Oct
31
2008

This just in: mollusks are still creepy

Zoological counterstategists are working around the clock: If they discover what would happen if they wrapped themselves around our faces... The war would be over.
Zoological counterstategists are working around the clock: If they discover what would happen if they wrapped themselves around our faces... The war would be over.Courtesy ccaviness
Breaking news from the field of science: mollusks remain strange, unnerving. Chief among their many unsettling attributes are tentacles, highly developed brains, and an inborn desire to mess up the world of men.

A German octopus, name of Otto, has been conducting small-scale trial runs of what is no doubt a plan to disrupt that county’s entire electric infrastructure.

The staff of the Sea Star Aquarium in Colburg, Germany, had been baffled by the facility’s frequent short circuits and subsequent aquarium-wide power failures, until they began taking turns sleeping on the floor to discover the source of the problem. They found that two-foot seven-inch Otto the octopus, apparently irritated by the bright light over his tank, was climbing to the rim of his aquarium to shoot jets of water at the 2000-watt spotlight above him. The electrical havoc that followed allowed Otto to get his beauty sleep (and shut off the pumps in all the other tanks, slowly suffocating the aquarium’s other animals).

Aquarium officials refuse to acknowledge the threatening situation in front of their faces, instead making excuses for the octopus. When the aquarium closes for the winter, they claim, Otto gets bored and causes mischief for attention and stimulation. In addition to the dangerous act of vandalism above, Otto has been seen juggling the hermit crabs that he lives with, damaging the glass of his tank by throwing stones at it, and obsessively rearranging the items in his tank, to “the distress of his fellow tank inhabitants.”

This is a dangerous situation. What’s to be done here?

Your Comments, Thoughts, Questions, Ideas

Liza's picture
Liza says:

God, it's incredible, isn't it?

I sympathize with Otto, though, as he and I see to have a lot in common:

"Otto gets bored and causes mischief for attention and stimulation. In addition to the dangerous act of vandalism above, Otto has been seen juggling the hermit crabs that he lives with, damaging the glass of his tank by throwing stones at it, and obsessively rearranging the items in his tank, to “the distress of his fellow tank inhabitants."

Yup, just ask the folks I live with...And imagine what I could do if I could go around shooting jets of water at will!

posted on Fri, 10/31/2008 - 1:22pm
JGordon's picture
JGordon says:

But you only rarely juggle your children, right?

posted on Mon, 11/03/2008 - 1:14pm
Liza's picture
Liza says:

Um...yeah? As long as "rarely" is the operative word in that sentence?

I mean, they LIKE it...

posted on Mon, 11/03/2008 - 4:42pm
mentor242's picture
mentor242 says:

Otto seems very similar to Puck from "A Midsummer Night's Dream." He creates mischief for his fellow creatures as well as humans and seems to have super-powers when it comes to causing problems. My hat's off to Otto - may we some day see him starring in a Shakespearean play.

posted on Mon, 11/03/2008 - 11:49am
raquel10's picture
raquel10 says:

Those things look freaky!!!!!!!!!!

posted on Mon, 11/03/2008 - 6:04pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

That thing is vary vary ugly!!! But,whats with the name otto?

posted on Tue, 11/04/2008 - 8:44pm
JGordon's picture
JGordon says:

It's a traditional octopus name, dating back to the 14th century Ottoburgh octopuses.

posted on Wed, 11/05/2008 - 10:20am
Ahus1102's picture
Ahus1102 says:

this doesn,t look good it looks creepy.

posted on Mon, 11/10/2008 - 12:12pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

i never like octopus

posted on Thu, 12/11/2008 - 4:14pm

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