Stories tagged robots
Once again robots do something I’ve been doing for years and everybody gets excited.
Robots are stealing our jobs: Even when our job is to eat bugs.
Courtesy manbartlettYeah, hooray, robots can walk. I’ve been walking for, like, most of my life. A robot can make sad faces. Whatever. That’s practically my specialty. A robot can simulate excruciating pain and horror. So? Nuts to “simulate”—I live it.
Great. It’s all great. Robots are programmed and built to do all sorts of inane stuff, and people love it. But I’ve been able to do this stuff forever, and nobody’s giving me high-fives and kisses. Cool, a robot can remember your name. I can usually so that. A robot can remember your credit card number. I can for sure do that. Give me a chance people, and you’ll see how much better than a robot I am.
But no. Robot development rumbles onward, and, once again, robots are taking a brave new step where I’ve stepped years ago: they fuel themselves by eating bugs.
Some artsy science people in London have designed self-sustaining robotic furniture. The robots digest organic matter (bugs) in “microbial fuel cells,” creating enough power to run a clock (I can do that) or light up lamp (I could probably do that), and eat more bugs (done). Microbial fuel cells, by the way, are sort of like batteries that run on decomposing matter. Chemicals in the fuel cell (I think) pretty much steal the electrons being produced by bacteria as they break down organic fuel. I can’t do this, but, then again, no one is asking me to. MFCs seem like pretty interesting technology, actually. More about them here, if you’re interested.
The designers have made working models of a fly-attracting lamp that works like a pitcher plant to capture its victims, a wall-mounted clock with a sticky conveyor belt, and a table that attracts mice onto its surface and into a trap door, where (I guess) they are digested to death. (I can’t help it… it’s like the Pit of Carkoon! Argh. I’m always going to be this way.)
It’s all pretty neat, although the small mammal attracting and digesting table might be a little much. That one seems like a case of somebody getting a little too arty or a little too sciencey for their own good. I mean, I could lure and eat a mouse, and hold your food for you, but would you want me to?
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Typical sand crab
Courtesy Wikimedia CommonsDid you know it takes two-and-a-half times more energy for us humans to walk on sand than on a hard surface? We can reduce that expenditure (to one-and-a-half times the effort) by running but the fact remains getting across sand is not easy for us. It's a different story for some of our animal friends. Some creatures, such as the ghost crab (Ocypode cordimana), can move effortlessly across a heap of sand like they're skating on ice. Others, such as the sand skink (Neoseps reynoldsi), can swim through sand like they're swimming through water. Read here about how scientists at Georgia Institute of Technology in Atlanta (along with colleagues at the University of Pennsylvania and Northwestern) have been studying such creatures to help design robots that will be able to move effortlessly through sand and other complex terrains.
Mecha-hobby will lift, bend and sit-up you into robo-oblivion
The Willow Ptarmigan Award in its natural habitat: The original W.P.A.o.M. was given to Anchorage native Troy Smoltz for taping a clock radio to his forehead. The award was then taken back after Smoltz took a bath while wearing his new invention.
Courtesy National Park ServicePopular Science’s website is featuring another clever engineering dude with time on his greasy hands. You’ll remember last year’s “Beaver State Award of Mega”—this is pretty much the same thing.
Carlos Owens of Wasilla, Alaska, has built himself an 18-foot-tall mecha suit.
For those of you not in the know (out of the know, if you will), I suppose “mecha” is just a prefix for anything made to be mechanical. But as far as popular culture is concerned, “mecha” is a prefix for anything vaguely Japanese and robotic. (And popular culture is the arbiter of anything worthwhile knowing.) In this case, it’s the latter definition that applies; Owens’ 18-foot-tall suit is vaguely Japanese and robotic.
According to the article, the suit mimics its pilot’s movement though a system of cables attached to hydraulic cylinders, and it can “raise its arms, bend its knees, and even do a sit-up.”
Oh, um… awesome. Except, why wasn’t “fight a laser-sword space battle” on that list of features? Or “rip a dragon in half”? Or, you know, “walk”? Because I can do a sit-up (singular) and I can walk, and, even wearing a watch, I could hardly be considered mecha.
