someone who loves YOU, not some stupid game.

posted on Fri, 09/02/2011 - 8:07pm
mc86_cazares@yahoo.com's picture
mc86_cazares@yahoo.com says:

What are you to do? Seek Christ and cry out to him about this issue and he will hear. Im an ex addict to video games and its more serious than you think it is. If u want i can tell u more about it..email me.
Bye

posted on Tue, 05/27/2008 - 5:04pm
Maria's picture
Maria says:

Hi.

It was really bad yesterday. My daughter and her boyfriend was at the house. And we wanting to watch the blind side with Sandra bullock. And my fiancée stay in the other room playing madden 10. I was so embarrass. They keep on saying. Boy he is really addictive. I changing my mind on getting married to him.

posted on Sat, 03/27/2010 - 8:19pm
Mazie's picture
Mazie says:

I completely understand and I too also thought that I was the only one with this problem...Its sad that a 28 year old man would rather sit and play video games than spend time with his wife and kids...getting him to do anything with the kids is like try to drive a car with no engine...and trust me he doens't have any issues about being around people or anything like that he's one of the loudest and talkative men I've ever met...it just kills me that he takes us for granted and thinks we're going to continue to put up with it...I have to work early mornings...I'm up usually around 4am and he stays up all hours of the night playing games and neglects to do anything with or for the kids and its getting out of hand...we've talked about it and still nothing...I should have said nothing because thats what he heard...nothing...all I know is that I am tired of picking up after him and doing all the things he needs done while he gets to sit there playing games...I don't need another child I need a man who wants to be with me and my kids and not those stupid games...I feel you girls...really I do.

posted on Fri, 02/13/2009 - 1:47am
Maryn's picture
Maryn says:

I am totally going thru the same things like you. I have two sons and the youngest one is Autistic and my husband stills does not pay any attention to him. He is addicted to that stupid game World of the Warcraft and has been playing it ever since the game came out. We argue all the time about him not spending any time with me or the kids. I worked in the evenings starting from 3:30 pm to 12 midnight. Doing the time that I am at work he does not play with the kids at all. I feel like divorcing him all the time. I always threatened to leave him and we get in this terrible argument. I just don't want the boys to grow up without their father. But it is like he is a third child to me. I am so depressed like the rest of you. It seems like you and me have alot in common right now.

posted on Fri, 04/24/2009 - 3:01am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Well if you're so depressed about your spouse taking on video games instead of talking to you maybe it is because you do not provide the same comfort or level of relaxation as a video game. If you are married to this person and you love him, and if video games are a big part of his life, maybe you need to realize that you should also show some interest.

I am sure that he is not thrilled to go shopping with you all weekend long or watch some soap opera, however he probably does it because this is what you like. Therefore instead of nag and obviously show your disdain toward the activity that brings him happiness and calms him down after a day's work, maybe you need to make this a part of your life too.

What I am saying is work on the relationship instead of putting a strain on it by stigmatizing the activities that bring your partner happiness.

After all he is in the other room playing a game, not in a bar, looking for other forms of release. Think about it and make the best of it. After all he probably played games when you initially started going out with him and when you got married. Ask yourself, what part of your behavior prevented his playing of games to be a problem in your relationship.

Cheers!

posted on Tue, 01/25/2011 - 11:26pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Thats what my husband says when I try talking to him about his game playing. It makes me feel terrible. I then feel like the bad person and forgive him. Then the depression and angry feelings I have over his game playing continue due to the lack of time he spends with our kids and I.

I feel like a failure and become more insecure about myself. Almost like he is cheating on me. As far as I am concerned he might as well be at a bar cheating on me because we have no life together. Its him and the game.

I want to be his relief from life stressors when he comes home. More importantly, I dont want to make him stop doing something he likes to do. I wouldnt want someone telling me I couldnt do things I enjoy. This is not just enjoyment for him. That would be like telling a gambling addict its ok to gamble and spend our life savings. The same is for gamers. I cant tell him its ok to ignore his family and neglect the fact that he is a husband and father with responsiblities. The fact is this is an addiction. Its not just a release from stressors. It is a way for people to escape the reality of life because they hate their current life.

I have just come to the conclusion that he is unhappy with me and there is nothing I can do about it. I have tried to be understanding and even play the game with him but nothing has helped. Its like I married to a mindless, careless, child like being.

posted on Thu, 02/03/2011 - 1:34am
B's picture
B says:

Since discovering this site I can't believe the posts are ALL ME!!! I tried to play, but he tied up my email account so I couldn't register (why???) He stopped wearing clothes four-five years ago, and wears dressing gowns around the house with a long beard and hair. Naturally he's become morbidly obese, and looks atrocious. Thing is I'M apparently old and ugly (we're both 39); he hasn't left the house for years, and if I try to tell him something he either tells me to shut up of that he doesn't care. The house is in his mother's name, so I would have to move out, and he says I'd get nothing (been married for 11 1/2 years, living together five years before that). I started drinking a bottle of wine every night a few years ago - more on weekends - and I guess that's a loneliness thing, and I hate myself for it: he hates alcohol, and goes on an on about it so I hide my bottles (why he plays and smokes all day). He says I'm an alcoholic, and truly makes me feel like the screwed up one, although people say I'm vibrant and healthy so I'm not quite that bad! Because I'm an "alcoholic" and have let the house become really messy and stopped trying to cook years ago it's my fault he's an addicted gamer, my fault he's depressed, my fault we have no money (he lost MILLIONS on the stock market) and my fault he's fat and unhealthy. I guess a more nurturing wife might have been better - he gets upset that I always want to work and study out of the house so I can mix with real, live people.

posted on Tue, 06/07/2011 - 10:36pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

This is like telling the spouse of an alcoholic to take up drinking! Ridiculous! You do NOT get it.

posted on Fri, 09/02/2011 - 8:12pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

\I totally relate to you, they are trying to cover up some deeper problem in their,,,,,,,,,,,,as for me, i wont be a part of that part of my husbands life.....................he has a problem , indeed.

posted on Tue, 04/29/2008 - 12:39am
Cindy's picture
Cindy says:

I'm getting the same treatment from my husband w/ his game playing. Any free time he has he's playing Halo3 or Magic Online. It never ends. I'm so sick of it. I just hate the person he becomes when he plays. He plays so much I feel like a single parent and I feel frustrated and alone. Just thinking about it put me to tears. He doesn't believe his game playing is problem. Our kids are seeing us fight over a stupid game. I can't reason w/ him. If he keeps this up, I know sooner or later I'm going to give up and I'm not going to ask him to stop playing b/c at that point I wouldn't care anymore. I hope it doesn't come down to that.

You can't control your husband but you do have a strong say on your sons. If they don't behave appropriately when they play then they shouldn't play. If they're getting out of hand minimize the game time. Try getting them interested in a sport.

posted on Sat, 05/17/2008 - 12:08am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I know exactly what you are talking about my husband is playing xbox right now. we ate breakfast without him this morning and for dinner he showed up half way through and I don't know what to do about it anymore.

posted on Sun, 10/26/2008 - 11:34pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I WAS IN A REALTIONSHIP THAT NOW HAS ENDED DUE TO WOW (WORLD OF WARCRAFT) My boyfriend would not go to work, find work and getting him to help around the house even to mow was like pulling teeth...b/c of wow. All Ray cared about was Gainni, bubbleelf,anybody and a bunch of other toons....leveling them became his life. I was 2nd and real life was 2nd to him. He became hateful, rude, loud screaming at me all the time b/c he did not like to be interpetted or asked questions esp. about his vent chat rooms. I had tried to get a toon also and play with him but all he did was yell and it was clear he did not want me playing...he had something to hide. He had been cypersexing with girl gamers I had suspected but was not allowed to have his password but he had mine? and I didnt have vent either...so today I told him I couldnt be ignored for that game anymore or talked to like a dog anymore while I wa paying for the internet and everything so he went to his dads and he didnt even care...he chose the game over me basically but all I wanted to know was what HIS password was, How unfair was it just to have mine...I may never know what he was hideing in his vent but as far as I'm concerned, he cheated on me.

posted on Tue, 11/04/2008 - 12:34pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

My relationship ended after 2 years because of my ex-fiances addiction to world of warcraft. He started playing the whole day and night when I would visit him or when he would visit me. What made me sick was he would treat the characters on the game better than me and that really made me sick to my stomach. I used to live with him and I had to go back home with my parents because his addiction was that bad. He lost a good job because of his addiction and he started to be dishonest about things in our relationship. He would make me cry by saying mean things to me and he told me that wow is his other girlfriend. I viewed wow being his mistress because he spent more time on that game than with me. When we first started dating we would talk everyday for hours and he didnt play games and then later he only wanted to talk to me on skype so he could play his game. He couldnt just stop playing to talk to me. I didnt see us having a good future and I want things someday so I broke up with him and I couldnt trust him anymore.

posted on Sat, 11/29/2008 - 9:59pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Oooh Girl I feel ya! I've been to marriage counseling over this. My kids are still young but I'm making it a point now to tell my husband video games are not going to be a part of our kids lives.

posted on Sun, 05/10/2009 - 5:49pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I agree with you. My husband and I have been married for 7 years and together have a 5 year old little girl. He is a computer gamer and I feel is addicted. We dont have anything in common anymore because everything is gaming. That is the only thing that makes him happy. When he isn't gaming he is moody and doesn't do much with us, we have no sex life either. He ignores our little girl and my marriage is on the rocks. I have told him if things don't change that I fear the worst..A Divorce. His comment back to me was " do whatever you have to do". I dont want a divorce but I cant keep living like this either. I wish I had answers for the both of us. You're not alone. I pray for all women who are going through what we are. Good luck

posted on Mon, 05/03/2010 - 9:33am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

The video games are not the problem, its how much time you are allowing them to play those games. Have them go out side or something, if they start to argue just threaten them by telling them they will be grounded or they will not be able to play video games for 3 months.

posted on Thu, 02/07/2008 - 12:45pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Girlfriend, you need to get this fixed fast!!!Your daughter and you yourself deserve the best from your husband. You need to talk to him and tell him what's wrong and what you two can both do to mend this relationship. Don't make yourself part of the ever increasing divorce rate statistic.

GGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEETTT SOME!
love,
the one who cares.

posted on Mon, 05/03/2010 - 1:59pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I agree that they r harmful.I don't play them a lot but i have friends who do

posted on Tue, 04/08/2008 - 3:28pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

i also use to nanny for a someone who was obsessed with video games, they mad him very angry andhe would act out what they did, it turned into a huge mess a lot of times i think they should be monitored especially with younger kids, just because their parents wont let them play doesnt mean one of thier friends parents wont allow it, if they want to play badly enough they will probably find a way

posted on Thu, 02/19/2009 - 10:47am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Yes! My boyfriend will attack me if i say something to him while hes playing and I "make" him die in the game. why right now hes been on his xbox 8 hours straight.its a routine now. Play all night fall asleep at 6:30-7:00 am wake up around 3:00 pm eat go right back to gaming repeat.

posted on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 7:49am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Me and my boyfriend have been together for over a year and it nearly valentines day and guess what he wants to do for valentines day? play on the flipping XBOX!!! How romantic?! it wont be long before i will chuck the bloody thing out of the window!!

posted on Tue, 02/07/2012 - 8:52am
aarun wise's picture
aarun wise says:

Video games are not additcive I play all the time and all I think it is would be is a fun thing to do when i'm bored. I like to play them but i don't feel the need to, like i'd die with out them! Playing them is fun but I have other fun things to do like play with my friends, or practice my fencing stratagies.

-aaron wise =)

posted on Fri, 07/06/2007 - 12:21pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

are you married or have a family if so would you choose the ggames over your family.

posted on Sat, 12/29/2007 - 12:48am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Actually they are addicting, you just said I PLAY ALL THE TIME. How unproductive and sad......

posted on Wed, 01/09/2008 - 4:04am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I agree. I play video games occasionally, but usually I have other things to tend to, like my fiance, my job, my art, my housework, my other job... I wish I had more time to play, but in all honesty I value my sleep more than a game, so that's not going anywhere!
I think that video games can be addicting, but it's the job of the parent to enforce time limits, and rules for playing. Any child under 18 cannot be in charge of the parent. As long as they are living in your house, a game can be taken away or hidden while more productive activities such as sports, hobbies or RL (real life) friends are pursued.
I make video games, but if someone gets addicted to a game I make, then I have no blame. Plenty of people drink alcohol without becoming alcoholics, gamble without becoming addicts, or play video games without letting it take over their lives. Anyone who lets something material take over their lives like that is irresponsible. If I was addicted, I would throw my games away, because I want the time to do so many other things, instead of obsessing over one.

posted on Tue, 07/07/2009 - 10:10pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

For some it is an addiction like an alcoholic... for others it can be like a social drinker who only has a few every once in awhile... how lucky for you if you're not an addict.

posted on Sun, 08/09/2009 - 10:34pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Video games have the potential to be addictive and destructive. My husband plays a MMPORPG every waking minute that he is home and isn't in the washroom. If he isn't playing it, he is reading about it. No exaggeration. He plays all night and sleeps all day, or gets up for work, but then goes to bed as soon as he gets home and wakes up when our 2-year-old son is in bed and keeps playing. He ignores our son (who idolizes "daddy" and is constantly asking for him) and myself and gets extremey irate if I interrupt him or ask him to do anything. Of course he doesn't think there is anything wrong. I am now making plans to divorce him.

posted on Thu, 07/19/2007 - 1:40pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I want to divorce my husband too, for his video game addiction. The funny thing is he doesn't realize he has one, so it must REALLY be an addiction. But let me tell you, it's made him lose his motivation to do anything. He can't even sleep with me! We can't even have a normal conversation. He's too busy playing that while i'm on the phone with him he'll just say yes without hearing a word I said. He plays at every and any chance he gets. I've been supporting him for the past 4 years. He became addicted about 4 years ago when he stopped working. He was the best man in the whole world before his addiction began. He's working again now (only after I worked 2 full-time jobs while he had no job to pay our bills) but making 1/2 what I make and has sucked me dry penny for penny to compensate what he cannot pay for. I'm sick of it. He even has the nerve to tell me I nag him too much and to tell me I don't appreciate what he does for me and our family. How can I appreciate seeing the back of his head all day long and waiting around for him to finish his "game" before we can go anywhere or do anything. He's making me depressed and unmotivated just arguing and worrying about everything. He thanks me for everything I do by sitting in front of his tv playing video games ignoring me every single day we're at home together. I leave in the morning to a messy house on HIS days off and come home to the same mess because he was just sitting in front of the TV all day playing. Staying up late bringing our kids to school late becuase he stayed up too late playing the night before. I'm at a stand still. I've been going out to get my mind of things and to see if he'll even notice that i'm gone, but he doesn't. He sees it as more time to play. Hooray for him. How can I get him help or is divorce my only answer? I don't want to leave or divorce the man I love but if every argument we have is about his stupid video game then I think there is something wrong. I've told him to his face how I've felt I've even broken a couple of his games and game consoles through the years, I've even stupidly attempted suicide a few times because he gives me no attention and no love but nothing has worked. He's still playing. Am I the only person going through this? Please help

posted on Sat, 09/29/2007 - 7:59pm
~D's picture
~D says:

Don't commit suicide, and leave your child alone with that loser... Your husband isn't worth it! You've been supporting him for 4 years, while he's been gaming? LEAVE HIM!! That is nuts, and you---and your son---deserve better. Get some confidence; realize you don'y *need* the attention of 'another kid,' and get out, before you completely lose your dignity!

posted on Mon, 10/15/2007 - 2:04pm
Tricia's picture
Tricia says:

I have no advice for you, however, I know exactly what you are going through. Mu husband is addicted to the computer game called World of Warcraft. It hasn't gotten to the extreme of him quitting his job to play, however, every second he is not at work he is on the game. We never do anything together because there is always some important reason he has to play that peticular night. He doesn't understand why it bothers me so much and is threatening divorce because he says I nag him too much. He never cleans the house, cooks dinner, etc.... and he's gone from being a wonderful father to our three year to a mediocre one. It seems like if he's not playing the game then he's thinking about it. He would rather have the game in his life than me. And the worst part is, he still thinks that he is doing everything he should and being a good enough parent. I don't want to lose him, however, I don't think I can ever get him to stop playing and pay attention to me.
I noticed that you posted your message in September. Has anything changed since then?

posted on Thu, 11/22/2007 - 5:24pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Oh my god, I'm in the SAME exact boat as you. It's awful. I feel so tormented and depressed. My husband used to be this great guy (still is a great guy), but all of his focus is on his VIRTUAL family. God, I feel so alone, even though I have two teenagers. They feel badly about it too.
I wish I had a solution other than divorce. I'm going to try and get him into some counseling.
Good luck. If you'd like to talk, I"d be interested. I need someone to talk to about this. It's so embarrassing.

posted on Sun, 11/25/2007 - 10:14pm
Vicki3979's picture
Vicki3979 says:

Yes, Gaming is addicting. I lovingly refer to my nemisis as "BF2 Crack". I was tired of eating dinner alone & going to bed alone. After months of rejection, I filed for Divorce & moved out. Unfortunately, nothing has changed and, in fact, he is gaming even more. The "final straw" came when I asked for a compromise; Wednesdays set aside for us/as a date night. He declined, stating I was becoming "too controlling." That was my clue. On our 3 year Anniversary (together 8 yrs, married 3 yrs), I was filling out Divorce papers while he spent 13 hours online with Battlefield 2. I left, rented a Condo. Fast forward three months, when apparently he realized the "dishes were stacking up", he called asking to reconcile, avowing to "try harder", stay off the game, and make time for "us." Well, that lasted all of about, ohhh, 2 months. Recently, as I sat in my rented Condo, on Xmas Eve, he had logged 11 hours gaming that day (I know where to find his Stats online). I feel bad for his kids (and my dogs I had to leave behind), the house is falling apart, and my yard has gone to crap. He is a good man, aside from the fact he has now become a shell and emotionally void. Personally, I feel that I deserve more than a one-word grunt, or 2 hours a week of interaction (and that seemed to be forced, as if it's a "chore" for him to interact with a real human). As far as counseling goes ... he refused, and indicated I should fix my own "issues" before I worry about his. So, in my opinion, there is no "magic bullet" ... as with any addiction, you cannot force someone to change if they are not ready or willing. I finally had to take care of me, instead of trying to "fix" him. He'll figure it out in his own way, in his own time, but I believe it will be "too late" and all those he has alienated will have moved on with "real" life. Best of Luck to you all (I know it's difficult! You are not "needy" or "controlling", you are just a Human that needs a partner to experience life with!) ~ Peace ~

posted on Fri, 12/28/2007 - 11:43am
ELIZABETH's picture
ELIZABETH says:

As I red your comment it brought tears to my eyes actually I'm crying at this moment. I can't believe how many women are going through this. I also about to leave why are men this way. I have 3 small children and I am also afraid that I'll have to pack up and leave . Hang in there and may god be with you always.

posted on Sat, 12/29/2007 - 1:13am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Hi Vicki. EVERYTHING you stated in your post is 100% correct. BTW, I lost a step son to video game addiction. He moved out of state to live with his biological father, because his mother and I placed controls on the time he spent playing video games. I'm doing a research paper for college, and with your permission, I'd like to use your post in my paper.

posted on Tue, 12/01/2009 - 4:34pm
ELIZABETH's picture
ELIZABETH says:

Embarrassing is exactly right. I am beginning to think us women need to get rid opf all thiese BS game consoles and computers or all of our lives will be ruin. I've been in counceling 3 times it helps for a little bit but thats it. Hopefully you'll have better luck then I do. I am also going to try to get my husband back in counceling. Good Luck... may god bless you always

posted on Sat, 12/29/2007 - 1:06am
Mandi's picture
Mandi says:

I to have the same problem with my husband and the same game ! He was down to 3 night a week but now its 7 and I never see or spend time with him . It not only affects me but it is pulling a toll on my six year old because she sees me as the parent only . I'm sorry your going through the same thing I try talking to my husband but he never listens its like talking to a brick wall , to where i'm about to just leave him if it comes down to the point . And he doesn't clean or help with my kids homework . We both work a 40hr job but in all reality i'm working over a 60+ job doing all the extra stuff at home with no help .. I hope things start working out good for you !

posted on Tue, 12/04/2007 - 10:00am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Hi there,

My husband is a WOW addict also. He does have a good job but his performance in sales seems to be going down. He plays as soon as he gets home from work until he goes to bed usually around 2am. On the weekends he plays all day for hours on end. He started playing in Nov. 2006 and hasn't progressively worse. This is the only topic we ever argue about. I'm pregnant with our first child and am afraid I'll end up feeling like an only parent. Your story about having three and no help scares me! This am I told him I was in the mood for love and he told me he had just started a "new mission" I'd have to wait for about 30 minutes. So much for spontaneity. Two weekends ago I told him lunch would be ready in 20 minutes he said okay ...called him up and waited for 30 min. before I finally ate by myself and left the house. I have not spoken to him all day today...I left as soon as he told me he wanted me to wait for him to finish his mission. Have you made any progress? Ideas?

