Spare the tests, spoil the rat.

She'll never know a hard day's work in her life: unless you're willing to help her.
She'll never know a hard day's work in her life: unless you're willing to help her.Courtesy PKMousie
Studies have shown that rats that are not subjected to cruel medical tests grow up to be wild, dirty rats. Without a healthy fear of God, so to speak, rats never learn appropriate boundaries, and stroll through life taking for granted the fact that they’ve never had eyeliner blown up their nostrils. For years, pharmaceutical companies and cosmetics developers have done their very best to make sure that rats grow up to be humble, responsible adult rodents.

However, there is a disturbing new trend towards zero-rat (zero animal, in fact) medical testing. Popular Science details a few of these frightening new methods. Episkin, for instance, is lab-grown human skin developed by L’Oréal, which can be used for testing cosmetics. “Can be used,” certainly, but “should”? Hardly. Why volunteer defenseless human skin for painful tests when there’s probably a perfectly good mousey in the next room, just waiting for a little discipline and structure to come into its life?

Another company is developing a “chip” that uses liver enzymes, and various types of cultured cells to test new medications for toxicity in the body. Again, we’re taking jobs away from rats here.

The article also mentions the idea of introducing human subjects earlier in the trial period of a new drug. Tragically removing many animal test subjects from the process, humans are given itty-bitty “microdoses” of a drug, which are then tracked through the body by means of radioactive, non-toxic tracer particles. The activity of the drug is observed and evaluated to see if further tests (on animals) are warranted. But why not just use animals in the first place? It sounds like something they’d enjoy.

The whole thing serves to reemphasize that we have be conscious of where our medicines and cosmetics are coming from. Don’t just assume that they’ve been tested on animals—insist on it. It’s better for us, and for them.

Your Comments, Thoughts, Questions, Ideas

Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

Are you out of your mind? I really hope that article was a joke, otherwise you are a disgusting excuse for a person.

posted on Sun, 08/10/2008 - 5:46pm
JGordon's picture
JGordon says:

Sorry, it's the second one: I'm a disgusting excuse for a person. Why would you ever think that I was joking?

posted on Mon, 08/11/2008 - 9:19am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

you are a horible person.... i mean seriousley, killing cute little mice just so u can hve your stupid cosmetics.......

posted on Thu, 11/06/2008 - 1:09pm
JGordon's picture
JGordon says:

Number 1: They're rats, not mice.

Number 2: They don't necessarily die.

Number 3: I'm pretty sure that the experience is good for them (character building-wise)

Number 4: I need those cosmetics.

Number 5: I hope you aren't wearing deodorant right now. Or lip products or hairspray or foundation or eye-liner. And I hope you didn't use shampoo this morning. Or soap or lotion or conditioner or toothpaste or perfume or cologne. Because then we might both feel pretty silly.

posted on Thu, 11/06/2008 - 1:58pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

there dirty and ugly i do not ever want one of them ever

posted on Thu, 11/06/2008 - 2:04pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

i put on all of them and i smell sooooooooo good who could not live without all that stuff. i meen thoughtpaste i could not live without.

posted on Thu, 11/06/2008 - 2:01pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

you know take it from a cancer survivor and i know those meds where tested on innocent rats and so forth but I tell you what next time why dont I test them on you!! then yoru family so you can all die misserable deathsfor just being a peace of crap human that is the cockroach of the earth! test on animals but humanly! Humans are the exspedible ones!

posted on Fri, 09/17/2010 - 12:26pm
JGordon's picture
JGordon says:

You make a fair point—the one about my family all dying, I mean. Several of them are already dead, but I see where you're going. Also, I see what you mean about me being a crap human and the cockroach of the Earth. I expect that will confuse other cockroaches, but otherwise it's all very sharp.

Nonetheless, I'm afraid I will continue to treat this relatively clear-cut and serious issue in a facetious manner. It's in my nature.

posted on Fri, 09/17/2010 - 5:08pm
carrol's picture
carrol says:

i know right. sometimes people like to keep their pets together.

posted on Sat, 09/18/2010 - 5:49pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:


posted on Sat, 09/18/2010 - 3:14pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

JGordon,I hope you made up the 'anonymous' replies; if those are real people, it's no longer funny but scary.

posted on Sun, 09/19/2010 - 7:56pm
JGordon's picture
JGordon says:

I was working on some anonymous replies, but they're still in the process of being tested; I grind up each draft, apply it to the mucous membrane of a rat's nose, and observe the effects. It takes a long time.

These, as it happens, are all genuine and tragic examples of what can happen when you don't animal-test comments for safety.

posted on Sun, 09/19/2010 - 10:16pm

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