(Really) Bigfoot in Borneo('s imagination)

But why is there only one set?: Because, my child, I'm like 25 feet tall, and I was probably carrying you. Or maybe I don't exist, and someone faked these footprints.  ~Bigfoot
But why is there only one set?: Because, my child, I'm like 25 feet tall, and I was probably carrying you. Or maybe I don't exist, and someone faked these footprints. ~BigfootCourtesy Thiru Murugan
Weeelllll, I’d invite y’all to have a seat on the little piece of furniture I like to call the Cryptocouch, but I’m afraid that this item may not quite warrant the Cryptocouch’s soft embrace of the butt of curiosity. I mean, I personally tried it out, and it felt good, very good, but I couldn’t quite shake the idea that I was abusing the privilege that is the couch. So I’m warning you off.

There are very big foot prints on the island of Borneo. Normally I’d be pretty excited about this sort of thing, but…well, let’s take a look.

About a week ago, some folks discovered two exceptionally large footprints near a ceremonial enclosure (an interesting thing to do with their medicine man, and a local malady, but I’m not getting into it here) not for from their village. With mysterious big footprints, often we’re looking at something in the neighborhood of 16 inches. These footprints, however, are 47 inches long. Pretty impressive, but, um…I think someone might have been overdoing things.

The link above, under “16 inches” will have a neat formula you can check out, but I’m not into that, so we’re going to do a foot size to height conversion JGordon style. I’m six feet tall (72 inches), and my feet are…let’s see. My cubicle has been provided with a plastic six-inch ruler, which we all know is useless—I literally can not think of a single item in this world that is six inches or smaller. Except maybe a baby’s brain. Or a broken six-inch ruler. Fortunately, I’m practically swimming in standard 8.5” x 11” sheets of paper.

Shoes off, my foot is almost exactly as long as the sheet of paper I’m standing on—11 inches. So, 11 / 72 = .153. That’s my ratio of foot size to height, and I’m going to say it applies to all other humans, hominids, and hominoids (I’m pretty much the perfect specimen). A creature with a foot 47 inches long, then, should be 308 inches tall, or 25 feet, 8 inches. That’s pretty tall, even for Bigfoot, which are rarely reported to be very much taller than 10 feet. Borneo may be the world’s third largest island (“may be”? Heck, I’m just going to say it is), but it would be tricky for a bunch of 26 foot tall anythings to hide out for very long there. Unless they’re magical, and that’d be straying a little far from Science Buzz territory.

The other issue here is weight. If you take a look at the photographs of the “footprints,” which can be found here, you’ll see they aren’t very deep. The villagers do report that the ground at the sight is very hard, but you’d think something that tall would weigh enough to make a substantial impression. Again, let’s use the quick and no doubt totally accurate JGordon to Bigfoot conversion, but this time let’s to height to weight. I’m about 150 pounds for 72 inches. That means that a slender Bigfoot, at 308 inches, would have to weigh about 642 pounds. This conversion is probably a little shakier than the foot size to height formula, but, still, I’m guessing a 26-foot tall creature would be pretty darn heavy.

Plus, the photos seem to indicate that the monster is flatfooted, and you wouldn’t want to be walking around without nice arch supports if you were that heavy. Yet these are bare footprints. The evidence against is adding up.

So we’re left with real big footprint-like things, and, unfortunately, not real Bigfoot print, like, things. Oh, words.

It’s kind of a let down, I know. But don’t loose hope—crazy crap is happening all the time, and Science Buzz is just waiting for it.

Your Comments, Thoughts, Questions, Ideas

Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Just keep hoping JGordon...I'm sure the truth is out there!

posted on Wed, 06/18/2008 - 10:04pm
Liza's picture
Liza says:

I want to believe...


posted on Thu, 06/19/2008 - 8:34pm

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