Thanks for sharing,

D

posted on Sat, 01/12/2008 - 6:08pm
Mandi's picture
Mandi says:

I am so glad i'm not the only one in the same boat . I've been married for seven years and up until two years ago everything was fine in my married . Then my husband bought world of warcraft and since then it has taken a toll on our married and he doesn't even realize it . By the time I get off work he is already playing and play until I go to bed that there is already over 4 to 5 hours of straight game play .. There is no activity in his life after work on weekends we have off together he'd rather play video games and drink beer . Its rather sad because he's just waisting his lofe away and not realizing hes pulling me away at the sametime . We also have a six year old girl and i'm sure it affects her as will because she sees me as the parental authority but her dad as the child . Its pathetic ! We've had numerous of fights and then he'll do good for a week and crash like its and addictive drug . Then its back to the same old stuff everytime I don't know how much more I can take until I just leave . I might as will I live pretty much single most of the days now anyways . Even though hes 7 feet away playing a game half the time he would ratherspend all that time playing the game online talking to other people than spending time with his family . Anyways I don't know what to do anymore !~

posted on Tue, 12/04/2007 - 9:52am
Dena's picture
Dena says:

I agree with you completely. Reading about your husband makes me wonder if we have the same one! I give the same tests and get the same results. I am at my end with him too. He says that he would get custody of our son because he has a job and I don't. I'm afraid he's right and I don't want my son to be neglected because of his addiction. I don't know what to do. Video games are the worst thing ever created. They need to make a website for gamers-anonymous....or something. It's nuts.

posted on Sat, 12/08/2007 - 8:22pm
ELIZABETH's picture
ELIZABETH says:

I am also feeling the same way I understand completely how you feel. I really don't think attempting suicide is the best solution if it's that bad. Sweetie you are better to divorce. I am also thinking of divorce because my husband is the same way. I ask him how to get attention from him he tells me I'D HAVE TO WALK AROUND NUDE. Yeah Right he still wouldn't noticed. I don't think you're life is worth that. If he is still playing games obviously you need to leave. MAY GOD BE WITH YOU AND BLESS YOU ALWAYS.

posted on Sat, 12/29/2007 - 12:59am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

reading your comments almost made me cry. Your life sounds like a carbon copy of mine except that my husband does have a full time job. He has worked the graveyard shift for the past year and recently switched to 3pm-11pm. I thought things might get better because before he would sleep most of the day and play his STUPID **** video all evening and ignore me and the kids. Now he comes home from work and plays all night then sleeps all day til time to go to work. He never sees the kids or spends time with me...we haven't slept together in months!!! We have split up over this but things never change for any length of time. I'm also at my wit's end. I've tried EVERYTHING! Just wanted to let you know you're not alone. If you ever want to talk, feel free to email me. Sometimes it helps just to vent.

posted on Sat, 02/23/2008 - 3:39pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

you are not alone at all. i have 3 kids and my husband is the same way -- my kids even question him about it -- it is sick -- and he knows he is addicted and doesn't do a damn thing about it. it is sooo pathetic that a grown man can become like this. it seems like it is mostly men too -- any wifes out there addicted??????? i doubt it.

posted on Wed, 06/25/2008 - 11:16am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

We all feel your pain. We all feel your depression. We are all the video game widows. We wonder where our
lives have gone lately. The communication, the sex, the motivation, the interest in life. I am personally very sad.
I've lost my best friend to an addiction that he doesn't even see. I wonder who is that man these days that
sits there playing Call of Duty for hours and hours and hours. Crawling into bed in the wee hours of the night.
Never touching anymore. I am the silent widow. You simply expressed your frustration for all to read. We
are out here reading these tales of woe and dropping a tear or two in response. Perhaps its time for a visit
to the lawyers. Why do we tolerate it? I'd rather be single.

posted on Sat, 07/05/2008 - 9:11pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I know exactly what you are talking about call of duty that is the game my husband is always playing, he comes to bed late at night or I find myself waking up in the middle of the night to find him playing it at 2:00 in the morning during a week day. We end up fighting about it and then there goes the rest of the week I won't talk to him or make his lunch I basically ignore him and his phone calls and I know that is not a heathy marriage I don't know what else to do.I just pray that someday he'll get it before it's to late.

posted on Mon, 10/27/2008 - 12:00am
Abandoned's picture
Abandoned says:

My husband? does the same thing! He won't come to bed at a decent hour because he's on the game. This of course began to have an advese effect on our intimacy. He would spent all his energy on the game, he didn't have any left for me!

My 13yr old daughter doen't go to him for help in math anymore, she says because he's always on the game...when she would interrpt him for help, he would act irritable & frustrated because she interrupted. Now her grades are suffering because of it.

As of LAST NIGHT, My "husband" has already left our family so he can live with his MOTHER & play the game in peace! And told me that he's gonna find him a woman that will "let him play the game."

He even put hands on me in order to "protect" his XBOX 360 from harm. He had already threatend to leave and when I went to unplug it & pushed me forcefully to the ground and I flew from the living room to the kitchen! I could not believe that he would be willing to harm his wife to protect his game, an inanimate, lifeless object, from potential harm.
And that he furthermore would rather leave his wife & family for sake of THE GAME.
It's very disturbing that he doesn't see how he's let this thing POSSES HIM!

He's one of those gamers who have been playing since he was a small child and he is now 27. I've read studies where they said they've only been looking at this over the past 15 years, because of the last decade or so of new gamer technology. Well, 15 years ago, he was 12 , maybe younger & probably just getting started when all this began.
So, there's no surprise that the effects is manifesting now in this person who is rapidly approaching his 30's and can't seem to detach himself from childsplay!

posted on Thu, 11/29/2007 - 7:01pm
ELIZABETH's picture
ELIZABETH says:

I fear myself of a divorce because of my husbands addiction. Just wondering does marriage counceling help. I have 3 children under the age of 6. I am also almost ready to sek a divorce. I am so sorry you have to go through that also I too have been concidering it. May GOD ALWAYS BLESS YOU.

posted on Sat, 12/29/2007 - 12:52am
Connie Wetzler's picture
Connie Wetzler says:

That's funny, my husband brings it into the bathroom, the garage, the sauna, he hides it in his pocket and walks stiff legged as if?!!

posted on Mon, 12/31/2007 - 3:27am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Your husband is pathetic and to think that his priorities are so screwed up that he would engage in his time with video game and not his son. Your husband ought to read the bible and see what kind of life he should be leading and living with a wonderful wife and son and if he does not like what I write, he can email me back. I do care. I know I sound sarcastic. Video games are ruining my son's life. My ex husband got my son started on this and now he needs to be hospitalized from psychosis from lack of sleep. Maybe someday your husband might spend some time in the looney bin after the games warp his mind.

posted on Wed, 01/09/2008 - 4:07am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Hide the computer, or buy a web blocking program so that he can't get on it. Tell him he's not a child, and that he still has one, that needs more attention.

posted on Tue, 07/07/2009 - 10:13pm
Becca's picture
Becca says:

It's very true that video games, especially online ones are very addicting. I know friends that spend 9-11 hours a day on World of Warcraft, and he's also spent 64 days in his total time on the game, just on that one character.

Instead of divorce, I would recommend either councelling, or as seen on TV, intervention.
Extreme solutions for an extreme case.

If your child is yearning for Daddy's attention now, imagine what it would be like with him totally out of the picture... Eek.

Best of luck to you! ^_^

posted on Thu, 07/19/2007 - 6:36pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Hey I totally understand what you are going through!!!!!!!!! My son wont get off his video games!!!!! I can't stand it!!!! I want to get family time just like everyone else!!!!!!!!!! So my family (husband and son) and I this summer are going to play sports and way more family games!!!!!!! I can't wait!!!! SHERK!!!!

Thanks for all your help-
love everyone
Anonymous

posted on Mon, 12/31/2007 - 2:54pm
Danielle's picture
Danielle says:

Video games are killing the imagination of those who are young and are taking experience away from life by sucking the time out of a day because you want to beat a level. Kids in this day and age are DUMB. The school systems keep revising the curriculum to accomodate the ever growing need for special attention brought on by not devoting enough time to education while young. I believe if the curriculum was kept the same, textbooks remaining unrevised to match new said curriculum, there may still be a chance for the children of the future. Otherwise, our world is going to end up just like how everyone fears in bad movies: controlled and run by machines, and humans will no longer be the driving force of intelligence, innovation and of moving forward.

posted on Thu, 07/19/2007 - 6:41pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

When is playing too much? My husband logs in about 20-30 hours of playing a week. He'll deny it but I keep track. He's easily irate when I interrupt his gaming and consistently ignores me when I ask him questions. I often have to stand in the doorway and repeat what I've asked him. If he does answer, it's only in one word with no eye contact. He doesn't care that I could be leaving or hurt or anything. I am so resentful of his behavior that I, too, have contemplated divorce. The only reason I am barely" holding on is because I've only been married to him a year. I've heard the first couple of years are tough for newlyweds but what about our time together? Online gaming monopolizes his time.

posted on Sat, 07/28/2007 - 12:30pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Dear Anonymous:

You've only been married a year?Idon't want to influence you, but it gets worse when you add kids to the mix. My husband of 7 years now whats a divorce. Game playing - and my resentment of it - is a MAJOR MAJOR part!

I have 2 young kids. At times, when I am not home, he ignores them to go play those games! Mainly violent ones.

I had doubts in the marriage early on, too. I am glad that my marriage produced 2 awesome kids, but if I knew what I know now, I am not sure that I would have stayed.

Good luck and best wishes!

posted on Mon, 10/01/2007 - 12:44pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

My relationship ended after two years of being engaged. My fiance at the time played world of warcraft everyday after work until he went to bed. I would talk to him on skype and he would ignore me when I would talk to him. When I would come over I would be left alone watching t.v. while he would be playing wow until we went to bed. When we first started dating he would come over and we would watch movies without the video game and then he would ask me if he could bring his game with him. He also started to lie about things to me and started to talk to me very bad when I would ask him to put down the game. I realized that I didnt want to be with him because of his addiction and it was ruining my life.

posted on Sat, 11/29/2008 - 9:48pm
fighterflyy's picture

We don't need the medical and psychiatric groups to take their sweet time to tell us that video games, especially MMORPGs, can be addictive. The American family is suffering from fathers (and mothers) who may be present physically but completely absent mentally and emotionally as they play these games. I've gone through a rough patch working out a compromise with my own husband about his WoW time. I'm watching my sister and sister-in-law go through major marriage problems fueled by their husbands' excessive time on WoW. These are all good men, but the moment they get on this game they are totally unavailable to those who need them and who are their responsibilities as husbands and fathers. If anyone breaks into their "world" with a question, need, or request they respond with annoyance and anger. I predict the number of divorces over game addicitions will only continue to rise. We need support groups for partners of the excessive gamer. This social problem is new. Many of us don't know what to do about it.

posted on Wed, 08/15/2007 - 3:42pm
Aloneatone's picture
Aloneatone says:

I am one of those who is contemplating divorce. My husband goes through spells of intense video-gaming. For the last few months it has been guitar hero. His whole world revolves around when he will get to play the game next. His job has suffered (he is a truck driver)--I think he has been working it out to get less hours. When he does spend time with me and our two kids, it feels "planned". It is like he thought "I will spend four hours with them, and then I can play my game." He does not lift a finger to help with anything at the house---even when he has several days off. He lies about what time he goes to bed. Sometimes he sleeps until 1 or 2 PM on the couch, of all annoying places a sleeping body may lie during daylight hours. He stays out at his friend's house at all hours. That is where he is right now at 1 AM. I look forward to Monday when he leaves and I pray that he won't be able to make it home for days. He knows I don't like what he is doing. I am always stuck with the entire responsibility of raising two kids, keeping a house. I have worried myself sick for weeks that this addiction is going to accelerate to the point of him quitting or losing his job and leaving us strapped.

I am at my wits end.

posted on Sun, 08/19/2007 - 12:01am
wreathye's picture
wreathye says:

You are not alone.I am so fed up with this crap I want to scream.Ive only been married a week and already I feel alone because of a stupid video game.I feel rejected and stupid for even trying to get his attention.Email me back if you need to talk.

posted on Mon, 09/03/2007 - 12:39pm
Tiki's picture
Tiki says:

I know the feeling, I've been married not quite 2 months, he just got home from Iraq & I feel like a piece of worthless crap because he can spend 15 hours a day on a video game/mmorpg. Have you found any ideas or advice on this?

~Karla C.

posted on Sat, 11/17/2007 - 11:59pm
Anonymous26's picture
Anonymous26 says:

AHHHHH. I FEEL YOUR PAIN!!! I had dated my husband for 1.5 years and in that entire time I had made it clear that I think people that play video games are lamos that can't handle the real world ! Low and behold, my husband, upon arriving home from our honeymoon decides to drop the bomb that he's a huge gamer, putting in like 40 hours a week to these stupid online video games. I have never felt so alone in my life and I am so upset with myself that I fell for his hiding this habit. I had NO clue except now I have found out that both his parents told my parents before the marriage but my parents thought for sure I knew...and I had no clue. However, I did always wonder and ask why he never had any hobbies (I thought that was weird) while behind the scenes when I wasn't there, he definitely had a huge hobby.

Talk about feeling betrayed and then now debating if this is even worth fighting for. We've only been married for about 6 months.

posted on Mon, 01/07/2008 - 2:50pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Thanks ladies, I now know I'll never date a gamer much less marry one. But what to do when an existing hubby takes up the hobby is hard to figure out. Just another reason not to get married and have kids I guess.

posted on Tue, 05/27/2008 - 4:43pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Amen! I'm putting the finishing touches on a college research paper entitled: "Electronics has changed the face of society." A major portion of the paper has to do with video game addiction (VGA). You are correct re: not needing the medical and psychiatric groups to tell us what we already know. I lost a step son to (VGA). His (VGA) was so bad he soiled himself instead of going to the bathroom. Unbelievable : (

posted on Tue, 12/01/2009 - 4:51pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I am going through the same crap.I am a 36 year young woman that is being ignored for a stupid video game.I just got married a week ago and feel as though I have been married a lifetime.Im sick of watching him stare at a screen ALL DAY LONG.Its very annoying to me and our family.Even when I ask him to please turn it off and pay me some attention its like he doesnt even hear me.8 hours later,only because he had to go to work he finally gets off the video game.Then its home again to sit in front of a screen for 8 more hours.I am so fed up.Thank god I have a vibrator.Haha!

posted on Mon, 09/03/2007 - 12:36pm
Unhappy's picture
Unhappy says:

Married for 5 years.
It's bee almost 3 years since THAT video game has arrived into my hubbys life. He does't even leave it to buy me a birthday present or to go to family events that don't have an XBOX on location. If there is power he takes it with him.He has played sick from work to get more play time.Work, sex, our house and our life together suffers. The video game and everything that goes with it are first.I come in dead last.He says sorry again and again, but always starts it again within the hour.
Would love a divorce but he still wants his laundry done so he won't sign any papers.

posted on Tue, 09/25/2007 - 5:19pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I will be married for two years oct 6, this year. My husband and i have a 6 month old baby, most of his free time is spent on the computer, xbox360elite black or playstation2 or 3. He spent his first check on a game unit. i am fed up with our finances wasted and games come before me and the baby. this is my vent post, i know he doesnt realize that this something so petti could cause so much suffering in my heart. every time i try to talk to him about it he gets all defensive and tells me i dont have any hobbies. he told me today that he sees himself quiting in the next five to ten years. i dont feel that i can endure any more abandonment. i am a stay at home mom and i hate video games. i hate that i didnt catch myself two years ago when i should have realized what was ahead. there is so much good in him we are sooooooo in love, he wont even admit we have a problem. what should i do??? help please. i am torn and angry and heart broken. the terrible part is he says it is apart of him and i am controlling him by trying to make him stop, i would be happy with a limit. 2 hours a day wouldnt be too bad. a movie legth time, another worser part is he isnt happy when he plays which he also doesnt realize. he treats me mean and i am upset while he is playing. today he found out he didnt have to go into work, over 11 hours gaming. he kept putting me off when i would ask for his attention or help with the baby ect. "just a sec" "in a min" i dont know what to do.

posted on Tue, 10/02/2007 - 1:21am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Oh my goodness...I could have written your post! I have been married for a little over 3 years and we have a 1 year old daughter. I started, within the past week, to keep a log of his gaming activity along with items such as when I did housework but he didn't help due to gaming; me asking him to change a diaper while I'm cooking dinner but he won't because of gaming, etc., etc. I've told him there are a few times I've been really close to packing my daughter up and leaving. I just haven't had the guts to do it yet. It's sad, but I feel that this log will help give me the validation I need to leave. Xbox has ruined our marriage and it is keeping my husband from bonding with his daughter.

posted on Mon, 10/22/2007 - 2:32pm
Sweet Love's picture
Sweet Love says:

Gosh I know I am late in finding these posts from 2007 but I am so glad they are there. I do not have a baby or things would different from get go. My man plays mmorpg- Multi Massive Online Role Playing Game on the work computer at home. He has 3 screens with all his men on it and since the computers are so fast he can play like 3 men on each computer resulting in one C R A Z Y lost person. who does not eat, bathe etc.

posted on Mon, 06/21/2010 - 10:27am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Totally understand how you feel! U dont know how almost IDENTICAL the behaviors are in my husband. I see most women on this board contemplate leaving & divorce, but it is the opposite for me. My husband left me & my two kids because of the constant issue of the XBOX being a problem. He totally ignored me the other day when I was reading something to him & interrupted me by talking to someone online on the game, I told him how rude & inconsiderate it was of him to do that, and he didn't think he was being rude at all (denial). He gave a some weak, "shut up wife" kind of applogy, that was SOOO insincere!!! I'm so FRUSTRATED with him giving more attention to people online than me & my girls! So, I turned his game off in the middle of one of his conversations so he can see what rude really is.
He got so upset that he pushed me to the ground & said he was leaving & wanted a divorce!! So, he's at his mom's house now, I guess...and said he was gonna find a woman that will let him play the game!

I had no idea that so many women were suffering from almost identical scenarios!! Mine is probably a bit extreme, but the negative effects on the family is the same!

Lord, help us help our husbands!!!

posted on Fri, 11/30/2007 - 7:26pm
Sweet Love's picture
Sweet Love says:

I so hope things have worked out well for you and your baby! I do feel as if we are all in this similar situation and it is crappy. I have posted a bunch about my what used to be a man. He led me on with all of it because he does work on the computer so its always oh Im working or oh I must work all day now. Playing the game Godswar---God Swore as I call it.

posted on Mon, 06/21/2010 - 10:43am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

There seems to be a lot of heat in this forum about game addictions-- and in particular online game addictions.

I would just like to say my opinion somewhat directed at the frustrated and disgruntled wives, mothers and girlfriends to these game-users.

I, myself, got into gaming when I was young. To be honest, I was bullied a lot at school and had issues with my parents so being able to immerse myself in a world free of verbal and physical abuse was wonderful-- almost like heaven.

When I got older and got into college all of a sudden a new world appeared before me where I could speak my mind and do anything that I dreamed of. I pursued every activity I could and excelled in my major and ended up going to a really good university. I made plans for my life and was determined to follow them.

After that I got a really wonderful girlfriend. She made (and even now makes) me happier than anyone in the world. But unfortunately she is not from my country and she had to go back home... well I brought her back to my country again and we are going to school together now and, contrary to what I planned in the beginning of college, I realized that I need to start spending money to support her.

Nowadays I work every day at a job, and go to school at the same time and I still can't make enough money to support her and my dreams. At this point I have started going back to playing some games. Not too often but still to an extent that it is adversely affecting my life. Feeling that all of a sudden my life isn't in my control, I find a peaceful place within these addicting games. And to be honest I hate it, I hate it so much. It's 2am, I have class early tomorrow, I have homework to do, but I am running away inside some game in the early morning.

Your sons, boyfriends, husbands... I don't know what their history or situation is... but I am sure that just like me know that they have wonderful women and family in their lives but they just can't stop running away into their games for that small sense of protection and satisfaction that they can actually ACHIEVE something-- even if it is something as stupid as gaining 1 level and getting some newbie to say "wow you are really strong". Or passing some level in a silly music game like "guitar hero" and knowing that you can get to the highest level.

I have to believe that there is hope for all of these people addicted to these games, because I want to believe that one day I can move beyond this and get back on track to my dreams.

If I could give one piece of advice that can at least push games away for people who are addicted it would be: "Just take a step back, breath, relax... don't go back to your normal life, go much further back, take a big step back, and just figure it all out from the beginning. I know it's hard, I know its so ridiculously difficult to just continue life where you left it. It's impossible. So just take a step back, and figure it all out, little by little. Noone else can do this for you, only you can."

-Been through it, and still going through it

posted on Thu, 10/04/2007 - 3:57am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I wish my husband could talk to you.
He left me & my girls yesterday for this XBOX 360!

