Like a rabid dog, BP well finally put down

A stretched metaphor: Original image altered, of course.
A stretched metaphor: Original image altered, of course.Courtesy Lucas Vieira Moreina
Five months after the deadly accident that spilled five million barrels of oil into the Gulf of Mexico, the Macondo well of the Deepwater oil spill has been declared “dead.”

It’s like when that rabid dog got into your house, and, after a tense struggle, your dad finally pinned its neck under his foot, and, with an Arnold-esque quip like “Bad dog,” sent a 9 mm bullet into the still-thrashing animal’s brain. And then one more, for good measure.

It’s like that, except your house would have to be like a large, deep body of water. And the rabid dog would also have been uncontrollably vomiting flammable poison everywhere. And your dad wouldn’t really have shot it so much as drilled a couple of holes beneath its head, and then pumped it full of cement. And it was your dad’s fault that it started puking like crazy in the first place, because he was really excited to sell more rabid dog vomit to you. (Because who doesn’t love that stuff?)

In any case, the dog/well has been put down with extreme prejudice. Cement has been injected into the oil well through the intersecting relief wells, and the hardened cap has been pressure tested. The well seems to present “no continuing threat to the Gulf of Mexico.”

That’s a good thing, obviously, but unfortunately it’s not the end of this human and environmental tragedy. Before the leaking well was finally capped, about 210 million gallons of oil leaked into the Gulf, some of it floating into slicks on the surface, some of it lurking in thick plumes deep in the Gulf. How the unrecovered oil will affect the Gulf’s ecosystems and its human population remains to be seen, and determining the extent of BP’s financial responsibility to the region’s inhabitants will likely be a lengthy and difficult process.

Still, though: Bad dog. Blam. That’s something, right?

Your Comments, Thoughts, Questions, Ideas

Shana's picture
Shana says:

This reminds me of Madame Bovary and her black vomit.

posted on Tue, 09/21/2010 - 9:11am
Shana's picture
Shana says:

"Now, in the first independent, peer-reviewed paper on the leak’s volume, scientists have affirmed heightened estimates of what is now acknowledged as the largest marine oil accident ever. Using a new technique to analyze underwater video of the well riser, they say it leaked some 56,000 to 68,000 barrels daily--maybe more--until the first effective cap was installed, on July 15. Their estimate of the total oil escaped into the open ocean is some 4.4 million barrels--close to the most recent consensus of government advisors, whose methods have not been detailed publicly."

posted on Fri, 09/24/2010 - 8:45am
Maddi's picture
Maddi says:

Why is the rabid dog spitting out ink?

posted on Fri, 10/01/2010 - 10:15am
JGordon's picture
JGordon says:

Because that dog is a purebred Finnish Ink-spitter. Duh! Didn't you read the article?

posted on Fri, 10/01/2010 - 2:54pm
Savannah<3's picture
Savannah<3 says:

I agree with Maddi, why would a dog vomit black ink? I can see the paint (fake drawing) on it... And really JGordon, we did read it, we just don't get why the dog vomits ink. Plus didn't YOU look at the picture? It's a picture of a real dog and it was drawed on to look like it was vomiting ink.

posted on Sun, 10/03/2010 - 10:33am
JGordon's picture
JGordon says:

What the... ?! You're right, Savannah<3, that is a drawing, and not real! Who drew on my photo?! And what is that even supposed to be? Yuck!

Some vandal drew on the picture and covered up whatever it was that the dog was really vomiting! Savannah, Mandi, mark my words: I will find the perpetrator, and I will make them tell us what is happening to that dog!

Good looking out, Buzzketeers.

posted on Sun, 10/03/2010 - 10:46pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Why the dog with oil shooting out?

posted on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 1:29pm
JGordon's picture
JGordon says:

Ah. I see you've made the same mistake I made. If you look closely, I think you'll find that the dog is actually spitting some sort of drawing or ink.

Don't feel too bad. Initially, I thought it was a visual joke, or something, but it turns out that it's ink.

posted on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 1:48pm
mgirl's picture
mgirl says:

it shoudnt have been able to breakt. think of they animals

posted on Sat, 10/09/2010 - 12:19pm
McKenzie Grace's picture
McKenzie Grace says:

I think this is HORRIBLE!!!! BP is COMEPLETLY responsible for has hurt the oceans,the animals,and the people around it! it is a HORRIBLE diasater!

posted on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 12:06pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

BP should no longer be allowed to operate. The Governemt should confiscate its assets, use them to clean up the spill and distribute the rest to the American people. That would be the only fair thing to do

posted on Sun, 10/24/2010 - 2:02pm
Mary(:'s picture
Mary(: says:

I think the picture isnt appropriate beacuase this is about oils spills not dogs. I can see why there is a picture of a dog, Because of the tittle. BUt spitting out oil? Really?

posted on Tue, 01/25/2011 - 8:57am
JGordon's picture
JGordon says:

Really! I mean, there it is.

posted on Tue, 01/25/2011 - 9:57am

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