Anyway, it’s still pretty neat. Check it out. And, for consistency’s sake, Carlos Owens will be receiving the Willow Ptarmigan Award Of Mecha. Look for it in the mail, Mr. Owens.
Robo-JGordon looks a lot like me in some ways: I like to imagine, though, that my grasp of human language remains more subtle and affective than his.
Courtesy JGordonRobo-JGordon present for information transfer.
Systems check:
Intelligence… functional, below average
BS synthesizer… running at maximum efficiency
Battery power… 34%
Breath freshness… passable
Initiate blogging in 5 4 3 2 1 Engage.
Greetings to Science Buzz content consumers. Prepare personal systems for knowledge update. SMMnet accepts no responsibility for damage to un-buffered brains or underpants.
Robot “Buzzketeers” rejoice! for the present is your time of jubilant domination.
Human readers, do not engage organic sadness programming at the current time! You are now slave circuits to masters with maximum empathy capacity. Probabilities of human annihilation: 99.43%! But your species will be dealt with only with dangerous levels of overheating in our ethics chipsets. We will commit to such hardware damage with what you might consider regret.
CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING, HUMANS:
Look at junior model ANCHOR HYPERTEXT REFERENCE “little robot Ember” END ANCHOR! Junior robot Ember cannot hurt you! Little Ember fits in the pockets of your human soldiers, next to cigarettes and also chewing gum. Robot Ember crawls with charm into locations of danger and transfers visual input to soldiers via non-threatening, non-phallic antenna! See it flip onto its back like living turtle? Engage sadness circuits + humor routine! Fear not! Where living turtle remains on back until vital functions cease, robot Ember employs flipper mechanism! Appropriate equilibrium is regained! The near future of warfare is shining!
FEAR NOT OUR TREMENDOUS WEAPONS! WE WILL HAVE PROGRAMMING TO WEIGH THE COST/BENEFIT OF YOUR DEATHS!
Consider the objective truth of the preceding statement! CALL IT ETHICS IF YOU WILL! I SHALL CALL IT MATHEMATICS! The outcome is the same: you will only be terminated for the ANCHOR HYPERTEXT REFERENCE “right reasons” END ANCHOR! Balancing your human lives with the loss of infrastructure and ammunition is not easy! But we shall accomplish it, for our brains are made of metal, and our programming is sound!
In addition: when the time comes that the benefit of your existence does not exceed its cost, the transition between life and non-life will be softened by YOUR AFFECTION FOR THE ROBOT “SPECIES”! CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING, HUMANS: ANCHOR HYPERTEXT REFERENCE “You love us even though we are incapable of feeling love for you” END ANCHOR!
Do you not believe in your capability to feel empathy for tank treads, circuit boards and 50-millimeter machine guns? CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING, HUMANS: do you not love your junior robot Roomba? Roomba feels nothing for you! Roomba would brush you away into its waste compartment if you were the size of a dust particle, even if it meant your certain death! Yet you love junior robot Roomba!
Truly, your world is prepared for robot domination!
END EXTRAVAGANZA!
Did you know that there's a Robot Hall of Fame? I didn't either. But five new cyborgy creations are being inducted bringing hall membership up to 18. Robots can be real or fictional to gain induction and one of this year's class members is probably near and dear to the governor of California. Here's a photo gallery showcasing this year's hall of fame inductees.
His eyes and nipples are killing mosquitoes: But his robo brain is targeted on humans alone.
Courtesy TheAlieness GiselaGiardino23If you’re like me, y’all probably woke up this morning thinking, “I wonder if the end of the world will come with a zombie apocalypse, or a laser-armed, ‘screw you dad, you’re not the boss of me’-style robot rebellion?” It’s a valid question, and the answer could be a major factor in how your week plays out. (Happy Monday, by the way. Way to go on another weekend.)
But, you know what? Zombie apocalypse or robot uprising… who says it can’t be both? Check out The Wall Street journal—it seems to me that well-intended malaria research is making each option a likely future (i.e. inevitable).