His thinking is TOTALLY irrational & detached from reality that he values the game over us. And even went so far to tell me he'll just find him a wife that will let him play the game!
I really think he has a past, full of rejection & bulliying too. He's been on these games since he was a pre-teen I'm sure.

I really hope you can free yourself from this stronghold NOW, before you marry the woman you love, have kids, then turn around ruining it all for a FALSE sense of achievement.

I'll remember you in my prayers!

posted on Fri, 11/30/2007 - 6:16pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I have only been married a couple of weeks too. I knew my husband was a video game fanatic but it did not bother me until he recently got the headset and started playing on-line with his "friends" who are people he does not even know. Now I feel rejected and lost. I feel jealous that he is talking constantly with others, males and females included. I know it is all game talk, but I worry that relationships could build in the future and he could end up meeting his "friends" in other social settings. I cant talk to him because he cant hear me with the headset on. He tries hard to give me attention, but I know in my heart he would rather be playing his game. He will shut off the game, come to bed, then tell me after awhile that he is not tired and wants to go back and play. I feel like a used rag and would rather fall asleep on the couch. I feel misrable and I am feeling like I dont even want to be here anymore where before I could not wait to see him. If I say anything he will probably resent me, If I dont our marriage will fall apart. He is the most wonderful person I have ever met aside from his video games. I am acting cold and distant from him but he does not "get" it. The one person in his life that he has loved to death, me, is going to be lost because of this. Rejection is one of the worst feelings ever. I used to tell myself that it could be worse and that he could be out drinking with his friends, but at this rate he might as well be because he is not "here" with me anyways. My first husband was an alcohlic and I see no difference then in video game addiction. The neglection of family and responsibilities is about the same. Thanks for listening.

Hurt and neglected

posted on Wed, 10/10/2007 - 8:51am
ABANDONED's picture
ABANDONED says:

You know what clenched me the most about your post is that I feel the same way about my husband: That he is the best man I ever met, best lover I've ever had, he's sweet, kind, loving and all that in his heart. That's why I married him!!
BUT...this game has got a hold on him, & he seems to love her (Mrs. XBOX) MORE THAN ME! He doesn't even see it! I fall asleep on the couch sometimes at night too, just to be in his presense, hoping that we will end one of his games & come sit on the couch & talk to me or watch a movie with me. But he never does. Sometimes, if I fall asleep on the couch, he'll finish the game, go to bed and not even wake me up to come to the bed with him!! My eyes water just thinking about it because you feel so neglected & hurt, as I'm SO sure you know!

I will be keeping everyone in my prayers, as I pray for my husband to wake up from out of this & come back home to us. I just don't want to believe that he reallly serious about chosing the game over US!!

**sighing**

posted on Fri, 11/30/2007 - 7:35pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

The same thing happend to me girlfrind!!!!!!!!!!

posted on Wed, 10/10/2007 - 10:12am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Isn't this supposed to be a science website??? What's up with the newly married lady and her husband that does to much gaming on the computer?!?!

posted on Wed, 10/10/2007 - 10:16am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

My husband plays WoW and got a headset a couple of months ago. I hate it. He's always talking out loud and I will think he is saying something to me. When I realize that he was talking to his friends, I get really disappointed and loney. He started playing WoW awhile ago, then he quit because I told him I thought he was playing way too much and ignoring me. He started back a few months later, saying that if he ever got too bad again he would quit. He plays just enough to annoy me now. He'll play from the time he gets home until I have long gone to bed. He will stop for about 15 minutes to eat dinner. I should probably quit cooking for him, but I don't even want to bring it up. He is constantly tired, talking about things that annoy him on the game, and hasn't done the full set dishes (his job) in a month. I just don't want to say anything, because he is so in denial. I brought up that he was playing quite a bit, and he says that I always seem busy. Yeah, busy doing chores and paying bills! He seems to like when I leave the house, so that he can play without feeling guilty. Sometimes I wish the power would go off, so that we could spend some time together, We always laugh and have fun, when he's away from the game. I just wish he would get off the game and help me out, and at least do his ONLY chore.
Just wanted to vent, glad to hear this is driving other people crazy too.

posted on Wed, 10/10/2007 - 9:23pm
ToxieDogg's picture
ToxieDogg says:

This is probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to write. I'm a 30 year old guy from the UK. For most of my life, I have been an avid gamer, ever since my dad bought home an Atari 2600 with Space Invaders and Combat when I was little. A few years down the line, my parents bought me a ZX Spectrum 48K computer and it became my pride and joy for many years…..I built up a huge collection of games and made many friends at school through swapping games with them. Eventually, after moving onto a Spectrum 128K + 2 computer (which I still have), I started my journey into the world of consoles when I decided to spend my 13th birthday present money on a brand new (at the time) Gameboy. A couple of years later, I got my first ‘proper’ console for Xmas, a SNES with Super Mario World and Street Fighter 2. Soon, I was hooked. As soon as I left school and was earning my own money, I started collecting the consoles I’d missed out on, like the NES and Mega Drive, and was soon joining the next generation as well with Playstation and N64. I had no worries in life, drifted in and out of relationships (as young people do) and just muddled along.

Things took a drastic change when I got a Dreamcast and was surfing the internet for the first time. To cut a long story short, I made some great online friends, stuck up a relationship with a fantastic girl and we moved in together just over a year later.

My gaming hobby continued however. ’Late nighters’ soon became commonplace, I continued to spend obscene amounts of cash on games and the new (and old) consoles kept on coming. We had our ups and downs but eventually me and my girl married, my best man was even one of my best online buddies. I convinced myself that gaming was good for my life.

Fast forward 2 and a bit years to now….my hobby (and hours of gaming) has continued, the last console I bought was a Wii and an Xbox 360 is next on the agenda. However, my marriage has now hit an all time low. There are a few factors involved, but my obsession with gaming is certainly one of the largest. All too late it has become clear to me that I have severely neglected important things in favour of sitting in front of the TV for hours twiddling my thumbs. We've had one marriage guidance counselling session that hasn't gone too well (it more or less just clarified what we already knew) and I will be getting counselling of my own soon. I don’t know how this will work out for us as a couple but hopefully I am going to come through this as a better, stronger and more grown up person, controlling my habit rather than it controlling me.

As it is, I am in the process of getting rid of/selling all of my old games and consoles. The sad thing is, I don't even use or play a lot of them anymore but I still had an emotional attachment with them. Basically, they reminded me of how I coped with bad times while I was growing up, by taking my mind off serious problems and giving me something to do rather than go out drinking and causing trouble. I thought that they'd helped me become a better person, instead all I'd done was developed a damaging long term addiction that turned me into a social recluse. At this stage, getting rid of them, along with my extensive collection of games magazines, has felt good and like I'm finally becoming myself.

Unfortunately, it may be too late to save my marriage....the damage done has been massive. Me regularly staying up late pretty much dissolved our sex life and I know now that my wife cried herself to sleep a lot.....and lack of sleep also made me a more tired and grumpy person in general. The money I wasted chasing my 'hobby' prevented us from having all the days/nights out and breaks away together that are vital for keeping the spark going in a relationship. I failed to appreciate her at all because I had mentally stayed at the stage I was at when I was still sitting in my old bedroom at my parents home and had no other responsibilities in life other than getting to the next level of a game. My wife has built up massive emotional barriers against me and doesn't even know if she can fully trust me as a friend again, let alone a husband, because of all my broken promises to change. I always improved for a couple of days and then went staight back to my old ways. I could not (and did not want to) admit that the addiction was controlling me, I thought that I could turn off any time I wanted. I really do not blame my wife for feeling the way she does at all, even though it's tearing me apart to see what I've done to her and at the moment, nothing I do can make amends for it or bring back what we once had.

So my stark word of warning to any games players reading is this: enjoy gaming, love gaming, share it with your friends, but never ever forget that the real world is much more important than the virtual one. Life is too short, and finding the right person to spend it with isn't easy. I hope that I have realised this in the nick of time but either way I have grown up rapidly and it is a valuable life lesson that I will carry with me from here on in. Please don’t make the same mistakes I did.

posted on Tue, 10/23/2007 - 5:50am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I've been with my fiance now for eight years. We've been living together for almost two, and we have plans to get married in 7 months. Awhile back, he had some serious issues with video game playing. But, things got better. I have found that in the last month or so, he has fallen right back into that. It's frustrating. We have argued about it but he just calls me a nag. (I hate that word NAG) He comes home from work and plays his video game until long after I've gone to bed, and then he plays all weekend long. He says its his way to unwind. I don't want to tell him what to do.....but he's so mean when he plays, If I try to talk to him...especially if he's losing he starts swearing and screaming at me. We got a puppy awhile back and sometimes she wants to play...the one night she pulled the power cord out of his computer and he lost everything....he completely freaked out.....he got up and took a swing at the dog (thank god he missed) But what if he hadn't? I'm unhappy. He's all I know....we've been together since highschool. I feel alone and left out and were not even married yet.....I don't want to spend the rest of my life sitting on the couch alone. He doens't even touch me anymore.....what kind of man is that???? I feel disgusting......help?

posted on Sat, 10/27/2007 - 10:26pm
Husbandisaddicted2's picture
Husbandisaddicted2 says:

I just wish that my husband could read these pages and not say "That's not me". He swears he isn't addicted. We've had so many fights over the stupid games! He doesn't get it either, I am very hurt. How is it that he seems to have the time to pay attention to these "Fake" people yet he can't sit with me, take me to the movies, look up anything to save our marriage?? I'm seriously contemplating seperation but fear that it may just get worse and I won't have a leg to stand on to save my marriage. yes video games are addictive

posted on Mon, 10/29/2007 - 8:15pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

these guys are just trying to make themselves feel succesful at something, they can look at it and go I just beat you in a day, it's common if they've failed at anything they'll try to make themselves feel better by winning at something else.ladies just remind your husband that he's the never failed on your opinion and just remind him that he has a large penis. it'll make the time they play games less

posted on Tue, 10/30/2007 - 3:03pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Yes its sad! I looked up this website because I was having the same debate with my husband. I read to him most of the entries, and he laughed! I think because he recognised himself in alot of the discriptions. It has made me depressed and I feel that all I do anymore is yell or get angry with him. If it wasn't for that I wonder if we would even speak! Gaming is addictive. I thought I was the only only one suffering in a virtual marriage!

posted on Thu, 11/01/2007 - 10:37pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I am also one of those contemplating divorce. My husband and I have been together for a year and a half. At first it went great... but then he got back to playing his x-box. It started out with a couple of hours a day, and soon enough he was laid off from 4 jobs in a 5 month period, and this last time it was for over a month. During the first month that he was laid off, he would play from the time he got up to the time he went to bed. If we went somewhere and he didn't have his x-box, he'd take a gameboy and play Pokemon and Dragon Warriors. He started keeping a detailed notebook on the games and if you breeded two monsters, what you would get and what powers the offspring would have. We have been seperated for a month, and I don't know what to do. Divorce is the last thing I want, but than again, can I afford to be the only one working, or for him to be making minimum wage, and be so in debt that its hard to see a way out? Every aspect of our marriage was effected by his game playing. He would go days without a shower, weeks without brushing his teeth, he went almost a year without a haircut. Even our intimate life has suffered. If anyone has any advice, please tell me.

HELP!!!!

posted on Tue, 11/06/2007 - 5:50pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I think that video games are addicting.. My boyfriend spends so much time on his xbox that he pretty much ignores me and our daughter. Most boyfriends or husbands would care enough about there girlfriends that they wouldnt want them going out without them and stuff, but mine tells me to go to the bar so that way im out of his hair so that he can play xbox and not have to spend time with me. Its getting pretty bad to the point where Im about to break up with him. He doesnt realize his attitudes , or that he is constantly playing. When he has to get off the xbox to pay attention to me or his daughter he gets mad and becomes very rude. I dont even know what to do about this problem. He doesnt see what is going on.

posted on Sat, 11/10/2007 - 11:36pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I play online video games. While I will readily admit that I probably play too much, I wouldn't say I'm addicted. I work steadily and a lot of overtime, I get my chores around the house done, etc. I just figure if I wasn't playing my game, I would just be sitting in front of the TV. What's the difference? I know my wife would like it if I didn't play, but I think that women don't like anything that takes attention away from them. I have cut my playing time down some though. But I do think there are some people that are addicted. Some of the people I play online with are ALWAYS online. Doesn't matter what time I log in, day or night, they are always there. Many of the people I play with treat the game as almost another job. They are logged in probably 10-12 hours a day. The most I ever play is maybe 4-5 hours at a time only on particularly boring days when there's nothing else to do. As for kids playing to much and getting "addicted", it's the parents fault just as much as the kids. If the parents don't want their kid playing the game, all they have to do is take it away, problem solved. If the kid gets mad and throws a fit, oh well. They are the parents, they are the ones supposedly in charge.

posted on Thu, 11/15/2007 - 6:32pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

MEN ARE JUST OVER GROWN BABIES. THEY ARE VERY SELF CENTERED AND ARE ONLY CONCERNED WITH THEMSELVES. FIRST IT WAS SPORTS NOW THEY HAVE FOUND SOMETHING ELSE TO MONOPOLIZE THEIR TIME WITH GAMES MOST EVEN ABOUT SPORTS.

THEN WHEN YOU ARE TOO BUSY THEY WANT TO COMPLAIN. JUST TREAT THEM LIKE CHILDREN.

posted on Sat, 11/17/2007 - 4:04pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Well, I tell you I've been married for 3 years and its been great some days and not so great on other days but I love my hubby very much. Happily we're just about to have our 1st baby and in order to give our newby the best in love and attention I took a hiatus off work. Just for a few months. But after finding myself completely bored to death with my extra time, I borrowed my brother's wii console to kill time til the baby arrives next month. I completely sympathize with all of you out there. While I am not addicted in the slightest, I have no problems keeping my gaming down to an hour or two a day, my husband has completely become mesmerized and addicted. He spends all his free time playing resident evil when he's not working. It's become a trial to get him to help me prepare for our baby's arrival. And he has started to show all the same classic signs of a serious addiction. He no longer pays loving attention to me and is snappish and negative when I do try to get his attention. Pretty much he has become an grumpy stressed out grouch. And he hardly ever helps around the house anymore unless I've repeatedly "nagged" him to. As we are budgeting and saving $ for our new baby we hardly ever go out and do things together any more. For some reason he feels that just his presence in the same house as myself should be enough.

I'm sure hoping that this phase will go away after we have our baby and I give back my brother his console. But I could very well see this as a lifelong pattern which if continued could definitely lead to divorce. I am not suprised at the many broken relationships gaming addiction has caused.

posted on Sat, 11/24/2007 - 5:34pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Reading these posts is so crazy, many of them sound like I wrote it and some of you have already done what I have thought about (keeping a log). I have been with my fiance for five years, we have a three and five year old. And this game is making me sick! and what drives me the craziest is that he things he is doing something important. Other than being a mother of 2, I work and go to school. And he even has the nerve to compare my studying to his playing. Maybe, I'm crazy but I don't see the comparision. He calls it getting his mind right. However, I don't know it takes 6 or more hours a day to get your mind right. He has no motivation to do anything and to be honest its unmotivating for me. A few weeks ago really scared me. I tripped over his wire and knocked the playstation down and he went crazy, throwing and breaking things. Now I didn't break the game, it just ended the the game ( which was 1 minute left in the football game.) I just could not believe what I was seeing. He will laugh when I say he has a sick addiction, but I don't think he believes me. When he is playing, you can't talk to him or you'll mess up his game. I am so sick of this, I haven't thought about leaving him, but I don't think many people think of doing this because of the game, but because it leads to other things and if things get bad what else can they do

posted on Sun, 11/25/2007 - 12:27am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Im currently going to school for game and simulation programming. I myself have done a lot of research on the effects videogames have on people as well as what draws them to it. I have seen fights break out, but ive also seen how it helps people. Some people will compare videogames to the devil, saying its the root of all evil, i couldnt be more upset with this. Ive played videogames all my life, ive seen the good, the bad, and the ugly. If someones playing games for excessive amounts of time, there are reasons behind it. Im not saying im an expert in any way. However, personally, a few select games out there have helped me overcome some bad times in my life, while others have helped me excel in math. Admittedly i have been upset with people who have interupted my gameplay, however, it was at times when i had no obligations at the time. Perhaps thats how a lot of people feel. They get into the game and feel there are no other obligations. Can that really be considered the gamers fault though?

Again, ive been a gamer all my life. I currently have a girlfriend and the responsability of watching 2 kids (4year old and a 5month old) 4 days a week and still play my video games. I know well enough what my responsibility's are. I have yet to discern the kids or the girlfriend because of the games, i have my priorities in order.

Perhaps a big part of why people get what people are calling "addicted" is because there made to feel like there are no other obligations. As an example, 2 people with 2 kids. the male starts playing video games all day ignoring everything else in the world. The woman picks up the slack, she may complain but still picks up the slack and tries harder. The male engrossed in his game sees shes doing more work so feels he can do even less. Cycle repeats.

I still refuse to put this in the same field as addiction. Thats like saying that people who love to work are addicted. People who love to play video games love control, and since the beginning of gaming, thats what it has been about.

As for videogames making people "dumb?" Who ever had that idea is extremely misguided. Ive been more creative and have learned more through videogames than i ever have through school teachings. I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but because of videogames i didn't need to be mr popular either. A lot of videogames help spark the imagination, and cause you to think outside the box in order to complete certain objectives. Play games for 8 hours a day or go to school 8 hours a day? if there was a game that taught the basics of all course matter i would deffinatly vote for videogames. When things are entertaining in someones life they tend to remember it more clearly. does anyone here know something simple like what pie is in math? just simple little things that we never use, yet have to know. How about the equation for finding energy? Some games actually inenvertitly teach these things. Either through part of the game play, or because you need an equation to figure something out and you try to make it easy as possible.

I believe ive ranted on too long, ive still got a few reports i have to turn in. I know many of you are upset and dont know what to do. Many even looking at divorce. Re-enter responsibility into their lives. Theres always a way. Or have you ever tried playing with them? Just try it, you dont have to enjoy it. Maybe, seeing you try to spend some quality time with them, will get you some quality time. I do wish everyone the best of luck and hope that everyone can work through their problems.

posted on Sun, 11/25/2007 - 7:22pm
E.Brown's picture
E.Brown says:

This is total nonsense. Why should I fall into his little "devil's den" because he can't control his addiction. I refuse to start to play a video game to please him. He has a problem and it's becoming mental. His problem has affected our family and I'll marriage. It is a very sad thing when any man can't recognize his problem and deal with it. This is the very reason why women step out on their husband's, looking for love that they are lacking at home. I bet if they found out you were stepping out they will "recognize"that and run quickly to divorce. So selfish it makes me sick!!! There is really no excuse for this behavior but addiction.

posted on Tue, 11/27/2007 - 4:44pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Video games are addictive. I'm a living witness. My husband and I are facing divorce right now as we speak because of this very problem. When he plays the games nothing else exists to him. He is willing to give up his wife and kids for the game.

posted on Tue, 11/27/2007 - 4:22pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I find it funny how so many people will divorce over a video game but not a crack habit. Hell, some women will back their husbands to the death over them killing 30 school children in cold blood. Yet when it comes to videogames its so much worst than all that.

from my understanding, most people here dont want to go through a divorce and would love their husbands back. But can one person here tell me why these people play these video games? dont say because its an addiction, because thats the wrong answer. How about, their glory days are over and this is as close as they will get to ever reliving them. Or maybe its something they can be good at without ridicule.

Lets ask another question. Do your husbands stop playing when you have a great home cooked meal? Or when was the last time you dressed up really nice and tried to seduce them? Just for 2 seconds, stop getting pissed, and take another angle on this.

I am defending video games. However, im also trying to offer a solution for you. if your trying to weed video games out of their life...you have to be prepared with putting in a substitute. For example, i drive a lot...you take away my car...id go mad. id always be stuck...

divorce is just a nice word for saying "im a quitter" i remember when they used to say love was forever, and "till death do us part" i guess that when it comes down to it, every woman whos wanting to divorce is a good for nothing liar with no regards to vows or loyalty. (dont get me wrong, id say the same thing about guys)

time stops me again, theres always a solution. Think outside the box. Take care and best of luck

posted on Tue, 11/27/2007 - 11:22pm
ABANDONED's picture
ABANDONED says:

it's kinda hard to think outside the box, when your husband can't hear you because his head is stuck in the XBOX!!

