Marvelous new opportunity for puns and clever allusions: Hemp Biodiesel!

Industrial hemp: Fields of green, etc, etc. Don't be tedious.
Industrial hemp: Fields of green, etc, etc. Don't be tedious.Courtesy Aleks
Oh, happy day! It was getting dry out there, Buzzketeers. I’m referring, of course, to the dearth of hilarious science news items; everything is extinction this, cancer that, radioactive this, greenish discharge that. If you wanted to write a clever and humorous article about scientific research, you’d have to lower yourself to making fun of oil-covered seabirds, or the stupid things babies do when they’re learning. Ugh.

But not any more, thanks to researchers at the University of Connecticut. By exploring the potential of industrial hemp to be a bio-fuel feedstock, they have opened up a plentiful new source of raw material for puns.

We could spend hours discussing how “green” the research is! Ha ha ha! Or, like, the high expectations scientists have for technology that can convert up to 97% of the oil from hemp seeds (a commonly discarded byproduct in hemp farming) into biodiesel. Ho ho ho ha!

Or what about this: there’s been a lot of… buzz surrounding biofuel production, because it could potentially remove food crops and high quality land from our food production system. But because hemp—which is typically grown for its fibers—can grow on relatively poor-quality land, it shouldn’t affect our production of munchies! Ha ha hahahahaaa!

It turns out that industrial hemp has a lot of applications, but it can’t be used as a drug! Ha ha… Oh, wait, I guess that wasn’t really a pun.

In any case, it’s illegal to grow industrial hemp in 41 states, so this one is probably just for other countries.

PS—Drug abuse isn’t any funnier than drug-related puns. Don’t yell at me.

Your Comments, Thoughts, Questions, Ideas

JackU's picture
JackU says:

In any case, it’s illegal to grow industrial hemp in 41 states, so this one is probably just for other countries.

Or the 9 states that do allow it. 8^)

posted on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 2:22pm
JGordon's picture
JGordon says:

Well, ok. But I was assuming that those 9 were the weirdo states. (They know who they are.)

posted on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 4:20pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

I wonder what those 9 states reasoning is for not making it illegal to grow industrial hemp.

posted on Sat, 02/12/2011 - 3:57pm
iamfwomwome's picture
iamfwomwome says:

Thanks for mentioning the potential for developing the full economic potentials of hemp technology. Take your laughs where you can get 'em as they say, but really it's quite serious endeavor with enormous potential to quickly benefit the environment and create millions of jobs in several existing sectors and probably create more than a few new innovations as cannabis is known to promote creativity. Constantly harp on the fact that the flowers of the female plants bear the oil-rich and nutritious seed. This oil can be used for human and animal foods or diverted into biofuel and other useful applications. Also, cannabis' fibers being longer than that of hardwood bind to make superior strength and lighter construction grade lumber. Cannabis also stores more carbon and produces forty times more cellulose fibers than hardwood. These fibers can be used for everything from tissue paper to construction grade lumber. Or the panel of a car door to a very fine silk.

Medicinal marijuana and industrial hemp are both members of cannabis sativa and cannabis indica.The main difference between them is that the seeds are prevented from developing in marijuana by removing male plants so the remaining female plants actually produce a more fragrant flower with known characteristics and predictable amounts of beneficial phytochemicals called cannabinoids. On the other hand, industrial hemp production seeks to maximize yield of stalk fibers and seed weight. The cannabis plant produces copious amounts of amazing seeds with well known nutritional composition ( complete protein, rich in fiber and EFAs),and beneficial effects on the brain, heart and immune system.

just found a nice site that has cool graphics about the benefits of cannabis hemp it's www.hempforyou.com
I haven't had a chance to read it all but I like the posters..

Light and Health

posted on Sun, 06/26/2011 - 9:29pm

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