The face of the enemy: Know it well.  They wait, biding their time, building up the strength of their numbers, and of their horrible, secret weapon of doom!
The face of the enemy: Know it well. They wait, biding their time, building up the strength of their numbers, and of their horrible, secret weapon of doom!Courtesy foxypar4

That’s sheep farts to you and me, and apparently it’s a major problem. There are over one billion sheep in the world. They spend their day, standing in the meadow, gamboling playfully, watching Sam, the big shaggy cartoon sheep dog, foil the ingenious but inevitably futile efforts of Ralph, the wolf who looks suspiciously like a coyote.

And eating. Grass is what sheep eat. Unfortunately, they can’t digest it. Instead, they have little tiny microbes in their stomachs (four stomachs per sheep) that break down the plant fiber for them.

Unfortunately, microbes are rude little creatures, emitting methane gas with every mouthful and nary an “excuse me” to be heard. The methane builds up inside the ovine until it escapes in the form of sheep farts. (And, seriously, if you ever have a chance to write an essay that can justifiably include the phrase “sheep farts,” then you should seize the opportunity and use the term just as often as you possibly can.)

Anyway, the methane (a.k.a. sheep farts) gets into the atmosphere where, some would have it, it will trap heat and warm the globe and eventually destroy civilization as we know it. This may or may not be a bad thing, but I personally would hate to see my home destroyed just because of sheep farts.

Fortunately some researchers in New Zealand have come to our rescue. These plucky kiwis are tackling the sheep fart menace head-on, trying to develop a vaccination that will improve the microbes’ table manners. An anxious world holds its breath – partly in anticipation of the coming breakthrough in sheep fart technology, but mostly in response to the sheep farts themselves.

Your Comments, Thoughts, Questions, Ideas

Gene's picture
Gene says:

In a related development, Japanese researchers are mixing cashew shell oil into cattle feed in an attempt to reduce bovine flatulence -- a.k.a. cow farts.

posted on Thu, 06/12/2008 - 10:18am
JGordon's picture
JGordon says:

Of course! It all makes so much sense. And to think of all the time and resources I've wasted on corking technology...

posted on Thu, 06/12/2008 - 10:27am
Gene's picture
Gene says:

New advances in cow fart research: Argentinian researchers are strapping plastic tanks to the back of cows and connecting said tanks to the cows' stomachs to capture the farts for study. Fascinating photo here.

posted on Fri, 07/11/2008 - 11:04am
Gene's picture
Gene says:

According to ABC News, Cow Farts Are Killing Us.

posted on Thu, 08/21/2008 - 10:06pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous says:

ew thats gross

posted on Fri, 08/22/2008 - 9:30am

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