I'll prepare a meal for him, and he'll just play & eat at the same time. I'll dress sexy, walk by him, whisper in his ear, and he may give me a few seconds of attention, but will go right back to the game. I'll get him to go to a movie, as soon a we come home, he IMMEDIATELY gets right back on the game, like we hadn't just spent time together!
Those suggestions only works on a man who's not controlled by the game....ADDICTED! There are people who can moderately play & not loose grip on reality. But most men DO NOT moderate their play & irresponsibly linger in a virtual world where he receives a FALSE sense of achievement & foster irrelevant relationships while neglecting the REAL WORLD, and the REAL people that love them!

posted on Fri, 11/30/2007 - 7:56pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

AMEN SISTER!!!!!!!!

posted on Sat, 02/23/2008 - 4:03pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

It's all about filling or addressing needs. Whether its the gamer or the people around him (considering the majority of posts here). For those of you frustrated with how supposed video game addiction is impacting your relationships, ask yourself, what needs do I (or he) have that aren't being addressed. That's where youll make some progress on your relationship. In my Dad's generation, guys like him spent all their time in the garage, in the woods or on the water, and not necessarily with any of their family. My Dad doesn't get video/computer gaming; doesn't accomplish anything as far as he's concerned. Net effect on families is the same however - time away from parenting, building relationship with spouse, etc. Anyway, I guess I cringe when I read or hear people taking the cop-out and vilifying the technology. It's pretty basic stuff that people gravitate toward things that address a need. So be creative about recognizing needs, and you'll find a way to improve a relationship. For the record, I'm a 40-something, married professional father who does spend time with video/computer games. When it gets in the way, or when my wife's needs aren't being met, she is so kind to let me know and it gets addressed because I value our relationship. It's no different than her being a regular watcher of a certain sit-com on TV or the amount of time she spends talking on the phone to her friends. I think it really helps to be less judgemental about the technicalities and focus on the basic needs being addressed (or ignored).

posted on Wed, 11/28/2007 - 10:11am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Where to started for you ladys

I'm sorry to say this but you all have this wrong .. im not sure how this work with your problems with your men in your lives. But one thing i can ask it what started your husbands to start play games in the first place, what did you guys stop doing to make you women boring to your partners that they decided to play game 24/7. Now them ignoring there kids that is BS and if there doing that they were bad husband/fathers to begin with, cause games don't make you a bad parent LOL.

Have you ever thought maybe your man is depress and play a games takes his mind off the world, for example he hates his job, dont like the people he works with, maybe dont feel loved by his wife anymore, maybe he is tried of life and does what to bother with it anymore and thus the games take him somewhere else, what about sex when you had your kids did your sex life stop, if so that could be a huge part of it, cause for a man eating, sex and sleep is there hobby and when you stop the sex the games take that spot ( this is no Joke ) or he could just not care about you and want to leave you so he plays the games to make you leave.

There is many reason he could have started and now he just enjoys it to much to stop, or hasnt found a reason to stop. i would suggest you talking to your husband and ask him why he started playing games in the first place and if it cause of these reason's you know were to start, if your husband has been playing games from the start then im suprised you married him cause im sure he was dong the same thing he is doing know.

as for me I have been play games since i was 6 and im 22 now i happily married, my wife and i met on a MMORPG call Dark Age Of Camelot, we play for 1 year together and then got married, we still play the same game up an till here computer stopped working and now we bought an X-box 360 and trying to enjoy that together my wife isnt so good, but she try and we have lots of laughs together. I guess what im trying to say is there is bad exp. and good. and it is also like that old saying a smoker and a non-smoker cant get along but a non-smoker with non-smoker can, and vase a versa. same as gamers :P.

I can say this with kids there is a small addiction but that passes with age, when i was younger i couldnt get away from gaming, but thats not to say i didnt go to school do my homeworker and chores that is all with the parents, and how they plan there child's day, if you make time for it they will do all they need and then play the games for and hour or two. and then dinner and to bed, with no question that is call structure :P.

As for my wife and me we work 8 hours a day, come home and do what needs to be done with the house and making dinner. Then when normal people go to waste there time watching boring TV, my wife and i are laughing and having fun with each other playing video games and we have a great sex life which is important cause lets face it im a man and without that for me life sucks, We love each other beyond life itself and care for one another dearly. when we are not playing games we watch movies together, and enjoy each others company.

So maybe what you and your partners should do is find the middle and enjoy one another hobby and stop BS about video games are an addiction, cause lets face it without them i wouldn't have meet my wife who i love and charish today ! :D

Nate J

posted on Sun, 12/09/2007 - 3:17pm
Tiffany's picture
Tiffany says:

Ok first of all. I didn't stop doing anything to make my husband start playing video games. He hurt his back and didn't work so he would play video games. Well his back is better he still doesn't have a job and he still plays video games. So that isn't anything that I did. We have more than our fair share of problems not always about video games. I would say it's been about video games for the past 5 months or so since he has been able to work he just hasn't. I have a full time job and come home and nothing is done around the house. His clothes are everywhere, dishes are dirty and left in the living room. The garbage is overflowing, he leaves trash on the counters instead of throwing it away. I literally do it all. But I have stopped. I'll pick up just so my house isn't a pig sty, but I don't touch his stuff. I don't do his laundry. It's taken a long time, but he is slowly getting better. He is just now realizing how much he has hurt and neglected me. We have an agreement that he stops playing video games when I get home from work, then he might play for an hour or two, but when I go to bed he lays down with me until I am asleep and then he plays again for a bit and then comes to bed. I'm 22 and he is 23 and we have been married for about a year and a half now. He wasn't like this when we first started dating and before we got married. Of course I've thought about divorce, but before we got married we said that divorce would not be in our vocabulary and even though it has a few times been mentioned in an argument, the little things he does by saying he will stop playing and lay down with me for bed and actually keeping his word mean a lot then if he was to say he's going to stop playing altogether and then a week later he plays again. Our good times together are really really good, but our bad times I think sometimes are really bad. At least I know I'm not the only one with a husband who is addicted to video games. Who of course does not think he is "addicted" because you "can't be addicted to video games." He sometimes likes to be a know it all. Anyways...I hope it gets better. I just try to remember that we both have the same values, I just think that he forgets them more often than I do.
GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!

posted on Sat, 01/12/2008 - 1:53am
Don't be a game victim's picture
Don't be a game victim says:

It's true video games will eventually take control of your life and especially your health. People can say video games are interacting because people chat online solve puzzles and such.. Today, most of the popular video games are not considered Tetris or math problem solving software, programs, etc.. Today's games are 1st person shooting ( Halo, Battlefield, Counter Strike ) or MMORPG ( Warcraft 3, runescape, you know the whole package... Not to mention the popular console gaming systems such as PS3, Xbox 360, Wii, Gameboys, PSP etc..

Yes, these games can be quite fun and extremely entertaining but the majority of people will suffer. Hours and hours will be spent for "gameplaying", substituting sleeps hours and physical activity. You gamers reading this know its true!!

I'm 18/ male and recently started college. I spend half of my time gaming and half studying. It is difficult to balance the two and sometimes my gaming hours overlap my studying schedule. Online, video games are addicting because it stimulates the mind and makes your heart beat faster. ( .. getting 3-5 kills in one round of Counter Strike would be the perfect example).

I end up studying less, staying up late just to be with my lap top. ( Not Porn, You-tube, music, daily news search, but... online games.....Soldier Front...ahem) I sleep around 3 A.M. studying only a total of 2-3 hours a day, while 6 - 7 hours of gaming.

**My Symptoms**
- Gained 10 lbs, not water weight, but fat because I sit down on the chair immediately to resume my gaming, for hours.
- Excercise less, lose muscles
- My parents do not see me as a responsible man and the inevitable disappoint occurs
- I get baggy eyes when I go to school, people think I take drugs..
- Unable to concentrate in school, receving C's and B-'s..not enough to survive in today's college competition for Major Degree programs = job.
- Will most likely lose a girlfriend if I had one

!@#$^*&( The addiction is REAL, it is not your imagination. You are addicted and preventing yourself from countless opportunities life has to offer. Video games are pixel, animations, polygons manipulated and designed into shapes by their makers. -- I stopped playing games after writing this article and I hope people out there in a similar situation will agree with me.

posted on Fri, 12/21/2007 - 1:15am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

My husband plays for like 12 hours or more a day every day. Death to call of duty death I tell you

posted on Fri, 12/28/2007 - 8:13pm
ELIZABETH's picture
ELIZABETH says:

I think it's a addiction My husband gets up and the first thing he does is plays his game. He comes home from work at 4am he plays his game. I believe it's a addiction. I believe it could not only ruin anyones marriage but also the whole family. I think who made all type of games knew this and I BELIEVE IT'LL RUIN LOTS OF FAMILIES ALL ACROSS THE COUNTRY..... I HATE MY COMPUTER AND I JUST WANT TO THROW IT AWAY...... If you noticed you're husband or child playing games try to get a limit on it ASAP. If you don't it'll ruin your whole life. GAMES ARE ADDICTING. MY OPINION THEY'RE MORE ADDICTING THEN DRINKING OR DRUGS. Stop this habit before it ruins you. I am about to leave and my husband tells me now theres the door. Why is a F***NG computer and games more important then a wife and 3 kids...

posted on Sat, 12/29/2007 - 12:46am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I absolutley believe there being an addiction to video games. I have seen friends lose jobs, suffer in school and some have ultimately become Socially Handicapped. They become dis-interested in everything, from sleeping, going outside, spending quality time with family and progressing their intellectual or academic pursuits.
My ex husband of 6 years was married to all of his game stations, video games, strategy guides and computer sites exclusively devoted to video games.

I'm not going to allow that behavior in my life or give it the opportunity to affect me, which is why the Ex was served divorce papers.
I choose to surround myself with individuals that are intellectually stimulating and socially involved with themselves and with the real world around them.

These addicts do need help. They live like zombies, they live through a superficial reality.

posted on Sun, 12/30/2007 - 2:59pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I've read a lot of the comments here.. I am glad that I've found that I am not the only one having to go through this. I haven't thought of divorce yet but I have questioned of whether my marriage was going to last. I haven't given up yet. I decided this morning that I was going to write him a letter and paste it to his computer monitor, I was done going to him and talking to him and that when he's ready to talk, to come to me. I told him that he had a gaming addiction and told him that he needed help and that perhaps we should have the internet turned off and perhaps even the computers taken out of our home entirely. It would seem easy enough, but I also attend college online. I told him that I would find some other way to attend college. His addiction has gotten to the point that when he comes home the first thing he does is turn on the computer. It wouldn't be so bad if he were just turning it on to check his email or read something, the news anything but the games are played instead and they are played until midnight on the weekends when he's gotta go to work the next day, and from the time he wakes up til 2am and lately whenever after 2am on the weekends. I am a stay at home Mom too, but I also have a part time cleaning job and I worry about leaving our 2yr old daughter with him because he says that he is watching her but how can he when he's playing his games with his eyes glued to the monitor and his headset on? He doesn't help out around the house either and has told me that he needs me to make out a list of things for him to do around the house if I need help around the house. He barely knows where anything is at in his own home. I have to tell him where everything is. He barely takes care our daughter, and I worry if he's even feeding her or giving her anything to drink. He doesn't pick up after himself, or even our daughter. I am the only who takes care of her. He gets volatile and slams doors and sometimes has thrown things, not directly at me but I have thought that when will he eventually start doing that? He gets volatile when I've come to talk to him about his addiction and now he's getting volatile when I ask him to help out with our daughter. He says that he loves me and our daughter but he fails to show it. Its hard, this marriage thing, I've only been married three years now and this is my first and last marriage. His addiction is ruining our family!!!!!

posted on Sat, 01/05/2008 - 10:34am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

My husband is addicted to World of Warcraft. He plays every chance he gets. This game is the only source of arguments between us. Everytime I end up in tears and he promises he'll give the game up. It usually takes about 2-3 hours before he is playing again. I'm always on hold for him to finish a "mission" waiting to have lunch, a conversation, anything. I'm so fed up I don't know what to do? We are expecting our first child and I am terrified that this game will continue to drive a wedge between us at a time when we should be bonding. I'm so very sad that I'm reaching out to anyone on the www for advice...

posted on Sat, 01/12/2008 - 6:23pm
JessicaO's picture
JessicaO says:

I'll be married 3 years in a month. My husband started playing Everquest 2 a year ago and has not stopped. I even left to stay with my parents for 3 weeks, he barely noticed. He doesn't think that he ignores me or his responsibilities or that he gets cranky when I try to talk to him but he does. I have been thinking about divorcing him for a few months now and I am scared of taking that step to go see a lawyer but I can't really see any other solution. He's started taking drugs on the weekend in order to stay awake and play the game for 2 days straight. He acts completely obvlivious yet gets really defensive when I bring it up. I like video games too, I've played mmorpgs so I don't think blaming the games is right. For every addicted worthless gamer there are dozens of regular people who just like playing games. He's apologized, promised time to me but never delivers, we haven't had sex in over a year because of this addiction. He calls me names when I bring it up, really bad ones, but now it doesn't even bother me because I've given up hope of him ever taking this marriage seriously. He's going to have to learn the hard way and I'm sure he'll be happier alone living in a filthy apartment once I'm gone so he can play his game uninterrupted. I feel I have no other options.

posted on Sun, 01/20/2008 - 7:29pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I'm over it too! My husband comes home from work, puts on that stupid looking headset and plays Halo 3 for hours on end. We never go on dates, we never do anything together. He blames having children on that, but in reality enjoying time with me is not a priority anymore it seems. The other day I used his car and popped in a CD he had on his seat, it was a podcast about Halo 3....is he freakin serious? It's not hot.....in fact it's a total turn off and has actually affected my feeling of attraction towards him. I don't even want him to touch me anymore because I just see a loser when I look at him. I am bottled with resentment about this, because I have addressed the issue on numerous occasions, & his attitude is for me to accept it as it is something he loves to do. What makes me so disgusted is that it's soooo unproductive and he tries to tell me it is, like he's working towards being a professional gamer or something! EWWWW!!!! We are not living in the lap of luxury....no where close. We have two young daughters and he doesn't seem to be interested in pursuing his career further than the Job he has. He's so talented that it's sad how he is letting his life slip by without giving it his career and his talents his all while he is young. He used to have a passion for his work, now he just cares about the video games. This gaming passion is tearing our marriage apart. I don't want to leave him because I do love him as a person and I refuse to do that to my girls because we get along and are nice to each other, but I seriously, want an open relationship now. After 10 years of this, I just don't see him changing, I don't expect him to change and I need something else. I am not moving on the "open relationship" thing yet, however, I think about it a lot.

posted on Mon, 01/28/2008 - 4:26am
sb's picture
sb says:

It's stunning to read all these comments from other women whose partners are obsessed with gaming. I often feel like I'm the only one - none of my friends are in this situation and I feel so ashamed that I put up with it.

My husband and I moved into a new house two months ago and at the same time he got an xbox 360 (which I bought as a gift for him and now regret) and has played it almost every free minute. He works from home and is not doing much work now, so it means gaming from 8am to midnight some days. My guess is that he plays at least six hours a day.

Yesterday we went somewhere and he was driving and said when he drives it feels like he's in the videogame! He also has headaches and backaches from sitting on the couch all day.

I should have known...when we were dating, he did nothing but play WoW for six months straight. I was on the verge of breaking up with him, but then he stopped (not due to threat of break up - I didn't tell him). We've been married just over a year and if the xbox nonsense keeps up we won't make it to two years.

In my husband's case, I think the obsessive gaming comes from depression and trying to avoid stress. I also believe that's why he rarely works and has no interest in growing (or even maintaining) his business. I don't know to what extent the game is addictive - if it weren't xbox it would be tv, internet, something else. He won't say he's addicted to the games, but says he is addicted to porn.

Just like another poster, he refuses therapy and says I should go to work out my issues.

posted on Mon, 01/28/2008 - 10:58am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

video game are really fun, but i do believe that they can become an addictioin like drugs or alcoholism. I also believe that if the addiction does not hurt anyone but themselves, why do anything about it, just leave things the way they are. Video games are addicting but they do not hurt anyone.

posted on Thu, 02/07/2008 - 12:41pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

What?!?!?!?

Video games don't hurt anyone????????

Yes, CLEARLY, none of these people are being hurt by them.

Are you insane? Do you not feel the incredible PAIN that these people are all feeling because of families and marriages being DESTROYED by these games?

How ignorant can you get??????

posted on Tue, 02/19/2008 - 9:52am
Juanita's picture
Juanita says:

well heck no video games arentaddictive myspace is though lol :P

posted on Thu, 02/07/2008 - 5:43pm
Anonymous Betty's picture
Anonymous Betty says:

My Husband is an XBOX .360 Live addict. He plays everynight after work and all day and night on the weekends. What really upsets me is that he doesn't do anything around the house anymore..doesn't cook, doesn't help clean, doesn't help with our son. Nothing. The Christmas lights are still on the house and it's February. Yes, I could take them down myself....but why the hell can't he?

What really upsets me is that he's *be-friended* a female gamer...and they flirt for hours almost every night while I'm in the next room trying to get some sleep. I haven't heard anything "sexual", but the flirting is making me sick. I'm ready to pack it up and move out. I know he'll say she's just a friend, and I know she lives across the country...but that still doesn't make it right. He talks to her for hours, but doesn't spend more than 5 minutes talking to me when he gets home at night and then can't come to bed at a decent hour. I'm sorry....we're not teenagers anymore. I don't mind a little gaming, but staying up until 3am talking to another female is crossing the line.

posted on Fri, 02/08/2008 - 2:39pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Operative word is CAN. Alcohol can be addictive. drugs can be addictive. Obivously, from the comments here gaming can be addictive. `in many ways these comments like those suffering spousal abuse -- the psychological kind!

One suggestion for those of you out there with addicted spouses is to find an Al-Anon meeting. They are for the families of addictees and help you better understand yourself and decide what is the best option for you. Had two kids doing drugs and it's nice to know you are not alone and to learn how to cope -- including leaving. Good luck to all of you

posted on Fri, 02/08/2008 - 4:59pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Sometimes people are angered by the way the other people treat you, and playing video game sometimes help me ignore them. I wish they just stop nagging. And ill stop playing.

posted on Sat, 02/09/2008 - 10:12pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

xbos is the recipe for divorce my hubby and i have been together for 6 years and over the years has gotten worse i have come to realize that only one kind of man gets up in the middle of the night and thats a cheating man not to make love to his wife but only to play a video game even though hes so tired and has to take naps and falls asleep on the couch or cant get up with the babies a woman can only tolerate so much but i swear it would be alot easier to deal with a cheater than a gamer ...

posted on Tue, 02/12/2008 - 1:46am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

SUMMARY:

Okay, so we are all experiencing the same basic patterns here and all are looking for a solution.

We have gamers in our lives who ignore life outside their computers, who prioritize the game over all else, and we ALL WANT TO KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT. (I am in the same boat -- married ten years, together 15 -- and contemplating divorce because I deserve more than my gamer can give me).

