Advice for budding politicians: strike fear into the hearts of your enemies. And also into the hearts of your constituents.

Good, good: Kiss some of the other babies... and then threaten them. It'll be a landslide.
Good, good: Kiss some of the other babies... and then threaten them. It'll be a landslide.Courtesy
Here at Science Buzz we try to provide solid scientific information that Internet enthusiasts young and old might use to enhance their lives and their understanding of the world. Ding.

I’m sorry to admit, however, that we rarely offer advice directly to politicians. Sure, bloggers here might make their political leanings obvious from time to time, but we generally don’t give politicians pointers on how to enhance their careers.

Well there’s finally a Buzzer (me) with the courage (plenty) to stand up for the little guy (politicians) and hand out some advice (very valuable).

And here it is: If you want to manipulate people, make them afraid.

What? You sort of already knew that? Well no one sort of likes a smarty-pants, so zip it.

Besides, what you knew before was anecdotal. This is scientific. (Political science, but still, it was published, and that’s pretty good. Right?)

What’s more, it’s not quite so simple as the above statement. The real trick is to get your fear-mongering manipulation in when you’re dealing with a subject that people don’t understand very well. If the plebeians have solid mental footing, they’re much more likely to see through your crumby policies and deceptive statements. But if they’re uncertain about something, start up your scare engine and manipulate away.

Let’s do some practice runs:

“Your cats are unwholesome, and will eat your children. Kill them, and donate all money saved on cat food to my campaign.”

No, I know that isn’t true. If anything, the cats are in danger of being eaten by me. Plus I don’t own children. So I’m keeping that money, junior.

“Cloning research is unwholesome. It will de-value human life. I am against cloning, so vote for me.”

Say… I saw The Matrix. That was scary. I don’t know how cloning works, but it is scary. I am against cloning too. And I’m for you, junior.

“My opponent’s economic policies are going to ruin you. Check it.”

Hey… I’ll probably only live about 2 and a half billion seconds in my life. Economics involves trillions of dollars… that’s incomprehensible to me. I’m yours, junior.

See how easy and fun that was?

Science and scientific stuff is a good place to start, of course, because a lot of people don’t know a lot of stuff about science.

(On the offhand chance that you’re a non-politician reading this, I suppose you could get yerself educated about some science, etc, and have a better idea of when someone is trying to make you afraid and control you. But that’s not very nice to the politicians, is it?)

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