Sep
09
2008

Invincible naked astronauts return to earth for sex

Okay, hold that pose: But we're going to want to try it without... without...  Forget it.
Okay, hold that pose: But we're going to want to try it without... without... Forget it.Courtesy NASA
And they didn’t just have sex; they actually reproduced, which turns out to be important for naked astronauts. But we’re getting ahead of ourselves, aren’t we?

No, we aren’t.

Tiny, naked astronauts were recently exposed to the vacuum environment, harsh temperatures, and dangerous radiation of space for a period of several days. The space travelers went into an almost entirely dormant state for the duration, slowing their metabolisms to .01% of their normal levels.

After they were brought back into the low-orbit space vessel, most of the astronauts were completely revived. (Some died. It was very sad.) Aside from enduring the vacuum of space, and the extreme temperatures outside of a space capsule, the astronauts’ ability to survive the radiation of space most surprised scientists. On the surface of earth, solar radiation (as you no doubt are aware) is strong enough to give us sunburn, and cause genetic damage to our skin cells (leading to skin cancer). The levels of radiation in space are 1,000 times higher, enough to sterilize an organism, yet the astronauts did fine with it, and were even able to successfully reproduce on their return to earth. Scientists hope to isolate whatever mechanism allowed the astronauts to repair the genetic damage they likely incurred while in space. Such research might be applied to radiation therapy techniques.

We salute you, tiny, naked challengers of the unknown.

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