OPTIONS:

1.) Ignore it -- go on with your own life. Maybe they will stop... at least you can pay attention to your own life and invest that negative energy in yourself.
2.) Intervention -- anyone tried this?? I am curious about it.
3.) Therapy -- if your gamer can leave. I tried therapy just for me since my gamer wouldn't go (SHOCK!). My therapist didn't seem to take the gaming addiction thing seriously....
4.) Divorce -- Maybe if we all filed divorce at the same time it would get some attention! Ha ha... Devastating thought, divorce.... It is what many people are coming to now.

posted on Tue, 02/19/2008 - 10:00am
HelloYoureAddictedWakeUp's picture
HelloYoureAddictedWakeUp says:

Wow, I Googled "Grown Men Addicted to Video Games" and came across this revealing Blog. Not to be redundant but I'm in the same boat. I've been married for two years, and my "husband" (isn't it sad when you have to put that term in parenthesis) has become increasingly addicted. He has a playstation 3 or 4 (whatever they are up to) 2 types of small portable gaming things and I recently said ok to his getting his xbox because that was the only way he would agree to letting me rescue a dog from the pound that was going to gassed the next day. (He says he's allergic to dogs, but I really think he is allergic to feelings). Literally every spare moment he has he plays. He doesn't even look at me or know when I'm gone anymore. Thankfully, I didn't have children with him, but my girls can't even look up to him as a role model. He has ZERO to do with them. I have talked myself blue and ad nauseum to him about this. He also gets violent (which he has had problems with in the past anyway) if I make any insinuations about taking away from his gaming or taking away his toys. Sex is pretty much nil, he does zero around the house, literally drops clothes and garbage wherever. When he isn't playing he is reading message boards on gaming for hours on end. Did he ever hear of reading a book? Even if we watch a movie - the ONLY other thing he will do with me, he plays one of his portable games!!!!! He says he loves me but it's just so I'll stay off his back or sadly maybe he thinks he does. I used to be terribly hurt and felt so rejected but know I have grown not to really care. He is 32 and only a shell of a person. He did start playing at about 12. He was into tournaments. He gets furious if I interfere with his games for two seconds, or humors me saying, one second..... or in a second......(which never comes). My family stopped talking to me when I married him due to really bad vibes and hates his guts (and they don't even know how obsessed he is). He does see a therapist, but for his "anger" issues. He claims his therapist is fine with his gaming and doesn't consider it an addiction. My husband says it only bothers me because I choose to let it bother me. Since he has been seeing him he has not been as immaturely aggressive as he was just in general, but that's because he interacts even less with me than before. In reality I actually have grown to hate him. He has a good job, but also plays hookey at times to play games more. He is responsible at his job and works many hours overtime. Of course he is in a call center where he can play his portable games nonstop too. It's almost crazy how he doesn't see that he is addicted and really thinks he is a good husband. I now and then ask him incredulously if he really believes that and he does. Our 40 year old neighbor died last week and her 11 year old girl found her dead after school. On that day, I had her two girls come over, and he wouldn't even look up from his game to tell them he was sorry. When I told him to tell them that - he said no because he isn't. He has lost all touch with humanity and reality. I told him I want an open marriage and he is actually ok with it as long as I stay off his back about gaming. Luckily or not luckily because I paid for it all but his name is also on it,) I have property in another state - and am trying to develop another life there if you know what I mean. There is a gorgeous guy that is my neighbor with two kids the same age as mine that is single and he has custody who is a real man. He helps me and cares about me more than my own husband who does zero with the property. This other guy is building a deck for me there for peanuts and has fixed things for free just because we were good friends. I think he is sick of hearing about this, because he doesn't call as much as before. My husband doesnt even know when I have left to go down there, and doesnt call me for days at times. Unfortunately since I have school age kids in this city and their dad is here (who actually is looking great in comparison to my current moron), I can't go as much as I would like to. Plus I am trying to rent it out for income. These days I am actually relieved that my husband just writes me a check and leaves me alone. Except when he comes to bed - he falls asleep in two seconds and then starts snoring so amazingly loud and annoyingly. I take sleeping pills so I can fall asleep his so f**n loud.He has gotten a huge stomach, yuck. Doesn't work out one iota anymore. He lied about his all his wonderful vows ( I didn't know he was obsessed when we got married, and it got progressively worse.) After his last immature blow up, I told him he has one year to straighten up. Of course he has gotten 90% even more into gaming if that was possible. Anyway, I can't stand my husband - he is a complete loser - and I'm only with him for the money for now, since he squandered a good bit of my savings of some stocks which went belly up and while I am trying to start a business. Today he IM me that his friend died, but I didn't know him - its one of his gaming friends. He as usual had nothing intelligent to say when he got home nor did I care. However, I am on anti-depressants from this, and I escape with two much sleep. I have become so numb...... The other day I was talking to him about something important and he just walked away from me while I was talking like a zombie and went back to his game. He got really belligerent when I called him on it, and said he was in a tournament and could have made two grand and had he won he was going to give it to me, that's why he was so angry. What BS! I told him I would pay two grand to get a good husband! He is like a cold housemate and that is all.Well, thanks for letting me vent and it's good to know I am not crazy or alone in this.

posted on Mon, 03/10/2008 - 3:16am
GamerNoMore's picture
GamerNoMore says:

As it turns out, I used to be one of the above mentioned husbands, except I've never played World of Warcraft. I have an Xbox 360 and became "achievement obsessed" as well as playing online multiplayer games (mostly of the shooter variety). I would normally game 2-3 days a week for no more than 2 hours, and I'd only play after about 9PM when everyone was already turning in.

Once I started chasing achievements (which have absolutely ZERO value outside of an overall score and bragging rights) I went up to 5 days then eventually everyday into the wee hours of the morning.

About a month ago now, I removed all the games from my house leaving only the 360 and one controller for the family to watch DVDs. This was a decision I made on my own, in order to keep what's most important to me.

Since then, things between my wife and I have been exponentially better. I'm generally in bed a lot earlier, and with the exception of a restless night here and there, I'm well rested and performing well at work. I've lost weight, I'm more active and typically am 1000% more willing to go outdoors to do something with the kids (15, 9 and 2). We've even found what may be our new family activity, called geocaching. It requires walking (with a purpose as I said), hiking, research and getting outdoors.

I'm 29 years old, and have been married for nearly 4 years. This gaming problem is for the men my age who have been playing their whole lives. The technology is what we've been dreaming of since we were kids, and for most of us who are married with kids, it does turn out to be the only time we spend with our own friends (or at the very least people who share a common hobby).

However, in the end as I've already said, games are games and friends are friends. But my family is most important to me.

I don't know what to tell the majority of the women who have posted about their husbands who are similar to the way I was. To think that any man is willing to forego his marriage in exchange for entertainment is unacceptable. I'm sure most women, in trying to be a good wife, embraced the gaming (and maybe even tried to participate!). And in giving their husbands an inch, he took a yard and now it's uncontrollable.

This is my advice to you:
If you've already THOUGHT about divorce, and have even taken the steps to begin the legal process, see it through. Any man not willing to put down what is essentially an overpriced toy and try to save his marriage is not worth waiting around for, if he hasn't "seen the light" he never will. He'll have loads of regret when he's on his deathbed. But for now, it seems like all of you need to do what's best for YOU (and in most cases, your children as well).

Good luck, and may God bless you.

posted on Mon, 03/17/2008 - 5:04pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Thank you for all you said. You are a real blessing to your family.

posted on Wed, 01/21/2009 - 9:01pm
rule's picture
rule says:

I would love to start a support group for any women whose husbands or significant others are addicted to these stupid games. I, too, am on the verge of divorce - my husband has forgotten he has a wife and 2 kids over his World of Warcraft game - email me at lrule@kerrygroup.com :-) I have been with him 10 years, married 9 - he's been a gamer over 8 years.

posted on Mon, 04/07/2008 - 12:06pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I too have a husband who is addicted to gaming. It started out with a silly racing game, but lead into war games, as now he is obsessed with the Medal of Honor war series. Every free moment he gets he turns on the playstation, and then forget it. God forbid he help me make dinner or even a crazier idea, help me take care of our 3 girls. He gets absolutely livid when I comment about how much I hate the game or that god forbid he shut it off and pay attention to me and my children. Finally I set my wedding ring on the playstation and told him he should marry it because it's the only thing he pays attention to. And get this, he's mad at me because I got mad because he is constantly playing that game. Am I wrong to be completely angry over this whole issue. Mind you, I work full-time, I go to school part-time, take care of my girls (ages 3, 8, and 10), and cook for my parents everynight of the week. I bend over backwards to make him happy and in return I have to fight for his attention. Is there any solution to this problem aside from breaking the game in half and throwing out the game system. The sad thing is, the playstation is mine as I got it from my parents one year for my birthday because I couldn't get enough of dance dance revolution. A. because it was excercise for me and B. because it was an active game I could play with the kids. Other than that I didn't want any other games. Well the day I got it, that night he and I went out, and he bought his first game, the car game, and from then on, it has been all down hill. How do I get him to realize how addicted he is to this stupid game, and that nobody can stand it or him when he plays? Help me, because this is leading down a bad road.

posted on Tue, 10/07/2008 - 7:59pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

WOW i agree they r bad 4 u . I have friends who play a lot and when they talk about it i have no idea what they r saying.

posted on Tue, 04/08/2008 - 3:33pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

This is completely unbelievable how many woman are going through this!!!
I'm literary scrolling down the page going OMG OMG OMG....almost crying at this point!!!
my husband plays xbox 360 online... and actually has better relationships with the people he plays with then me and his 3 young children... for the past 5 years now...
I am currently seeking a divorce i can't take it anymore, oh btw not only is he addicted to the "games" but also to "sparks" and energy drinks to stay awake to play the "Games"
I hope the Microsoft company and the makers of whatever other video game systems people are addicted to knows how many lives they have ruined and how many families they have torn apart...
how could anyone at this point deny the fact that video game addiction exists...
and if you do your simply one of the addicted or have not ever witnessed an addiction..
I was going to suggest a group for all the wives or anyone affected by this horrible addiction but i see the member rule has already done so...

posted on Mon, 04/21/2008 - 10:40am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

My husband is also addicted to WOW. We've been married for almost 2 years and I've tried numerous times to talk to him about it. He was addicted to a different game while we were engaged but I thought that I could make him realize that he played too much and that we would reach a compromise. I've gotten him to where he will only play 2-4 nights per week and not on Friday, Saturday or Sunday. This was his idea. We've gone through that at least 3 or 4 times but it seems like after a few weeks he's back to playing every single day. He uses his vacation days/sick days to stay home and play. He's on the computer when I get home (and expects me to cook, clean, and work full time) until way after I go to bed. There have been several mornings that I wake up to find him still on the computer. Pretty much the only times he doesn't play is to watch a movie with me (maybe 1-2 times per month), on occassion (a Fri. or Sat. night) to go out with his friends, or because he wants to get some. I've just about had it. I'm tired of being his mother/maid/chef and being left alone all the time. I didn't think that being married meant I would be lonlier and sadder than I've ever been in my life.

posted on Tue, 04/22/2008 - 4:55pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I came upon this site a few months ago after I decided to end a 10 year marriage to a WOW IDIOT. I refer to him as Cyclops. The papers are filed and although I am certain that my "SO CALLED" marriage is over I find myself needing to remind myself where I have been for the last 6 years.

My story was like everyone else the feelings of abandonment, anger, frustration and most of all dis belief that someone that I once cared for can only find power, strength courage, honor and a sense of accomplishment in the fantasy world. I guess his Real Life, Real Wife, Real Son just didn't CUT- IT for him on the other hand he really doesn't come close to being even adequate as a Husband / Father or a Human Being anymore.

Cyclops has been addicted to these games for at least 6 years and prior to that it was constant Nintendo and some other war game playing online for hours day in day out. . I have literally spent years in a state of confusion and denial over his obsession, blaming myself for “HIS” need to live in some vile fantasy world for 6 -12 hours a day.

The person that I thought I married was kind, alert, interested in life he seemed to care deeply for me and my son. The “CREATURE” I’m divorcing is Cold , 100lbs overweight, unhappy, non communicative, disinterested in the world in general and very often is neglectful of basic HUMAN hygiene, a look of void and vacancy is the best way to describe Cyclopes these days. He refuses to go back on depression medication and as bitter as I sound I also do believe he is sick in more ways than one but for my own sanity and my son's we are leaving.

Anyway it's tough leaving but honestly is was tougher living through the REAL NIGHTMARE of being involved with someone addicted to a fantasy.

Best of Luck to All !

posted on Mon, 04/28/2008 - 12:42am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

i am 16 years old and doing a research paper about video game addictions, because i am addicted to Wow... and i have all of the symptoms so far.

Preoccupation, Tolerance( i have to play more each time before i get satisfied), Loss of control,withdrawal (it sounds funny.. but sadly its true) and my self esteem sucks.

I dont want to stop... oh well back to wow

posted on Fri, 04/25/2008 - 1:07am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

The XBOX 360 is RUINING my marriage. My husband and I have been married for 13 years and I don't see another year in our future. The past 2 years have been hell because of the XBOX 360. He use to atleast come to bed at night but now.....FORGET IT. Here's his daily plans, get up an hour late for work, get to work, at the end of the day he'll come home just in time for dinner then turn the XBOX on around 6 pm and play until 2 or 3 am. This is every night. On the weekends if he's not asleep he's on the XBOX. It's the online gaming that hooks them. We have 3 kids and he ignores us all. I could walk around him nude and that wouldn't get his attention. I think playing with all these guys, he must of turned gay. If not gay he has a woman at work because he has nothing to do with me. Thank god he atleast goes to work everyday but we no longer have anything in common. We never really speak to each other because he always has a headset on like hes a kid. He has a group on the game that hes been playing with for a long time and they've all exchanged phone numbers, well let me tell you....he'll sit on the phone with them or private chat on XBOX 360 and talk 30 mins. or longer. I can't even get him to stay on the phone with me for 1 minute. I feel like a single mom. I'd like to get a baseball bat and hit the XBOX ubtil it vanishes. I can honestly say that I hate my husband because of the way he treats us.

posted on Mon, 04/28/2008 - 9:27am
No expert, but...'s picture
No expert, but... says:

Do you think, just maybe, that the videogame equipment in your (and all the other) stories may not necessarily be the problem here? Just maybe?
There are people, for instance, who drink because they love alcohol, and that ruins their marriage, but then there are also people who drink because they are already in a failed marriage.

It kind of seems like the men involved here may already be depressed--just like a lot of people who have substance abuse issues. Or it might be that everybody here actually shouldn't be together. If he ignores you so much that "he must of turned gay," maybe he's just not interested in you anymore. It's probably his loss, but it's probably also not the case that he turned gay for his xbox, and that's why you're being ignored. Do you really think that if there were no more video games in the world that all these marriages would suddenly be healed?

Your husband sounds like a jerk, but the gaming is a symptom, not a cause.

posted on Mon, 04/28/2008 - 11:29am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Sorry - but you sound a little condescending it is obvious the gaming is a symptom of a much deeper problem.

Yes, in-fact the people addicted to the games can not accept REAL LIFE , REAL WIVES REAL, CHILDREN, REAL PROBLEMS the game is just the vehicle that the cowards use . Is it addiction mental illness or selfishness ? Probably a combination...

The Women and Children are living the Real Nightmare and dealing with it in the Real world. We have no where to run and hide inside of ourselves, we are too busy Working,Cooking, Cleaning and dealing with the embarrassment of living with a loser . Everything we deal with on our own while the "imbecile in the computer room sits on his brains.

It's funny though if all of the wives and children are just so NOT interesting to the gamer anymore why don't the gamers Grow A Pair or go get some testosterone shots and leave like a man ? Why can't they find Courage and Power and Real World ?

I don't think it's just about the gamer being unhappy with their partners , I think the gamers are very unhappy with themselves probably are intimidated and very jealous of their partners and their kid's abilities in all area's of life. They can't measure up ...

Since the gamer knows deeply inside of himself he is a coward he seeks comfort in a fantasy that lies to him and let's him think he is more than he really is.

Thanks!

posted on Mon, 04/28/2008 - 1:36pm
Fartnog Buttstinkle's picture
Fartnog Buttstinkle says:

What a ludicrous post.

Who declared you the arbiter who decides what is and is not a "real man"? FYI, just as a man can never say what a "true woman" really is, no woman can EVER say what it means to be a man.

posted on Sat, 05/24/2008 - 6:24pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I have very serious concerns about video game addiction -- it's a real thing!

And, World of Warcraft is very attractive to many who have been playing video games for a long time and some people are so attracted to it that it is taking over their lives.

God Bless all of you who are in relationships with gamers and who have adult children who are gamers -- I feel your pain. If you have young children who are playing video games my strong recommendation to you is to do your best to help them have other interst and not let them get overly involved in gaming and never let them see World of Warcraft.

Seek professional help if possible and anyone who says gaming is not addictive, has not done it long enough!

posted on Tue, 05/20/2008 - 12:08pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

My husband is obsessed with Eye of Judgment and has spent thousands on cards. Does anyone know about this game?

posted on Sun, 05/25/2008 - 1:09am
Lord Seth's picture
Lord Seth says:

Yeah, it rocks. A pain in the rear to set up properly but it has interesting mechanics.

tough I don't think he has spent thusands on cards, hundreds maybe, but not thousands.

posted on Wed, 05/28/2008 - 2:44am
Chris W.'s picture
Chris W. says:

I'd choose video games over every single one of you whiny narcissist.

posted on Tue, 05/27/2008 - 4:34pm
mc86_yahoo.com's picture
mc86_yahoo.com says:

Hi everyone,

As i was reading rachael shukert article's comments about her experience with
her husband being addicted to video games(yahoo.com) I ran across a link to this website that someone left on the comentary section of her article. Im shocked that many ppl around the nation are having marital problems because of a game addiction. I was a victim of a gaming addiction. I was shackled by this addiction for 2 years. Every night after work i would come home and play rainbox six online with a couple of buddies over the nation. It was awesome I tell you that but it was so decieving. Sometimes it takes someone outside your own little box to tell you there is something wrong going on with you. So in my case I was fortunate to have a bible believing praying family. My family was concerned about me when they began to notice my addiction. So simply they went to a prayer meeting and in that prayer meeting the LORD gave a revalation to my mother and bro. THe LORD revealed the issue i was dealing with to my family. THat same night as I was coming home to work I was going to my bedroom and to my surprise I see my brother and mother annointing the room with oil and praying over the room. When i saw them i said, " Ok i get the point i'll stop playing. " So i did, I repented and confessed my sin before the LORD and I stopped playing video games. That same night i had a dream. IN the dream i was going into my bedroom when suddenly i was taken by my neck and shoved against the wall. I could not speak or move or see the being who shoved me in the air but it said these words in an angry tone " I will take you and all your family down ". Im not scared but its not video games we are dealing with..its addiction and addiction is a being. Only Christ can break the chains! May the LORD bless you and keep you! email me thanks

posted on Tue, 05/27/2008 - 5:00pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

i am a gamer and i see comments like these alot lately. not meaning to bash but ladies i am probably up all night with your husbands playing world of warcraft. now for my comments to you. it seems there must have been problems in your relationships that caused your spouse to escape into the world of gaming. who's fault it was? who knows but it sure seems like none of you are taking any blame at all. sure you want to talk about it but by the time the person has escaped into the game it might be too late. try and think of what has changed in that persons life or the relationship before they turned to the gaming escape that would be a starting point. was it a lack of attention, affection, problems with the children, money, boredom or the job? i bet if you think back you will solve your own problems in your relationship. i am the proud father of 3 children which i give my undivided attention to while in my care (divorced). i have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for quite sometime and i hear all the complaints of my all hours of the night gaming. she says i am addicted to my game. i told her bring back the attention and affection i use to receive and i would gladly delete all my accounts and destroy the game disk but i guess if i got to live with the cold shoulder then she'll have to live with my gaming

posted on Tue, 05/27/2008 - 6:15pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

as much as I hate to say it, there is a very valid reason for your loved ones to play video games. They find the game to be more interesting. I know that's very hard to deal with, but it's the absolute truth. The game will not complain to him, will not tell uninteresting stories, will provide him with social interactions that doing things with you will never equal. Sorry it had to be said.

posted on Tue, 05/27/2008 - 6:21pm
ALustyAlien's picture
ALustyAlien says:

Wow!!!

All I can say is your husbands are a bunch of selfish idiots, acting like a bunch of 6 year old children. I've been an online gamer since 1998, I've played extensively on many of the MMORPGs out their. Ultima Online, EverQuest and EverQuest 2, City of Heroes, World of Warcraft, to name a few. But I don't let them control my life.

I've got a group of friends that I started playing EverQuest with one night a week. Some of them were co-workers, some of them were friends of co-workers, and we all met online one night a week to play EverQuest. (We called ourselves the "Wednesday Night in Norrath" group, Norrath being the name of the imaginary world that made up the EverQuest "environment." We'd start playing at around 6:00 pm and play for 3 or 4 hours. A few players left the group and other players joined the group and the group continued to play one night a week. The nice thing about the online roleplaying games is that it allowed us to continue our friendships and associations every when members would move around the country.

We don't play EverQuest any more, we've moved on to playing City of Heroes. We've found that it's a lot more flexible in allowing a group to be effective if a couple of members are absent that night because Real World issues don't allow them to play that night.

That's the key... The Real World. These loser spouses (Women can get just as addicted to online games as men.) have put their focus on the wrong priorities. Yes, online games can be a great way to let off a little steam if you've had a rough day at work. But that's no excuse to hop on the computer the moment you come home until the wee hours of the morning night after night, ignoring family.

Unfortunately, I don't know what to tell you to improve your situations with your spouses/fiance'/boy-girlfriend. I'm single, though I do help out my elderly mother who lives in the duplex adjacent to mine. I do her grocery shopping for her, bring in her mail. About once a week or so, we watch old movies (I've got a large collection of DVDs) eating popcorn and sipping martinis. I meet with friends or family and go out to dinner or the movies. I play bridge at the local bridge club and get together with friends one night a week playing Dungeons & Dragons with them. I like to go to BBQs or go camping. Perhaps if I were married, my wife would resent the time I play online. But I don't think so, because I don't make my world revolve around the games I play.

When I am playing online games such as City of Heroes for an extended time, say a rainy Saturday, I do laundry. The people I play with on a regular
basis do something similar. We'll often pause our playing in the middle of the game for a few minutes so that people can put their kids to bed and sing them a goodnight lullaby.

(Yeah, yeah... I know... Right now, a lot of you are going "Awe... That's so sweet.")

The point I'm trying to make is that I'm part of an online gaming group that has been playing one night a week for a little over nine years. We play individually too. Yet we still manage to hold jobs, raise families, share special occasions with friends and family. Don't let these husbands/boyfriends try to tell you that you don't understand their need to blow off steam and this is their way to relax. Nobody needs 8 hours a day / 7 days a week playing online games to relax.

On the other hand, if he's playing for 2-3 hours at a time a couple of nights a week, cut him a little slack. Even if you do think it's a pointless waste of time, as long as he's maintaining his responsibilities at home, let him play his silly games.

posted on Tue, 05/27/2008 - 8:15pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

have any of you even tried to play a game with your husbands before divorcing them? Have any of you taken the time of the day to try to find some common ground, maybe a game you can both enjoy? Because it sounds to me instead of trying to find them interesting or give them a shot, you are just nagging them about it, which is in turn making them want to play even more.

