A great American: taking an energy efficient, zero water bath.Courtesy mikekanyoThe Japanese government is encouraging its citizens to strike a grimy blow to the forces of overconsumption.

In an official report sparkling with figures and spinning with good intent, the government recommended that people take speedier showers, and not screw around in between baths.

“We’re savin’ water this way, see? And we don’t got to heat up as much, see? That saves energy, kid,” said Prime Minister Fukuda of the recommendation. “Now scram—ya bother me,” he added.

Still below the average American and European consumption levels, energy use per capita in Japan has increased by 44 percent over the last fifteen years or so. An, unlike America and Europe, where household energy use is primarily for heating and air-conditioning, the bulk of Japanese household energy use is applied to heating water for kitchens and bathrooms.

Shorter showers is an old trick, but traditional Japanese bath time customs leave some room for improvement—bathing is often done outside the tub, and followed by a soak in the hot water. Family members then will reuse the water when it’s their turn. Baths in quicker succession would require less reheating of the water, thereby saving energy.

“So simple a baby could have come up with it,” says Fukuda. “It’s genius, I tell ya!”

It’s a thought-provoking plan, certainly. I don’t recommend that Americans adopt it, however. No, while we could all stand to use a little less energy, who wants to constantly play catch up to another country? Not us. I say, then, that we stop bathing altogether! Let’s see another country try to beat that.

Sidenote—Does Pigpen have fleas? Or are those just dirt particles?