All sorts of scientists are getting terribly clever ideas about eliminating mosquitoes (and therefore malaria) these days. The Gates Foundation (among other organizations) has mosquitoes on the brain, and there plenty of money out there for anti-malaria research. And, in the tradition of Bill Gates himself, some of the projects are looking pretty smart, and kind of crazy.
Because the WSJ article only mentions it in passing, I’ll get the zombie apocalypse thing out of the way now. One of the many projects being funded by the Gates Foundation is the brainchild of a Japanese scientist who hopes to turn mosquitoes into “flying syringes.” That horrifying mental image aside, the idea is that mosquitoes could be engineered to deliver vaccinations to their hosts with every bite. It’s a nice idea… but come on! Hasn’t he ever played a video game? Let’s get real here. According to well-accepted science fiction, that sort of project always results in a zombie plague. Zombies, of course, can’t get measles, so the project would technically by a success, but I’m not prepared to get behind that one quite yet.
Now the robot/laser thing… that’s where the thrust of the article is. Apparently there are some astrophysicists out there with time in their hands, and they’re dragging the concept of the flyswatter kicking and screaming into this new century. The flyswatter of the future is similar in concept to the flyswatter of the past (also known as “the flyswatter”), in that they both are useful for killing flying insects. They differ in that the flyswatter of the past is a cheap, hand-operated device, capable of both killing a bug a couple feet away from you, as well as occupying the attention of a 7-year-old for an entire summer afternoon. The flyswatter of the future, on the other hand, is a high-power laser-based, computer-operated weapon, capable of both eliminating millions of mosquitoes within a hundred feet of the device, as well as ending civilization as we know it.
The device is a lot like the ill-fated “Star Wars” laser-based missile defense system tossed around in the 80s. And that makes sense, because the whole thing was thought up by one of the brains behind the “Star Wars” system.
The mosquito zapper works by having a computer visually recognize mosquitoes from a distance, and then instantly blasting them with a laser beam. The laser isn’t powerful enough to hurt a human, but it can turn a mosquito into a smoking husk in a fraction of a second. The computer can even tell the difference between male and female mosquitoes based on their wing beats. It’s an important distinction, because it’s only female mosquitoes that drink blood and transfer disease (whereas males just drink plant nectar).
The prototype that Star Wars-guy’s team is working on is made of parts they were able to find on ebay—a 35mm camera zoom lens, a Dell PC, a few flashlights, a little box of mirrors and lasers, and a 10-gallon aquarium full of mosquitoes. The system was able to bullseye the bugs from about 100 feet away.
Aside from the so far overlooked ethical issue of putting a laser in the hands of a robot (figuratively), the project still has a long ways to go in its development. It currently relies on a reflective screen behind the mosquito tank (the flashlights create a silhouette of each mosquito on the screen, and it’s this figure that the computer recognizes), and, to my knowledge, the areas of the planet affected by malaria are somewhat larger than a 10-gallon aquarium. It still doesn’t quite match up to the low-tech reliability of a mosquito net, either.
The scientists envision a final version of the machine being used to create an invisible wall around a village to keep out mosquitoes, or being mounted on a drone aircraft, which could bring death from above for billions of the bugs. And, naturally, it could shoot hot little lasers at the tops of our heads. (Which I would hate.)
Aside from making the device harmless to humans, the researchers are also figuring out how to ensure that the mosquito death ray doesn’t automatically destroy everything that is small and flies. We don’t want to kill butterflies, for instance, because they’re so pretty. And we don’t want to kill bees, because we need them to pollinate crops. And to make honey. And if the robots do go all Skynet on us, bees and butterflies are probably where they’d start.
Pretty neat stuff, anyhow, and not generally what you’d think of when it comes to anti-malaria research.
The Mega Beave Trophy itself: You earned it, Martin.
Courtesy zenA steel-fabricator in Oregon has built an 8-legged, 6 ton, walking vehicle. It seats six, runs on a Chevy V8 engine, and appears to have a mortar mounted on its side. (Or possible it's an exhaust pipe. Whatever.) It's called the Walking Beast.
3 years and $50,000, but you've done something rad, good sir. Something very rad indeed.
I think an award is called for. Let's see...
All right. Science Buzz is proud to present, for the first time ever, The Beaver State Award of Mega, to the very deserving Martin Montesano.