Video games are no longer just for children as everyone likes to think they are. Hence the reasons they have ratings on the games. Generally when someone gets an addiction its to escape things in real life that they no longer enjoy or, for lack of a better word, like. I don't want to seem rude, but it sounds like the problem is not the game, its your husbands trying to escape you. maybe he just isnt happy anymore? Yes i do think there is such a thing as a video game addiction, i have been addicted to my fair share of games (and i am female btw) but they never interfered with my relationships unless i was unhappy in the relationship to begin with.

posted on Tue, 05/27/2008 - 9:19pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Yes, I know that it is impossible to spend thousands of dollars on Eye of Judgement cards because there are two measly expansion packs for a total of less than 200 dollars. It's an interactive card game, why don't you just ask you husband what it is, maybe he can show you how to play and you might even have some fun.

posted on Tue, 05/27/2008 - 9:56pm
Random Gibberish's picture
Random Gibberish says:

I have played various games for about 26 years now and have gone through various stages of addiction. I remember for me the worst time was in the early 90's when i was at university, with my Amiga plugged into the internet, got completely addicted to online gaming.

A few years ago in my last relationship i was like a few guys you are talking about. My partner would watch tv downstairs, i'd play games upstairs. Then at about 11:30pm, she'd come upstairs and say she was going to bed, i'd give her a peck on the cheek and that was it. About 1am i'd go to bed too.

The problem here was that i hated watching tv (It made me feel like my brain was melting out of my ears) and she hated games (they are for kids) meaning our evenings were very rarely spent together.

So, when i came to my next relationship, i vowed to make sure it was different. Games for me now are 'what to do, if there is nothing else to do.' If my gf wants to watch soaps, i'll game, if she shops online, i'll game, but i try as hard as i can to come up with stuff we can do together. As most tv for me is mind-numbing, i identified various shows that interested me, and downloaded the first episode (yes, i'm bad). If we liked it, i'd get the series and we'd watch it together. So far we have watched Dexter, Pushing Daisies, Chuck etc... When she goes to bed, i go to bed. Ok, she reads a book, i play my DS with the sound off, but we talk lots. Also, if she ever wants to do anything and i'm gaming, i stop gaming.

From her side, she is in control, she decides when we do stuff (i don't really mind as i fill in the gaps between with gaming anyway), and i'm the one who spends all the time downloading stuff for us to watch cuddled up on the sofa. From my side, i get my gaming fix, and she understands this and often says 'ok, off you go to game'. It's a good balance.

The most ironic thing now, is that my gf is addicted to NCIS and Bones (Which i'm not keen on). Whenever i download an episode she HAS to watch it right away whatever the time of day, she has sessions of watching episodes until 4am some days, and I have gone to bed while she is downstairs watching it. I have therefore had to say to her what i have said to myself. 'Everything in moderation'. So, she has her 'alone time' and i have mine.

I expect many of the women on this forum are anti-games, they always come across as nagging, and they don't try and take part in the pastime. the solution i would give you is set aside pre-defined periods of time for gaming. As long as you say 'gaming is fine, do it between these hours', i think you'll get a much better response.

The real problem occurs is for those addicted to games like WoW where they have to be online at a certain time for X hours to complete a certain mission with 10 of their friends.Setting a specific time for that isn't as easy as it won't match all the other player's time. So perhaps you say 'ok, you can do X raids a week' as i doubt they do one every day/night.

I make computer games, and games are not evil. Millions of people play them every day, and only a small percentage of people get addicted to them.

Come at the problem from the same side as your partner. Why are they playing them? Are they bored with normal evenings? Do they need an escape after work?

Then work out a halfway house. Limited hours, tell them how you feel without sounding like you are nagging. Use 'us' and 'we' and not 'I' and 'you'. It is not 'his' problem it is 'your' problem.

As my friend told me a few weeks ago, you don't need to argue in a relationship, you are not on opposing sides, you are on the same side. If you can work out WHY he always wants to game, perhaps you can work out how to solve that problem.

Anyway, hope that helps,

Good Luck...

posted on Wed, 05/28/2008 - 8:03am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Here's an excelent video game design article about how to make games more addicting: http://www.gamasutra.com/features/20010427/hopson_01.htm

posted on Wed, 05/28/2008 - 8:36am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Hi ladies,
I want you to know that I grew up w/ a dad addicted to a text-based online computer game (this was obviously many years ago). He worked out of town a lot, then came home to play the game constantly. My mom went through the same thing you are, and I didn't even consider him a dad b/c he was never around. The good news is that eventually it did stop! I don't know exactly what happened, but my guess is mom threatened to kick him out enough times and he woke up. I think he was very unhappy for some reason and the game was a distraction from that. He played the game less and less until it was finally gone. Now we have a great relationship. I like playing video games (as does my husband), and it is a fun hobby for us rather than an addiction. So have hope, there are families out there who go through this and survive! Good luck to all of you.

posted on Wed, 05/28/2008 - 8:49am
Candice_318's picture

GUITAR HERO IS THE BEST IM ADDICTED! AND IMMA GIRL!!

posted on Wed, 05/28/2008 - 9:35am
MrBig621188's picture

this seems totally one sided to me do you know how many women play video games as well? Maybe not as many as men but they still do the point is you need to learn control no matter who you are if its cause your bored get a hobby or hang out with friends join a community sport or something and if your married or in a relationship unplug the dam cord have a civil discussion and if that doesn't work good luck

posted on Wed, 05/28/2008 - 9:55am
Kip's picture
Kip says:

It seems that many of the people in this comment thread are basically saying:

"Our marriage is failing because my husband spends all his time gaming."

From my experience, the reality of the situation is actually this:

"My husband spends all his time gaming because our marriage is failing."

From every single story I've read here, along with my own experiences and those of friends and family, if it wasn't games it would be something else (fishing, working in the garage, hanging out with friends in a bar, etc). It appears that these are relationships where the people involved simply don't have many common interests, and so each person will start to gravitate away from the other person and towards their own interests.

As an aside, to the women who say "he was so sweet and charming before!", that's because he was still trying to hook up with you.

posted on Wed, 05/28/2008 - 12:21pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Just some thoughts for consideration...I can understand both sides of the situation for the gamer and for someone who loves a gamer. I totally agree with what many of you have said which is that for some it is an "addiction" and for some it is not, and there is a BIG difference between the two. For someone who just loves games and limits their time to it while still carrying out life, responsibilities and shared time with loved ones, gaming is not any bigger deal than loving to shop or read magazines or curl up with a good book for a few hours. But for someone who games so many hours a day that they neglect to shower, neglect their work or work "less" in order to game "more, that they become irritable to loved ones who interrupt the game, that they neglect children's and spouse's needs to engross themselves in the game-- there is a problem going on whether we name it as an addiction or not.

I also agree with many of you who have mentioned that the second kind of gamer usually had "issues" before or outside of gaming such as insecurity or whatever, and that if they didn't game it would prolly be something else instead. The game does feed the ego, as levels are attained and as mentioned "newbies" look up to you because you are the one who is accomplished and successful in the game. And to me, that's where the problem comes in, because the game fills those needs for security and ego in a "false" world, while leaving the "real" world which is more difficult to be successful in to fall by the wayside. It is challenging to love a real spouse (who gets cranky at times just as you do) and to do a real job (where the boss doesn't always shower you with praise) and to clean up around the house (where it just has to be done again all over the next day). As opposed to a game where there is IMMEDIATE GRATIFICATION.

And this is where some of you have also mentioned the issue of "selfishness" relating to hard core gamers, the ones who neglect real life. Maybe not selfishness but the difficulty or inability to delay gratification to see results in real life where it takes more time to develop and where there are more "real world" obstacles. For someone who has this problem on top of insecurity it is always going to be easier to escape into the fake world than to deal with the real. And to get out of that pattern may require some serious intervention and help and some looking at the underlying issues that truly created the problem in the first place.

This is where I disagree with those of you who say that the spouses on this blog are "nags" or just haven't "paraded around naked enough". To blame the spouse is ridiculous-- what if you turn the tables (since more gamers tend to be men) and your wife spent 8-10 hours a day on her "hobby" (whatever it was- shopping, reading, watching the telly, making a better avatar onlineat some website or even gaming herself) to the point where she neglected you, she neglected to make meals, she neglected to come home till 2 in the morning or holed herself up in her room till 1 am and never came to bed with you, or just gave you one word grunts whenever you tried to talk to her, or "forgot" to shower for a week because she was so caught up in the game, or neglected family events or to ever go out with you and look good on your arm because there was a "raid" that night she just couldn't miss, and then that paycheck she brought in stops coming because she quit/lost her job and doesn't really care about getting another one because the hobby or online gaming just fills too much of her time to bother....Are you going to blame YOURSELF?!!! for not walking around naked enough? or for not cuddling with her enough? or for not meeting her needs or if you just try harder one more time after years of trying to get through that maybe this time you can reach her?

And this is what many of the women on this site have been trying to say...that many of them have been trying for days, months, YEARS to reach their loved ones. At first they did walk around naked, and ask nicely for help around the house, or cuddle up next to their loved one "hoping" he would notice, they've gone to bed without them night after night and even though missing their loved one "just tried to be okay with it"....some of them for YEARS.....don't you think they are tired? don't you think some of them have given all and lost hope? It is very much like the wife of the alcoholic who tried everything to get the chaos and craziness to stop and yet he went and got another drink, another game, and her pleas for love and intimacy and a HEALTHY, normal relationship fall again on deaf ears.

I'm not saying this for those "normal" gamers who have healthy lives, but for those it is excessive. And I'm not saying the wives should nag, in fact they should stop because is the nagging stopping the behavior? Usually no. But to blame them for the problem is wrong-- an "addicted" gamer has to be willing to look at his/her behaviour and WANT to change, WANT to risk to reenter the real world as scary as it may be at times, and WANT to quit behaviour that is damaging to themselves and their family. And all their spouses are trying to do is to ALERT them that DAMAGE IS TAKING PLACE, and begging to the gamer PLEASE help us!! And I feel that is totally valid. There are some gamers who did just that, who became more healthy who wrote in to this blog and I applaud you for taking a stand to make things better for you and your family!!! I wish everyone else would consider how life is passing them by and do the same....

posted on Wed, 05/28/2008 - 6:07pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Hi,

Thank you so very much for you post ! It is helpful to read something so well written that describes without anger the reality of what we are all dealing with here.

For me it's the end of the Road for my 11 year Marriage 6 of which HE in his LATE FORTIES spent on the Computer this is all ending with BANKRUPCY, FORCLOSURE and DIVORCE. All of the papers are filed ..

I am taking responsibility for my own actions or lack of now but I should have done years ago.

If your gamer stops caring about you and your children won't talk to you about anything anymore just make sure you don't expect him to be responsible for your financial well being either.

If he is too controlling about your finances TOO BAD check everything out on your own.

I tried really hard probably too hard to keep our family together but by accepting the neglect and tolerating the disrespectful manner in which he treated me and my son and our life I in fact caused at least half of the tragedy .

If I am honest the man I married left me years ago no amount of love or attention anger or tears ever brought him back to us. I don't think it was an accident or a mistake I believe it was his Choice.

I really lost sight of myself in all of the pain and disappointment and now have to stand up to the consequences of trusting and believing in someone else more than myself.

In checking on his addiction I did find several sites on Co Dependency that brought to light for me that his Addiction became my Obsession accept that I convinced myself I somehow deserved the mistreatment. Clearly I should have recognized this on my own but I did not.

If your family is suffering I hope you will consider SWALLOWING your PRIDE put aside the SHAME and EMBARRASMENT and seek the HELP and DIRETION needed from your FAMILY , CHURCH or COUNCELOR .

For me I held on FAR TOO LONG doing it on my own I finally STARTED TALKING asked for the HELP I needed and now I AM WALKING for the first time in a long time I feel Strong, Attractive and Alive . Broke but ALIVE !!

It would have been nice to have the HAPPY ENDING but maybe for me AND MY SON just getting OUR LIFE BACK is THE HAPPY ENDING.

Best To All !!

.

posted on Thu, 05/29/2008 - 1:54pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Ok, so I've read a lot of these comments and something seems to pop up a lot... the "men" are always the ones with the problem, and no matter how hard you nag, scream, complain, they never seem to answer. And then a divorce happens, because of "video games".

Yeah, right.

Video games can be addicting. I would know, I once spent two straight hours trying to beat Dead on Arrival on Rock Band. But this isn't a heroin-level addiction. This isn't a coke-level addiction. Hell, this isn't even an alcohol-level addiction. Video games are a way to blow off steam, and are generally pretty enjoyable.

So, basically, let's turn the situation around. If you're doing something you enjoy doing, like knitting or reading or something, and we come up and SCREAM and NAG and COMPLAIN about how you're not spending time with us, how would that make you feel? Annoyed? Ticked off? Probably. And that's the problem. Learn what video games are BEFORE you go off on a rant about how evil they are and how they're the coming of the Anti-Christ and they caused your divorce.

And, as a final bit, I've been going out with my girlfriend for two years now. We both enjoy playing video games (mostly Guitar Hero or Rock Band) or MMORPG's, because I introduced her to them.

posted on Wed, 05/28/2008 - 6:21pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

One other thing I have to add is that many of the spouses who wrote in ARE in pain-- and it is real! Right or wrong, they have spent years taking up the slack in relationships and families where their spouse for all intents and purposes is dead to the family-- except he's breathing in front of a computer alive to an alternate community of people but not her it feels like. That's gonna lead someone to feel alone, tired and likely hopeless over a long period of time. Many of these spouses have tried everything the nice way for a long time and are finally at the end of their rope and now THEY need help, possibly treatment themselves! Its crazy!! No one person can shoulder all the responsibilties of home and work and marriage alone! Plus the rejection can feel horrible-- that this person you loved and made vows to continually CHOOSES an alternate reality over a real one with you. Some gamers had gaming "addictions" before they married their current spouse so how can it be her fault alone? Some of them lied to her telling her they didnt game much before marriage and then when the vows are said she has to carry the burden of family life without much active participation of the person she's supposed to be closest to in the whole world? Sometimes the gamer has a series of failed relationships before her due togaming or other addictions and a difficulty being close to those in front of his face.... Yet he fails to connect his excessive gaming and failure to share responsibilities in life with an equal partner as contributing to relational difficulties. Most women on this blog would probably be happy if their spouse even put aside gaming to participate in life t
30% of the time--many excessive gamers are completely checked out of life to the point where the spouse is carrying 90-100% of the household/ intimacy load and NO ONE is or should have to be strong enough for that--- you'd go stark raving mad!!!! Thus the frequent talk of the need ( even tho not desired by them) for divorce even tho they still love their spouse... What else can they do if their cries for help forum their spouses have fallen on deaf ears for YEARS?!!! And just as in any relationship where one person neglects responsibility and the other takes up the slack... He will blame her for leaving. Yet if she had stopped listening to him and meeting his needs to keep the household going he probably would have left her long ago to find someone else willing to support him in his " habit". Its d
sad but its happened too many times....

posted on Wed, 05/28/2008 - 7:28pm
Kip's picture
Kip says:

To be clear, it's not that I think that the women in these stories aren't trying enough, or should parade around more, or that any possible nagging is the cause, or anything like that.

As someone else above mentioned, let's say that all video games and consoles suddenly go away in a puff a smoke... do you REALLY think that your marriage will then be like you want it? As I said in my other post, the other person in this situation will simply find another hobby to spend their time on because:

The gaming is a *symptom*, not a *cause*.

I think once people understand that, then they can move forward to try to fix the marriage. If you see the gaming as the *cause* of the failure of your marriage, I think you'll only end up being frustrated, as we see in the posts in this comment thread.

Also, to be clear, when I make the point that "your husband is playing games *because* your marriage is failing (and not the other way around)", I'm not laying blame on the women. I think the blame is most likely on both individuals, and not necessarily 50/50.

In short, it seems to me that these people are a mismatched couple, much like my own parents were. That's not a value judgment; simply an observation.

posted on Thu, 05/29/2008 - 3:31pm
I play WoW alot's picture
I play WoW alot says:

i play wow alot, and i have one thing to say... wtf?

posted on Thu, 05/29/2008 - 10:23pm
Old Fart's picture
Old Fart says:

woooooot for videogames!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wooooot!

posted on Fri, 05/30/2008 - 11:19pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I would like to think that it is an addiction. Mostly because I would like to believe that my husband has this addiction and that he doesn't just simply prefer his games to our relationship. I guess ignorance is not always bliss. My husband has always been into games and on the computer. I assumed this was because he was alone for a large part of his adult life and it just filled the time. When we were dating, the first time I visited his house, I was sitting on his bed and his back was to me and he was chatting online with friends. That should have been a huge flag. I told him I was leaving so he could focus more on his virtual friends, he stopped, begged me to stay and apologized. This same scenario has repeated itself over and over during our five years of marriage. I was recently out of town for almost a week and when I got back, we went to eat and we had been home 5 minutes and he said he wanted to go out and play his game. It hurt so bad that he would rather do that than hear about my trip or just spend time with me. My husband has a wonderful heart and is capable of great love and I would like to think that it was the addiction that was pulling him away from me. Like other women, I walked around naked and he never took his eyes of the monitor. I have tried to understand that this is his hobby and be supportive but his playing is horribly excessive. He does work and provide a home for us but his free time is spent playing the games. It hurts horribly because I want for him to choose to spend time with me and instead, he has to be guilted into it. When we do spend time together, as soon as we are home, he is playing the game. I am sensitive enough to realize that he obviously couldn't wait to get back at it. We work opposing shifts so he has plenty of free time available to play when I am not around and he does. We spend very few hours together and it hurts horribly that he wants to use those hours too to play. I don't know so much if it is an addiction or just a selfish joy for a man who doesn't want to spend time with his wife anymore. I guess it's easier to believe its an addiction and except that this is what I have for a relationship unless he decides to change.

posted on Sun, 06/01/2008 - 6:19am
Gene's picture
Gene says:

A psychiatrist in Britain is claiming that internet addiction meets the clinical definition of a psychiatric illness and should be classified as a disease.

posted on Sun, 06/22/2008 - 3:57pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

In rare cases I am sure this would be indicative of some sort of psychiatric illness as would many over ambitious uses of media.

posted on Sun, 06/22/2008 - 4:03pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Hmmm..... I find it very telling that the individuals who are describing their experiences with addicted gamers write intelligently and articulately, whereas the majority of those that deny that such an addiction exists or that it is the spouses fault are practically illiterate and literally sound moronic. ( With answers like " I play wow alot, and i have one thing to say... wtf?" and "woooooot for videogames!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wooooot!", we really need to consider the source - addicted subgrade morons that are too lazy and stupid to ever be in positions of power in our society luckily, and they are just being played as pawns by the companies that make millions from all the idiots just like them!) For the others that blame the spouses they are also the ones that would justify and deny giving someone a black eye , by saying the person shouldn't have run into their fist. They sound abusive and purely cold at best.

posted on Thu, 07/24/2008 - 12:59am
JGordon's picture
JGordon says:

Well... it should be noted that a lot of video game enthusiasts and a lot of the folks who comment on Science Buzz are, in fact, kids. We (even kids) should all try to be more sensitive to the pain of others, but in this case "subgrade morons" might be a little harsh.

I doubt that anyone here would truly condone or excuse physical or emotional abuse. It's making quite a leap to judge any one of the described situations here from a three paragraph bog comment. So it's good to take one can from them, or offer support, but probably no one can really act like they know what's going on in another person's relationship.

