Courtesy Terence OngIn one of the biggest breakthroughs in food and dietary history, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration has announced today (April 1, 2013), that it is permitting the sale of genetically modified ice cream to the public. The announcement comes on the heals of 16 years of experimenting and testing to come with a healthier version of the dairy food.
"Through the genetic modification (GM) process, we've been able to remove up to 93 percent of the calories you find in traditional ice creams, explained FDA spokesman Herman Guernsey. "And with that breakthrough, we've eliminated 100 percent of the guilt associated with eating ice cream. Now, people will be able to enjoy healthier and happier ice cream."
Of course, such breakthroughs also require some significant changes to the ice cream. The GM process did not work for traditional ice cream flavors like vanilla, chocolate or strawberry. "We did have to turn to some more health-oriented flavorings, but our focus groups seemed to especially like the GM ice cream flavors of broccoli, spinach and tuna," said Guernsey.
Cost is another issue for consumers. In order to push the GM ice cream through this advanced process, the cost right now is about $10 a pint. While public sales start today, GM ice cream may not be available in all grocery stores. But internet orders are being accepted at the website www.gmicecream.com. "We strongly advise anyone making internet orders do do so in the winter time as the ice cream is shipped by U.S. mail," Guernsey added.
He concluded: "We think people will enjoy this new GM ice cream and have a good laugh while reading this blog post."
Courtesy william c hutton jrYou know what’s bad? Animal cruelty.
Seriously. I mean, I don’t want to go out on a political limb here, but… I’m against it. You can put that on your head and call it a hat: JGordon is officially against animal cruelty.
Unfortunately, I’m also lazy and ignorant. What exactly constitutes animal cruelty? And, if I’m taking part in it, will it be too inconvenient for me to change my ways?
Is dressing my dog up in clothes that match my own considered “cruel”? What if I take him out on the town, and refer to him as my “twin” and “special friend”?
Reaching into fish tanks to flick the goldfish—cruel, or playful? Because the fish seem to like it, even if their owners don’t.
Screaming at pigeons? And does the language I use matter?
And how, really, should I feel about the dairy industry?
Well, that’s when I turn to PETA, or People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. PETA is a non-profit animal rights organization that works to prevent animal cruelty in medical and cosmetic testing, factory farms, and fur farms (among other areas). It encourages activism, transparency in business’ use of animals, and community involvement. And changing the names of towns like Rodeo, California, and Hamburg, New York, to something “less suggestive of animal exploitation.” And comparing the treatment of animals to the Holocaust. And sending letters to celebrity babies, reminding them that they shouldn’t wear fur. Vital, heady stuff.
This week, PETA has sent a bold new letter to ice cream maker Ben and Jerry’s, with a message sure to resonate in the hearts of non-celebrity baby people around the world: stop using cruelty-tainted cow’s milk for your gourmet ice cream, and start using delicious, healthy, human breast milk.
The letter points out that, in addiction to the cruelty employed in obtaining cow’s milk, drinking milk can lead to anemia and diabetes in children, as well as allergies and obesity and heart disease. This may very well be the case, although the citation for all of these arguments is a link to another PETA website called “milksucks.com.” Milksucks.com points out that a glass of milk is about 49 % fat, which seems like an awfully dubious figure. (The USDA says that whole milk is about 3.25% fat. But they would, wouldn’t they.) A variety of studies show both increases and decreases in cancer, heart diseases, etc, from consuming milk (Here’s a link to wikipedia’s milk medical research section, which has links to the original studies cited, which I don’t want to take the time to post here.)
Breast milk, it seems, is pretty good for babies, and may be good for folks with gastro-intestinal disorders. And it doesn’t come from sad cows, as far as I know.
PETA got the idea from a particular Swiss restaurant that plans to replace 75% percent of the cow’s milk they use with human milk. The obvious next step is to present the notion to a major ice cream maker, although I’m not sure that the massive breast milk infrastructure that will allow a Swiss restaurant to partially replace the cow milk they use exists in America. Still, the message was sent, and I think the American people heard it loud and clear: PETA has some ideas that we can relate to.
Let me start by stating this as clearly as I can:
ETHYLENE GLYCOL, THE ANTIFREEZE COMMONLY USED IN CARS, IS POISON!! DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, DRINK ANTIFREEZE!
There, are we all clear on that? Good.
A scientist in Wisconsin has developed an edible antifreeze that will prevent ice crystals from forming in that block of old ice cream you forgot about in the back of your freezer.
DO NOT PUT ANTIFREEZE IN YOUR ICE CREAM!
The edible antifreeze is made from a fruit enzyme that cuts proteins into smaller pieces and keeps them from freezing. It might also be used to protect meats from “freezer burn.”
DO NOT SOAK YOUR MEAT IN ANTIFREEZE!
We hope you have enjoyed our little discourse on the wonders of food processing.