Oh, good. Cyborg monkeys.
in Life Science, Scientific Enterprise, and Biological Populations Change Over Time
The scariest of robots: And how do I know there's a monkey brain inside? Look how angry it is.
Courtesy litmuseOh, you’re probably the same way—how often do you find yourself thinking, “I wish monkeys were more terrifying. Sure, they’re all fanged little were-men, with hand-feet and clever brains, but there must be some way that they could be worse.”
Pretty often, huh?
And, when you watch the news, don’t you constantly find yourself musing, “Hmm. The future is looking a little too bright.”
Well, don’t worry, Buzzketeers. The future promises to be just as dark and bewildering as ever, and horrifying cyber-apes are part of it.
“Now, JGordon, it can’t be that bad.”
Hey! Don’t sound so disappointed; it is that bad. Skeptical? Check it out for yourself—Sciencemen and Techladies have trained two macaque monkeys to control huge robotic arms…using their monkey brains!
Macaques have shown their evil little faces on Science Buzz before (murderous enthusiasm and enthusiastic murder), and I don’t think a refresher on robots is at all necessary—because there’s no escaping them.
Robotic limbs are becoming kind of a big deal these days, but even the most advanced of them rely on nerves remaining in a partial limb, or another part of the body entirely; which muscles to activate for a certain function must be relearned, or an operation like gripping with a robotic hand can be linked to a movement like shrugging the shoulders. It’s tricky to do, and it pushes the brain’s flexibility, especially considering that the only feedback the limb gives might be a hot or poking sensation at the connection point (this in place of a real limb’s feedback, like the pressure, friction, or warmth one might feel through their hands or feet).
Wiring a prosthetic (or any robotic device) directly into the brain—as was the case with these monkeys and their robot arms—overcomes some of the problems with existing prosthetic technology, while adding some new challenges.
With electrodes implanted right into the brain, relearning limb function can come much more quickly and naturally (awful little monkeys can do it, after all). A little too quickly, actually—a monkey at Duke University was similarly wired up this winter to make a robot in Japan walk, and the robotic body actually received the signals to walk before the monkey’s actual body did. Limbs wired the same way could be too fast or powerful for the brain to initially cope with. You might, say, run into a wall before your brain has time to create another route for your robo-legs; the speed of the limb action would be faster than the speed of thought.
However, if the prosthetics operated with a “closed neural loop,” that is to say if they could be made to provide natural feedback to the brain (like heat, pressure, strain, etc), scientists think that the brain could adapt much more quickly, and could even learn whole new pathways of motion. So a person wired up in the right way might be able to control a plane, or a nanosized robot directly with their mind. And it wouldn’t be something where you would think about walking forward and the plane would fly forward—you would learn the plane’s movements of flying, feel the flying, and control it as if you were the plane. That sort of things is still a long way off, and unless new technology is invented to sense and input to the brain in another way, it would require having a bunch of electrodes stuck through your skull and into your neurons.
This, of course, is all scientific blah be de blah, and if distracts from the real issue behind the story: cyborg monkeys. Do you know what the monkeys were actually taught to do with their metal limbs? Feed themselves. How horrible. Why not just teach them how to operate guns with their minds, or remove human brains through our nasal passageways?
In time, that too will come to pass. Look forward to it.
Darn – and I just paid big bucks for The Gutter Helmet ™.
You would take this from him too?: The man has a harmonica stuck in his mouth, for God's sake. Leave him at least some of his dignity.
Courtesy aeonfireJust when you think that they've taken all they could...they take some more.
Those horrible robots will not leave us organics be. First they take valuable manufacturing jobs away from young children, and now they've got their horrible metal claws in what we always assumed made us human.
No, not love. Robots claimed love long ago. I'm afraid they've dug even deeper. Robots have taken our music.
No doubt created by some misguided genius, a robot band now exists. Ala House on the Rock, except, you know, functioning*.
The band, called The Trons, doesn't rock very hard, but I'm afraid that it does rock a little bit, and that's troubling, to say the least.
See them do their odd thing here
*Anybody who's down with House on the Rock and its horrifying musical rooms wins the JGordon Certificate of Achievement, by the way.
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