Apr
16
2008

Taking some of the poison out of wine: Don't worry--the snake died happy.
Taking some of the poison out of wine: Don't worry--the snake died happy.Courtesy niko si
South African entrepreneur and former pro rugby player, Guy Kebble, has supposedly invented a method of purifying wine that could eliminate some of the negative side effects of drinking. The side effects in question include headaches and nausea, which nobody likes. There’s still no word as to whether the new wine filtering technique will have any affect on some of the other side effects of drinking, like dangerously creative dancing, or telling that dude what you really think of his fauxhawk.

Before we get into the specifics of Guy’s technique, let’s learn a little bit about hangovers.

As we all know, hangovers are primarily the result of an epic scale battle of wills between the mind and the body. Always at war, a night of drinking might be considered a specific “battleground” between the armies of the brain and the body, an opportunity for each faction to make the other do something it knows is a bad idea. The desolation of the morning after, however, has time and time again shown that, in war, no one wins.

Ethyl alcohol is the active component of beer wine and liquor. We drink it, and things get a little goofy. Ethyl alcohol, or ethanol, is not to be confused with methyl alcohol. Methyl alcohol, or methanol, can be distilled from wood, and differs from ethanol by a single carbon atom and a couple of hydrogens. When we drink methanol, however, things get really goofy. Like, we go blind and die.

Aside from the goofy stuff, ethanol is a diuretic—it makes us pee more. Because of all this peeing, we get dehydrated after boozing it up. Dehydration gives us dry mouths and aching heads. Also, being dehydrated can cause or little brains to shrink slightly and pull away from the sides of the skull, which is kind of unsettling.

Along with dehydration, when our body metabolizes alcohol things get a little crazy. Shortly after consuming alcohol, our bodies turn it into acetaldehyde. Acetaldehyde is a flammable, fruity smelling liquid, and it’s found naturally in fruit, coffee, and fresh bread. And it causes hangovers. The acetaldehyde is then converted in the liver to acetic acid, a reaction that redirects glucose (sugar) from our brains, and when our brains don’t get their sugar fix, they get angry. Also, they get tired, weak, moody, and unable to concentrate.

Finally, the presence of other chemicals mixed in with the alcohol, called congeners, can cause trouble. Congeners are products of fermentation, and are sometimes added to drinks to enhance flavor. They also can make us sick.

This is where the South African wine scheme comes in. Most wine, it seems, has sulphites added to it, to help preserve it from spoiling. Some people are intensely allergic to sulphites, but most of us just get headaches from them. But the alternative is drinking spoiled wine. Or no wine at all, if you want to get technical.

Guy Kebble claims to have invented a machine that purifies liquids using “ultra-violet technology,” making it unnecessary—in wine—to add sulphites to kill the little wine-dwelling microbes. And without the sulphites, all that stands in the way of joyful mornings-after are dehydration, acetaldehyde poisoning, and hypoglycemia.

That’s all? This Guy’s going to be rich.

Your Comments, Thoughts, Questions, Ideas

Looney_Tooney's picture
Looney_Tooney says:

wow
that'll just make everyone wanna get drunk nd not worry about getting a hangover the next day

nd how is that gunna help??

posted on Thu, 04/17/2008 - 9:48am
andyshadexx's picture
andyshadexx says:

oh interesting,this guys is really smart i guess, but i don't think he going to be rich

posted on Thu, 04/17/2008 - 9:49am
SLC's picture
SLC says:

That is really interesting, but how is he going to get rich off this?? Anyone can think of that, plus he is smart to bring this kind of thing up. He sure ain't going to be that rich at all, cause that's really nothing just how to not get a hangover.

posted on Mon, 12/08/2008 - 12:56pm
Andy Korman's picture
Andy Korman says:

i agree with Looney_Tooney with that....

posted on Thu, 04/17/2008 - 9:50am
tiffany_88's picture
tiffany_88 says:

Wow is incredible a snake on wine. I don't drink like that.

posted on Thu, 04/17/2008 - 9:53am
Dan Morris's picture
Dan Morris says:

wow!!! all the more reason to suck on the fermented golden fluid that I love so much.
well done to the rugby pro!!!

posted on Fri, 04/18/2008 - 2:32am
hmoob_muas's picture
hmoob_muas says:

tight, how much does this thing cost...

posted on Thu, 04/24/2008 - 9:42am
JGordon's picture
JGordon says:

It costs only your mind, Jonas.

posted on Thu, 04/24/2008 - 12:09pm
Candice_318's picture
Candice_318 says:

We can't just kill snakes like that can we? I know theirs some enviornmentalist who is against it or some shtuff

Candice
Sponsered in part by
IM AWESOME Productions

posted on Thu, 05/01/2008 - 10:06am

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