Something like that, anyway.

posted on Thu, 07/24/2008 - 11:56am
JGordon's picture
JGordon says:

Hey, also, I take issue with another thing here—

I don't think anyone can be too lazy or stupid to be in a position of power in our society.

posted on Thu, 07/24/2008 - 11:58am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

wow. these comments went on for an entire year.

im tired of "intelligent" people using big words to talk down to people.

i am a gamer. i have video game designing friends. i used to hang out with gamers every thursday night at college. but i got married and had a family. i still play, just not so much.

my husband is addicted. call it what you will but he can not stay logged off of ffxi for a full 24 hours. he doesnt pay attention to our son. there is also another baby on the way.

his excuse is, "im distracting myself". ive talked to him too much about it already. the last time i confronted his therapist about it, she called it depression from losing his father.... which was 10 years ago. he was great before he picked up the game again. he never used to act like such an ass before. now all he does is get frustrated with everything from changing a diaper to eating a meal with me without a piece of technology on. and sex? HA! im horny as hell!

midlife crisis? hes 25!

there is no gamer i know that would deny sex!

im not blaming the games. im not bagging on gamers. i know i have bad grammer and whatnot.

i just need to know, how can i fix this? i even tried playing with him. ugh!

posted on Sun, 08/10/2008 - 7:41pm
Gamers are Selfish and Immature's picture
Gamers are Selfish and Immature says:

YOU cannot fix this, only the gamer can. The "intelligent" people are on your side. Frankly, I don't see any "big" words in this blog. Maybe those obsessed with gaming should pick up a book and read instead? These comments are frightening as a portent for the way our society is heading. If you don't understand certain words how about using a dictionary?? Gamers - How about spending your free time doing volunteer work for kids with cancer or finding homes for animals that will otherwide be killed in shelters? These gamers and those with tolerance for the addicts of them are just part of the dumbing down and selfishness of our society. How about expecting rising up to intelligence? People should not have to limit their vocabulary because others don't want to increase theirs. Also, I agree with the comment that it is mainly kids or those with a child's maturity level that are excusing or supporting non-stop gaming.

posted on Tue, 08/19/2008 - 11:12pm
NES freak's picture
NES freak says:

I would simply say that if a person is at home playing a video game it's alot better than being out with the "buddies" doing God knows what.

posted on Sun, 08/31/2008 - 7:28pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Well I know I'm addicted and began breaking the addiction/habit. My girlfriend tells me she feels like a mother than a lover. Like I'm her child not her boyfriend. I basically opened my eyes to the problem. I admitted to myself I am addicted. I used to draw, I used to write. Now I don't. Video games are a problem but my advice is to not throw it away. Don't go cold turkey. Just use the time for something else. I'm trying as hard as I can.

posted on Tue, 09/02/2008 - 3:51pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

OMG...........there are so many wives like me, game widows. How pathetic, to be moms, wives, left with the house, the yard (yes ladies if I didnt mow the lawn I'd be in a fileld of weeds), going to bed alone, boy I know how that one is.
I mean, how degrading to me to have actually gone to such measures as to parade naked in front of him and get no response? Any of you been through that before?
We did counseling, and our counselor wonders if "he" would just be totally addicted to the webpages, the gaming, and the net if I were not here. The ONLY reason he does anything other than gaming is because I nag so fucking much (which is not how I really am or ever was before).
Wow. I'm at my end too.
Should we all gather together and host and Xbox 360 smashing party? Anyone in?

posted on Wed, 09/03/2008 - 11:46pm
go-gulf's picture
go-gulf says:

I must say that Xbox 360 makes my children happy. Before that we are using computer for games. I also like to play games with my children. Recently I buy game DOM III for PC, and know looking for more adventures game. Hallo 3 is very famous over the internet and is not available on PC. So we buy Xbox 360 and since that we never play games on PC. We play war in conflict and other interesting games

posted on Sun, 09/07/2008 - 12:51pm
Edward's picture
Edward says:

Hi everyone. I'm definately in the minority here, because you are all women with gaming men. My wife is the gamer, she plays WOW. She started out a few years ago with little stand alone games, but progressed to Sims2 and now WOW. Her gaming became a serious problem last summer while I was deployed overseas. The kids were being neglected, as well as myself. The house was a disaster. I wasn't home to "fix" it anymore, so it got out of control. When I was able to contact her on the phone, she was gaming and gave me a fraction of her attention. My mother intervened (she lives in Hawaii and was only visiting)and cleaned up the home, then my wife was taken to talk with my military reserve chain of command (I was due to take leave the next week, with the intention of helping her clean up the house again). She agreed to counseling, but had no real intention of going. Like all the other folks with this problem, the addict never thinks that they have a problem. So why get counseling? I came home for leave and my wife was mad because all these people were "against" her, and I'm stuck between everyone. Nevertheless, the gaming started again after my mom left. I was left to enjoy my leave taking care of everything at home and the kids while she played games as much as she could. We had to put our two and four year olds in full time daycare (even though my wife doesn't work and hasn't for our nine year long marriage). The military folks asked for that, to give her more time to get daily chores done at the house. I think that she had not revealed to everyone what the true cause of the choas was, that most of her waking hours were spent on computer games and very little on the children and home. They thought she was depressed, she repeatedly told me that she wasn't. She really wasn't depressed, she just wanted to escape to her fantasy game world all the time. After my leave, we were investigated by CPS for child abuse. They couldn't prove the abuse allegatons, but it was still a big scene with many people involved. I felt embarassed and ashamed. How could my wife do this to my kids and me? Well, the gaming hasn't stopped. And I had an affair while I was overseas. That effectively has ended our communication, because she uses it against me to justify her gaming. OK, I'm guilty of infidelity. I gave up, got drunk and gave in. And I still don't regret it. So what about the kids? They are innocent, haven't wronged anyone and NEED parents. How can you turn away from them to a high priced toy box every damn day? But I've come to realize that she's not going to control her gaming unless she decides to. She's not going to do it for me or the kids, and not even her own well being. So I've been living with the reality of being a "married" single dad, but what really gets me is that my kids have to live with an empty shell for a mother. They rely on her for almost nothing, because that's what she gives to them. What would I give to have one of the cast aside women from the previous posts as a wife and mother of my kids? I can only dream of that. I want a divorce, but I don't want the drama that's going to go along with it. I can't live like this for much longer. I want more for myself, and for my kids. Thanks for listening...

Edward

posted on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 3:46am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

no it cant be addicting beause u can have fun

posted on Sat, 10/18/2008 - 1:31pm
JustLikeYou's picture
JustLikeYou says:

Hi Everyone,

I've read a lot of the comments on this blog and I am similarly going through the same issues with my husband. We are currently in counselling (for other marriage issues) and I started initiating talk to the counsellor about his addiction, and told him I would be bringing it up next session. In my opinion, a lot of our marriage problems are a result of not spending time together and I now see gaming as the "other woman" in his life, taking up our time together. I"m therefore going to bring it up fully at the next session and of course he may try to deny it but I've already warned him I will do it. We're at an impasse until the next session.

To those women who have divorced their husbands due to excessive gaming addiction - I say good for you. Unfortunately, you have to think of yourself when it gets that severe, like ANY addiction.

To those considering divorce - I suggest counselling. For you alone so you can get peace of mind and sound advice from a professional. If the husband/wife is willing, go together: that's the best option.

To those with children - My sympathies. I understand that having children complicates things further because the option of divorce is even less appealing (ie breaking up the family). However, considering the quality of life and attention your children are getting from your addicted spouse, not to mention the fact that he's serving as a negative role model to them, it's in everyone's best interest to do what's in your marriage's best interest. In other words - go for counselling, and try everything but don't leave out divorce as an option.

Good luck everyone and may we all have productive and healthy relationships in our lives.

posted on Wed, 10/29/2008 - 6:17pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Hi All. People definately can become addicted to this, obsessive/compulsive may be just as good a term. My husband's gaming has increased over our 14 year marriage, with a few minor decreases--just enough to give me hope and produce a few kids. He currently plays between 10 and 12 hours a day. Recently he had a period of several weeks playing 14-19 hours a day. He's played computer games, Nintendo, xbox. Kind of like an alcoholic switching from beer to wine. His health, physical and mental, has declined. As most of you mentioned, he minimizes the effect his gaming has on our family and has potential to become volatile if interrupted. I can honestly say I've tried everything to help him, myself, and our marriage become healthier. So now the only healthy option is divorce, because living with this is miserable for all of us, and my kids deserve better--I deserve better.
And, at this point I am enabling him, because I try to keep things normal for the kids' sake. As long as I do that he can tell himself things are not so bad. Food for thought to the rest of you.
I put you in my prayers and ask for yours in return.

posted on Tue, 01/20/2009 - 12:49am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Look, Gaming can be an addiction. Especially when playing the online games that make you feel like you are in another life in which you have more confidence. It's just like actors playing a role. The problem is, some people can't stop playing the role. It really saddens me to read so many of these comments saying DIVORCE, DIVORCE, DIVORCE! The problem with marriage in our society these days is the simple fact that it is so easy to just give up on a marriage. Get married, unhappy for a little while, get a divorce. Instead of speaking up and being entirely truthfull to one another, we immediately start looking for a way out or even a scare tactic to fix the situation. While on person may not enjoy video games at all, the other may really enjoy them. I know some people see them as a stress reliever and a way to wind down. The issue is time spent. Getting incredibly upset about your significant other playing a game in excess isn't going to make him/her stop playing. There is also the possibility that the one not playing games doesn't pay much attention to the other as well. It may not be a video game or tv. It may be a book, work, or a hobby that the other doesn't enjoy.

There is no way that two people are going to enjoy absolutely everything that the other does. However, sometimes they just have to try it. I.E. play the video game or watch and show a little interest, read a book together and talk about it, go walking together (even if you hate it), ect. Part of vowing to spend the rest of your life together is understanding that it will not always be a cake walk and you sometimes have to go out of your comfort zone.

So instead of jumping to a drastic measure, like divorce, try understanding what it is that your significant other enjoys about the game/book/hobby and why. Show that you do accept them, and talk. Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. You have to open up to each other or you will never make it.

I hope that those of you who have written with the mindset of Divorce will take a second look at things and actually try marriage before ending it.

God Bless

posted on Fri, 10/31/2008 - 8:38am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

My fiance is an computer game addict, from he wakes up tills he goes to bed. He is 29 an in university but flunked two classes this semester because of it. Myself im a very serious person, I have a bachelor in nutrition and are working on my masters. But we have a difficult time because he cant realize his an addict.
I wish there would be some support group for this.
I dont know what to do really. I love him but there are so many things he does that are really annoying.
When we first started dating he was in his first year of uni, and promised to be done. But now four years later his not anywere because of this addiction, chain smoking. I try my best to make things work but the air is slowly going out of me. I look at myself as a fairly patient person, and i know nobodys perfect.
But this has really gone to far. I dont even know why im putting up with this. I guess besides from his addiction we have a lot in common but the last two years this addiction has taken over his life. That has caused marriage plans to be put on hold from my side. So your not alone ladies.

God bless yaaalll

posted on Mon, 01/05/2009 - 10:06pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Online gaming is the form of Internet addiction that is rapidly growing among young people. I suspect my children is at risk from spending too much time online, that’s why I use Internet filtering software Ez Internet Timer . It can stop all children’s on-line activity and block Internet browsers, e-mails, messengers according to my daily schedule

posted on Sat, 01/10/2009 - 3:31pm
Reese Lam Dela Rosa's picture
Reese Lam Dela Rosa says:

well anything that is too much is bad. And according to my research, some of my respondents spend most of their time playing online games/ video games. Sometimes they are playing 15 hours straight and this is something serious. In short, the study essentially concludes that playing computer games excessively actually harms verbal and other types of memory performance by affecting sleep patterns designed to re-calibrate the brain.

posted on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 10:23pm
Hack's picture
Hack says:

I dont believe this, i am a video game freak and im not addicted to it. my nickname is "nerd" I wiz through games so fast that i beat them thats why i dont play them anymore

posted on Thu, 02/19/2009 - 11:44am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

i amnot a video game freek, but i think it could.i know someone that is absessed with the computer.

posted on Thu, 02/19/2009 - 4:18pm
samanthapha's picture

Video games are okay. Not the best, but it's still ok.
it's gets really boring when you play the same thing over
and over again tho.

posted on Thu, 02/19/2009 - 5:38pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I hate Halo 3.My husband is cheating on me with a girl he meat on halo 3.

posted on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 5:19pm
Holden's picture
Holden says:

I think video games can hook you because their so fun and a lot of people can get hooked.Sometimes people have more games than 30 they are going to be hooked up for mostley their whole entire life.I am glad i only play video games 1 or 4 times a week.I have told tons and tons of people not to play video games,but none of them took my edvice because their to hooked.I wish some day that the president or somebody or something can say only do video games on the weekeneds and then people can do their homework and play outside.

posted on Sat, 02/28/2009 - 2:57pm
Holden's picture
Holden says:

My friend kept on saying in school videogames are the best keep on playing and your life would not be a diasaster and i tryed my heart out to make him stop, but he was to hooked.I mean i might play 2 times a week, but they were to hooked.

posted on Fri, 03/06/2009 - 12:35am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

my husband is addicted to games. ESPECIALY halo 3. we have a good relationship and always have, but i can NOT stand this anymore. the relationship is good because i dont nag. but i cant hold it anymore. from the moment he gets home, and every moment of spare time, to the point where i literlaly get time with him ONE night a week for maybe, 3 hours, if even at all once a week. and to the point where he will just let our 7 month old son scream on the floor, cause he is in the middle of online gameplay and cant pause blah blah blah. it is rediculous. i do everything, and he cant do anything but go to work and come home and game. he does NOT spend any fun time with the baby at all. he makes him lay there and watch games. and cry and whine. and yells at both of us when we bother him. it is terrible. and he is such a kind wonderful guy and CAN be a GREAT husband and great dad, he chooses not too because games. he goes through spurts too, when a new game comes out, i reallllllly dont see him at all then. i even tried having him atleast sit next to me while he was playing, but he wont because he cant see, even though we have a 52" screen and the couch is maybe 10 feet from it, if even. yeah, right. and he feels he is entitled to do it cause he should be able to do something fun cause he goes to work everyday, boohoo, like every other adult has too, and like I WORK, and still do all the house stuff. sad part is i love games too. i really do. but i dont have time to play because there are other priorities that come first. like my son, and the house, fixing food, and trying to spend time with him. this is so rediculous and he thinks its not a problem. and he loves me VERY much, very much, and is scared to lose me, and says how much he needs me, yet he can NOT break this addiction. its sad, i was always happy he never drank or smoked or did drugs, ever, he hates all those things, and doesnt go out with people, he is a hermit. but instead i deal with this. i tried to let it go and tried to just do little things to maybe help him understand but this is out of control. 7 days a week the games get, and his son and i get, NONE. its really old. i do NOT want a divorce, and he especialy doesnt either. but i dont know what to do. he is bringing his xbox with him on OUR FAMILY vacation in a week! we are leaving to go visit my grandma and mom, in missouri for a family trip, and going to be going to do recreational things, take baby to the zoo, go to the park, ect. and he is taking games. i just cant fight to share time with games, when obviously im not winning LOL. i KNOW he loves me VERY much and he thinks our relationship is wonderful, and it IS from his side. i am happy, but this is just out of hand and dont want it to go any farther and need to do something, before our son is old enough to realize daddy is choosing games over us!

posted on Sat, 03/07/2009 - 4:55pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

If you can't beat em.. join em.

posted on Tue, 03/10/2009 - 2:35pm
Roosevelt81's picture

All things are great in moderation. It's an addiction when something adversely effects other aspects of a person's life - Which it sounds like it is in many cases here. Consider family counseling or having a discussion with a clergy person on setting family & life priorities. Good luck.

posted on Tue, 03/10/2009 - 4:35pm
penguin55352's picture
penguin55352 says:

video games are not that addicting i play runescape and if i play to much i get bored and lose interest

posted on Sat, 03/28/2009 - 7:21pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Yes and some people can have one drink without going into a binge and the ones who are addicted can't. I like to play games too, I play guitar hero with our 6 year old son a few times a week. However, my husband plays WoW everynight as soon as he gets home from work until around 3 or 4 in the morning. He is a computer tech, so he also plays all day at work. That my friend IS addicted.

posted on Sun, 04/05/2009 - 11:29am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

why don't you get some fresh air? have some fun, play
with your friends or read a book

posted on Sun, 03/29/2009 - 12:24pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Video games are soooooo not addicting! I play runescape and World of Warcraft and Legend of Zelda and Halo I, II and III and Star Wars video games all the time, but it is not addictive at all!!!!!! Video games rock!!!!

posted on Sun, 03/29/2009 - 2:27pm
Dottie585878's picture
Dottie585878 says:

Video games aren't addicting. Sometimes. It's only if you go overboard with it. Goodbye.

posted on Sun, 03/29/2009 - 6:22pm
Lonely Girl on the Edge's picture
Lonely Girl on the Edge says:

I too feel like my world has come crashing down around me. We used to do things together and be active...now I end up sitting on the couch watching TV shows and starting at the back of his head while he plays EVE. I sleep alone, I eat dinner alone some nights, he sleeps all day and is up all night, he's ruining our relationship and he does not even see it. I am ready to move on with my life as I cannot sit and wait around for him to grow up and begin to progress into the next stage of life. His immaturity and lack of concern for "us" is slowly killing me.

posted on Sat, 04/18/2009 - 6:18am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

This is very addictive! Ever heard of world of war craft? This has caused much strain on my marriage. My husbands family members (men and women both) also play video games for hours on end. My family- not so much. Could this be genetic?

posted on Sun, 05/10/2009 - 5:47pm
Gene's picture
Gene says:

Jane McGonigal of the Institute for the Future gave a talk on games and gaming at the Newseum in Washington, DC. While she doesn't address addiction directly, she does explain that games are deliberately designed to make you happy:

1) They give you a specific task
2) They let you be good at something
3) You spend time with people you like (fellow gamers)
4) You become part of something bigger than yourself

There's a lot of psychological research showing that these are the key elements of happiness, and games deliver them in spades. This may go a long way toward explaining the hold they have on some people.

posted on Fri, 05/15/2009 - 4:17pm
J.Zapp's picture
J.Zapp says:

I am not surpised in the least at what I am reading about these games. My husband and I have been married for almost 10 yrs and we are inches away from a divorce. Sure, the hours and hours a week of game play aren't the ONLY problem, but it's definitely our biggest problem by far. He is in total denial about this-calls me controlling-gets major attitude with anyone that interrupts his game, and to say that I'm sick of it is an understatement. He told me today that he guesses we just won't be together because I won't accept that he plays games. I AM GOING TO GIVE UP if he doesn't put some more effort and carefulness into this marriage. We are weeks away from relocating out of state and I'm having serious second thoughts. The more I type, the more I can see things for how they are and the more angry and pathetic I feel. Could someone tell me...what should I do...I have an 8 yr old and a 4 yr old. I need someone to tell me...SHOULD I LEAVE AND NEVER LOOK BACK?

posted on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 6:14pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

wow, this is ridiculous. But when do people really want to change?what is change even. What else is there to do. Go out, talk about what? if you have kids ok cool, you teach them something hang out with them, but even then having kids is like wtf. I HAVE KIDS? when did this happen? so they play the game. they dont want kids. they were just horny. haha, life is scary, social lives are reduced to almost nothing worth talking about, and comunication between man and women has been reduced to mere lust. people socialize at bars where there just trashing themselves. talking about trashing themselves.

Go where healthy people are, be healthy, and youll find a healthy person.

posted on Mon, 06/15/2009 - 1:49am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

im a pro circuit player for the game halo 3..and i think that your husbands and you women need to sit down, and discuss what his actions is doing to you and your family..if you really want to work it out have a plan of family time..alone time..husband and wife time..other than that if you or your family is still not getting any affection from him...leave him

________

*GECL0NE

posted on Fri, 06/19/2009 - 12:57am
pro215's picture
pro215 says:

I was addicted with online games, i tried to give up many times, but ended up playing other new n improve game.

It has been going on for at least 8 years, Then one day i read a blog stating that "Online gaming is stupid!." n the blogger stated why n how he want to achieve his plan in the next 4 years after stopping playing games.

That is when i realize it is true for my case as well. N i stop playing online game since.

The thing that i want to say is that the gamer himself cant quit until he see whole picture of what is happening n going to happened if he does not quit from addiction.

This forum is a good source to pass to ur husband/wife if he got game addiction. Ask he/she to read it through, i'm sure it will make a different.

posted on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 10:01pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Playing video games is a great way to interact with different people. But it definetely can get addicting.

posted on Mon, 08/10/2009 - 9:45am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I've also been thinking divorce lately - not the for first time. I already feel like a single parent anyway. If I express my feelings to him, they're met with scoffs and arguments and possibly name calling, plus eventual accusations that I'm never happy. We've been married 10 yrs & been "planning" last 3-4 yrs to move back home to family - mostly for my 2 kids' sakes. The plan was to renovate this house and sell to make $ to move. We planned 6 mths. He's done a lot but 3 yrs later it's still full of unfinished projects. Last weekend we tore out the walls in my dtr's room to replace (he's a pro-drywaller) & 4 days I've been hearing, "I'll do it tomorrow" as he sits and plays. This started before we were married, girls, and never got any better. When kids entered our lives MY life became more complicated with responsibilities kids bring. His didn't. In 2002 we went through bankruptcy & foreclosure because of this. I've watched him lose job after job because he can't get up on time because he stays up late playing. Now he works with a friend doing renos making 1/2 the money he could, because it's easier to leave for work at 10:30am (time to play beforehand), and be home by 4:30 (time to play again). Once the kids are in bed he'll watch 2-3 hrs of recorded Star Trek episodes. No kid-interaction. No help around the house. None of those unfinished projects getting done. Small paychecks with lots of spending on cigarettes, beer and fast food. -- If you aren't married or have kids with a game addict yet, my advice is to get out while you still can.

posted on Thu, 08/13/2009 - 12:44pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

wow, i think many of you unhappy spouses need to decide what to do yourselves. you know the answers to those questions about leaving or staying already, but you aren't totally secure or ready to make them so you ask us, someone, anyone to tell you what to do because then it'll be easier-i did it because someone told me it was best to- kind of thing.

who decided to marry that gamer? did you? how were you feeling then? wasn't there an aspect of his life style that attracted you? are you changed now, such that you can no longer accept that life style? do you want more then he's willing to give? if yes, then go and find it. marriage should not tie you down if you've already realized that it's not working out for you or your children. you made the choice to get married, you can make a new decision to let go or stay. i'd say leave and maybe learn a little lesson about who you might be interested in in the future. because marriage is definitely more than those moments of affection and fuzzy-giggly moments. it's equal respect in each other and has to last. come on! the family is being torn apart by gaming! gaming! you're both letting the family be torn by gaming. it's ridiculous and if the gamer-spouse can't see that, then that person is not gonna be worth it to stay with. until the gamer realizes this itself and changes, nothing you do will change them. and DO NOT let yourself be subjected to such treatment. maybe you feel you don't deserve better, but your children should at least right?

posted on Thu, 08/13/2009 - 6:07pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

that is what is wrong with society today,in that people do not make good choices to begin with and the easy answer is to divorce and start over. What about the collateral damage from your poor choice? Will your children be better off that you ran away rather than fixing the problem. That is why we have unemployment at 10%, because people made poor choices. So poster @ 6:07 -- you are part of the problem and not part of the solution.

posted on Fri, 08/14/2009 - 2:37pm
DO's picture
DO says:

Al-Anon is a great org for anyone involved in an addiction regardless of what it is. Try it, it really works in getting your head straight!

posted on Fri, 08/14/2009 - 1:41pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I would just like to say poeple need to step up and take responsiblity for their actions. Vidoe games arn't ruining their lives, they are. It's an indivudals choice to spend hours a day playing and not doing other things. People need to learn to control themsleves and have a little will power and stop looking for someone else to blame.

posted on Fri, 08/14/2009 - 1:45pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Maybe i can help if you can read my writing i try to do the best i can from my personal experience.

