Sep
29
2007

California scientist tosses out fighting words from behind desk

Be Aggressive: Image courtesy of fawn on flickr.com
Be Aggressive: Image courtesy of fawn on flickr.com
Some Poindexter at the University of California, Davis, has recently decided that it’s all right for him to go around slandering people with older brothers. Professor Nerdlinger claims that older brothers fuel aggression in siblings.

According to his study, “Having a brother or a highly aggressive sibling of either gender can lead to greater increases in aggression over time.” These results were obtained through the cast of Revenge of the Nerds observing the behavior of 451 sibling pairs, and by having the subjects rate their own aggressive behavior. Nice facts, I say, but does Dr. Milquetoast have anything more forceful to back them up with?

As it happens, I’m proposing my own “study,” and I’m looking for test subjects. I’m hypothesizing that getting smacked in the back of the head can lead to certain scientists being a little more courteous around younger siblings, and that fat lips can help prevent boldfaced lies from escaping mouths.

What do you think of that? Huh?

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