Ok so i have modern war far 2 i use to own ps2 blood money hitman great game but very addicting non stop.

The way games become addicting is simple you get killed and have to come back untill you dont get killed anymore. this is a never ending process your always going to get killed in game play and that just puts up a challenge for people untill they actually give up.

Symptoms from game play are the following and i have talked to other programmers of games and also beta testers for this experience as i also have beta tested games.

1. When your eye starts twitching this is a sign for you to get off and take a break people just dont pay attention to this and continue the process untill a mild head ache arrives. Some people experience also blurry vision the next day but goes away real quick.
This is caused by playing too much. People who wear glasses might think about taking there glasses off for i was told the game adjusted your eyes to the screen when your playing games like halo and blood money and modern war far or any of the call of duty or any doom like game. Which is first person shooters think star tours if you have motion sickness you might want to not play this types of games.

What causes these effects simple the lighting in the game the bombs that go off have seperate light then the light on the ceiling in the game the shoots fired from the rockets in the sky the explosions shooting down a helicoptor. Do test for your self put your head up and see if you get dizzy if you do you proably have some symtopons from game play that you did not know actually have accured from your time of playing these games.

I have experienced stuff in games like eye twitches head ache nausia just light nausia and fatigue but i pl.ay games mopre then eight hours aday i am real gamer but i tell you its not worth it if you go blind or it makes me dizzy all the time or gets me to the point where i cant breathe. I believe games truly have the power to also effect you if you are taking any medication and you play these games more then four hours you can get some side effects. It might be a good thing if you take medication like for alergies like alvert Allegra or other medications to not play games more then eight hours aday.

This might be good for mothers to know and fathers as well. Has it been proven i dont need proof i have my personal experience and i know games when you play for that long this is the only time i have had problems i perfectly healthy do not have any diseases and yet i do wear glasses but it proably from playing games all my life. Also surgar which i ignored being allerigic too causes problems other then that i cant speak for everyone but alot of people are having problem with there eyes now especially older people and younger people too. Its ok to give the game break this is how you get red light on your xbox360 when you play too long.

posted on Sat, 12/19/2009 - 7:37pm
armywife8448's picture
armywife8448 says:

I knew there had to be someone out there who is going through the same thing I am....I just didn't imagine there would be so many other wives who are married to men with addictions to video games. Halo is his game of choice, we even went to counseling a year ago, where the therapist made him destroy the xbox. Life was good for a while, until I went out of town for a couple weeks and he went out and bought one, overdrafting our checking account. Meanwhile it still sits in "his room" (where I am not allowed), he plays 6-8 hours a night, usually starting around 7 pm until 3 in the morning. He passes out on the couch, hasn't slept in our bed for weeks, and needless to say there is no intimacy between us. I thought finding more things to do outside the house would make him miss me, but it's done the opposite, creating more time for him to play. He has gained over 50 pounds, while active duty in the Army. WTF???????? I'm grasping at straws...is there counseling available for people going through these addictions? I don't want to leave my husband, I love him, but I love myself more. I can't stay in this empty marriage because he feels that a mongoose is more fun, whatever that is.

posted on Sun, 12/27/2009 - 11:13pm
JBack's picture
JBack says:

While it saddens me to see people going through such hard times, the root cause of this issue does not seem to be the game itself, but the person sitting behind the keyboard.

You cannot blame a game for supporting a person with an addictive personality. If it was not a video game to supply his or her "need" it would be something else like Drugs, Sex, Books, Work, etc. A subject that does not seem to be brought up a lot in peoples stories of pain is the aspect of codependency.

The definition of codependency is:
a tendency to behave in ways that negatively impacts one's relationships and quality of life. This behavior may characterized by denial, low self-esteem, compliance, and/or control patterns.

Placing the blame on video games will not solve the root of the problem, which is your husbands/wives/girlfriends/boyfriends have addictive personalities which YOU (the posters) are supporting by not making them aware of how they are hurting you and your families.

You (the wives, husbands, boyfriends and girlfriends of gamers) need to sit down with these "game addicts" as you call them, make physical and visual contact, and explain your pain, feelings, and concerns, you need to make them realize what you do to support their personality trait and work and support them to change it, or at least arrive at some sort of compromise.

Marriage is about acceptance and commitment. You accept your husbands and wives for who they are. Their strengths and their faults. You commit yourself to being with them "till death do you part". It is my opinion that most people do not realize what this means. Marriage takes work, it takes effort, it takes patience. It takes the ability for you to shake your head when your husband leaves a stinky fart in the kitchen when he leaves in the morning for work and still love him.

Sit down and talk with them, practice the fine art of communication and make them realize the beautiful things that they miss out on when playing games for 18 hours a day.

Me personally, I play MMORPGs, usually after the kids (5 year old son and a 3 year old daughter) are in bed (after picking them up from daycare, eating dinner with them, and reading books at bed time) and my wife has snuggled onto the couch to watch her favorite shows or catch up with her friends on FaceBook. We sit about 20 feet from each other in the same room and give each other crap about what each other is doing.

Sometimes my play time creeps into the early morning, but I try to not let it. It is something I admit I work on. Though, I don't blame the game, I feel that it is an aspect of my personality.

Games are fun. It is their nature by design, to entertain. Life, sometimes, isn't so entertaining.

When you are given the ability to overcome obstacles in a virtual environment with a crew of people who wish to do the same thing you are, a community is formed. Much like the bloggers of Science Buzz are a community.

I don't see fulfilling the human need to feel "connected" to something or someone to be such a bad thing.

I have made many lifelong relationships with the people that I game with.

I feel that gaming, like others have posted, has "enriched" my life and made me look at things differently. I have a far greater appreciation for physics and ballistics because of games, as well as other scientific principals, as well as a greater understanding of logic and basic math, resource management, the list goes on.

What I don't appreciate is the stigma that is attached to someone who "plays games". As being fat tubs of lard who sit in front of a computer and accomplish nothing.

I hope someday I can help change that perception.

posted on Tue, 12/29/2009 - 2:02pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I dont kno my man is on it every night and when i say every nite i mean it, I play to but not like he does its to the point we set times and he goes beyond his time and says well you can make the time up when you play. Im so ready to leave him and we have kids, we cant talk about the time on there its such a sensitive subject it always turns into a fight. what am i to do

posted on Sat, 01/02/2010 - 6:01pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I think that video games can cause some serious addiction problems. you can get so into it to the point at which you willtell people that you will get off in a minute, but then just keep playing. or so much to the point when u wnt even sleep or eat.

posted on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 12:36pm
Aveyln's picture
Aveyln says:

Video games can be extremely addictive, just not as much as drugs/alcohol. I think they aren't as addictive because drugs/alcohol can make anyone a victim whether they want to be sucked into it or not. With video games, only bored kids or kids/adults that have no life or something like that will get sucked in. With drugs, it can be anyone, life or not, bored or not.

posted on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 1:24pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I agree thats all my bro will do is play video games

posted on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 2:36pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I think that video games are addictive to guys than girls and the best game is rock band.

posted on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 2:42pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Ok, I read through the first half or so of the comments and got tired of reading the same thing over and over. I love video games first of all. However, I am a guy and I am engaged. I live with my fiance and I can be in the middle of something like an online deathmatch in call of duty or in the middle of a raid. She said something to me and I stop playing and you can't pause. I let my character just die over and over. I do things around the house, I even cook most of the times. I have the highest gamerscore on my 360 gamertag of anyone I know, but yet I still find time for everything else. Rather than do what many of the hypocrites here do like watch tv, play some stupid facebook app, check youtube subscriptions, go out getting wasted in a club every other night and killing of millions of brain cells. I play video games. That is my main form of entertainment. The problem, ladies, isn't the video games. It is the fact you picked a crap guy to start with. They already had a deeper problem and video games just happened to give them and out for it. I agree it sucks you had to leave your boyfriend/fiance/husband/whatever because of WoW, but if it wasn't WoW it would have ended up something else more than likely. I am very productive, one of the most productive people I know. You can easily enjoy video games and lead a productive life. It makes me sick that 90% of the people saying gamers are "Non productive" are either;
A: God Fearing Doucherists.
B: Someone who sits and watches T.V. all day and are really only pissed because the video game is blocking you from doing so.
C: Probably yell at your husband all day and so he finds something better to do.
D: Can't turn off the caps lock

Most of these women as stated went into these relationships knowing full well there was a problem. As they admit, but when you do this and have kids and it causes issues. There are people that can help. Call around there are "AA" like groups for gamers. What were some of their old hobbies? Working on cars? Try and invest some money in a project car. Something to keep them busy outside of their video games. Most gamers are also thrill junkies in some way or another and games give them a cheap way of doing so. Put that dude on a roller coaster. Have a family outing to a theme park. Give them a reason to want to enjoy life outside of video games. I have friends who are "addicted" to games according to their wives, but when you get them alone what you find out a lot of the times is they are being treated like crap in their relationship and they don't want to be alone or have to pay alimony or they are scared of being single so rather than divorce they find it easier just to drown out the nagging, ridicule, and other forms of verbal abuse by playing video games and shutting you off. Sorry to say, but it's true in many of the people I know.

posted on Tue, 04/20/2010 - 11:59am
deb1969's picture
deb1969 says:

Excessive video game playing is a major concern, I have had first hand experience with my 14 year old son who has never been a huge lover of sports etc...
He started playing Rune scape and has become so addicted to the game that I have had to enforce a 1 hour a day ban on him. Since playing he had little or no outside involvement in any activities has little contact with peers and has let his schoolwork, hobbies and chores deteriorate. Initially I thought he was just using it as a form of escapism and I let it go thinking he would tire of it, but I was very wrong. I have four computers in my home as I run my own business and I have had to ban the site from two of those computers, because I just can't trust him, it is like a drug addict looking for drugs. The 1 hour ban was the first step but have since denied him access to the internet altogether except for his 1 hour a day, you would be amazed at the abuse he will dish out and the excuses he will make to prevent this from occurring. Unfortunately children do not understand the impact this is having on their lives. I am at a loss of what else to do short of confiscating everything, which I don't believe would be productive anyway, if anyone has had similar problems with their teens and has found a solution or has any suggestions, I would love to hear from you.

posted on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 12:12am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Adult gamers who cannot control their gaming activity over doing something else productive are WEAK! Just like a TWEEK! Addiction is their problem. Children who have a problem gaming are children who have CONTROL over their parents. Those parents are pathetic! Get some help yourselves - take parenting classes...

posted on Tue, 11/16/2010 - 1:46am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I am extremely embarrassed because of what is taking place in my marriage right now. From the time my husband wakes up he jumps on the game. He sleeps on the couch now since the game is in the living room. We have not slept in the same room for nearly seven months now, and we have not had sex for three months. I dont know what to do. The easy way out would be to leave because it is a very hurtful situation for a four year marriage. The kids have lost all respect for him because of the disconnect within the house. He is more like a roommate than a husband. He sees nothing wrong with this behavior so I try not to argue. On one hand I do love my husband but on the other hand, the separation makes it easy for me to leave. I describe myself as a lonely married woman, I am very attractive and have fought the temptation of infidelity on many occasions. I guess I know what my decision should be I pretty much wanted to vent. It troubles me to know that a video game comes before, wife, kids and hygiene. He thinks Im crazy when I speak up so I guess I will quietly leave him to his game. Thanks for listening

posted on Fri, 01/14/2011 - 4:09am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Marriage is worth fighting for. Sit him down and tell him how you feel. Tell him what you expect. Then listen to what he feels and expects. Compromise is needed here if you're going to go forward.

posted on Fri, 01/14/2011 - 12:46pm
GIRLIE's picture
GIRLIE says:

My parents got divorced....i wish they would have sat down and talk about it though. but i guess they are happy.

posted on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 1:27pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

im adicted but have no shame

posted on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 2:56pm
Former MMORPG Addict's picture

If too much video games will be considered as an "addiction" by the group, this might be bigger than any addiction in the world.
Alcoholism, drug addiction and gambling will only supply pleasure for few minutes or hours.
Video game addiction can last for 10-15 hours per day. The problem about this is kids or any adults have easy access unlike in cocaine or weeds.
Would I label this as an addiction? Of course. But only when the playing gets out of control and messes up a person's responsibilities.

posted on Mon, 01/31/2011 - 12:10am
alliepatchell's picture

I'm not the right authority to label video games as being bad or good. I guess it doesn't matter how violent and senseless is a game. What matters is how we perceive it and what impression it leaves on us. We can't expect a kid to understand the game as we adults do. This is why it falls into or lap to educate our kids and show them the difference between playing and real life. If parents would dedicate more time to their kids and not just abandon them in front of the TV with a joystick in their hands, we'd have a better future on this planet. I allow my kids to play games with swords on their Wii machine. This way I'm sure they can't poke an eye and they play together not apart. They also get to do some exercise while playing although they're quite active, like all kids probably are.

posted on Tue, 04/05/2011 - 5:52am
Ex - GAMER's picture
Ex - GAMER says:

I have a solution... !!!
(but it requires commitment and planning)

It's called a trip... One that resets the brain. Since the brain has great plasticity you need to replace gaming with something else. For the perfect reset it usually takes up around 90 days, but fortunatly even a week of not doing the addictive action can make the brain not wanting that action anymore. SUGGEST reading "The Brain That Changes Itself".

SO... For the younger generation I recommend backpacking through Europe. Why backpacking? It is cheaper, it forces obligations (staying alive, feed yourself, rest), forces research (finding decent housing, places to see etc), observations (all the sightseeing). In other words you need to keep the brain away from the pleasures that the gaming gives and replacing them with the increase in survival + the new things and experiences you get during the trip. You need to make your partner engage in all those researches and sightseeing, if not you will both get the worse deals, not find food etc and your trip will turn out really bad. One partner can plan one city and the other parnter can plan the next city. Plan as you go and see fit, and try not to make a huge plan for the whole trip. Also try and stay around 5 days in each of the big cities.
The trip would be best if you stay in hostels rather hotels mainly because of the people you will encounter (the very outgoing type). This will also save you a lot of money that you can spend in other places. [the best hostels are in Austria, Germany, England, Switzerland, some of France]. In Italy I recommend staying in hotels because the prices are really cheap. Going more east in Europe, the comfort of hostels diminishes.
*** As for the money you need around $1500-$2000 per person (TOTAL) for a whole month!! thats if you do your research [i have many tips, but I won't have enough space here]... If this is too expensive for you than I think you should really reconsider. Would you rather have $1500 or a better marriage...? If you are determined to do this I say you get a 2nd job and try and plan it out.

For the older people who do not have a huge amount of time I would suggest a yoga trip (1 week - outside of the city of course). Montreal is great for that. You do not need to know yoga to do these things. I say yoga because you will eat very good food, you will be forced to not to talk to anyone, you will be forced not to access any technology etc. These sessions are made to focus on oneself. ++ it is outside of the city so you will change the house/comfortable environment.

I don't recommend an all week inclusive trip in the bahamas... because all you're going to do there is sit by the beach and swim a little bit. BIG DEAL... You want your partner to engage and interact, and not be comfortable, just like at home!!!

+++ if your partner misses a week of gaming, the (clan, guild or whatever bs) will probably not rely on your partner anymore and he will feel left out once he gets back at home. Unless... he really is determined to catch up after all that. I kind doubt it. BUT you will need to enforce this because if he starts playing again, then you didn't achieve anything. The "trip" week would act just as the beginning. A good continuation would be to talk to your partner and try and sell all the games and plan for the next trip, and so on.

This would work a lot better if you do not tell your partner you will go on ths trip, specifficaly for him/her so that he/she stops playing games. He will hate you for it, and if the trip encounter bad or boring parts your partner will remind you of the failure and compare it to staying home and playing games.

I was also an addictive gamer and I still play games, but now only with friends when we gather and when I find time. Gaming is not my escape anymore now. I had my first epiphany when I came back from a backpacking trip through Europe in 2006. There I slept in airports, couchsurfed, met crazy people, went clubbing even if I did not want to but was forced by my always changing roomates etc. AND once I got home all I wanted was not stay enclosed inside. I wanted to go out and talk to people. That was because I have replaced my gaming with social outgoing and trying new things.

*** I would recommend this for parents that have lost their kids to gaming. Send your kids by themselves in Europe for a whole month. Is that easy.

I must add that it is really hard to make people stop what they do once they are comfortable with their surroundings. For example: if u live in a small city/rural area it's going to be boring all the time if you do not play games. Therefore a lot of people will start getting their habbit back, once they lost it. The other partner should try to come up with ideas that can change the environment.

All I wanted to say, hope this helps :P.

posted on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 5:33pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Guys amnd girls.Ever considered smashing the gaming platforms?

posted on Sat, 06/04/2011 - 4:07am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

so it's not exactly antisocial...it just impairs a person's ability to interact face to face with the people he meets (when he bothers to leave the house). oh, and of course their ability to find and keep a job (since they gave up their education to spend more time gaming...). And then there is the stress related heart attack that the mother had because her son was totally angry and full of hate all the time because she loved him enough to try to help him....

posted on Fri, 06/17/2011 - 8:23pm
big G's picture
big G says:

There not all that bad some may be violent but there puzzling, they take a little bit of brain skills for example half-life 2 ... There is killing and violence but it is puzzling it takes a brain to play. The game has so much logic behind it it’s not funny.... Portals is another, there is no killing per say, you kill a robot. big whoop! but the game is so challenging! I’d like to see u beat either one.

posted on Wed, 11/30/2011 - 7:41am
Matt's picture
Matt says:

You know what? This goes out to all the wives and husbands out there that complain about playing video games. I'm a husband I am 28 and I have 3 beautiful boys. My wife doesn't nag me to stop playing Xbox. She has embraced it as something that I am gonna do. She even plays sometimes. I play 5 hours on average during the week and sometimes over the weekend I play for 6-7 hours possibly more. And I always find time to play with my kids (besides gaming) I help with their homework and make time to hang out with my wife and family. We go out to eat, go to museums with the boys, go to the movies, etc. etc. So don't blame video games for your marital problems. Blame your spouse. They could still do all that stuff with you AND play video games. They are just bad partners. Either join in and stop nagging them or get a divorce. If you show them that you don't care if they play as long as they still go out and do stuff as a family they will surprise you by doing more with you. Have you ever told someone that they can't do something, they will turn around and do what you told them not to. If you join in with them in playing a video game (the wife loves the xbox kinect games and Call of Duty) you will find it to be a very fun family activity.

posted on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 7:13pm
Stephen F's picture
Stephen F says:

I am in the exact opposite position. I have been married 7 years to my wife. I work 2 casino dealing jobs along with National Guard (48+ hours). I rarely get days off let alone play games for more than a hour or 2 and I get grief that playing games will not advance me in life. Its not about advancing me in life but taking the stress and worry off of me and letting me relax. I do agree that playing 40+ hours a week is a bit much and that will not solve problems that come up in life with you or your family. But also refusing to allow men to have some sort of outlet to relieve pressure is also not good either. Gaming can be a hobby like fishing, hunting, reading, watching tv, etc, but unlike those can be taken too far to the extreme since its too easy to just pop in a disc vs drive to the lake or area to hunt or fish in. I must admit though my wife is letting me buy a PS4 and I will only play whenever time permits me to do so which will not be very often.

posted on Sun, 09/29/2013 - 4:30pm

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