Stories tagged jedi

Apr
02
2008

Vader smells like ashtrays and bug spray: I wouldn't feel safe either.
Vader smells like ashtrays and bug spray: I wouldn't feel safe either.Courtesy greeneyedzeke
There has been another Jedi battle in England.

First off, this isn’t science news so much as science-fiction news, but I am convinced that you will find it relevant, what with the Star wars: Where Science Meets Imagination exhibit on its way to the SMM.

Jedi Master Jonba Hehol—known to some as Barney Jones, hairdresser—of Holyhead, England, was in his backyard giving an interview for a documentary when the Sith lord himself, Darth Vader, vaulted over Jonba’s garden fence, and proceeded to battle Master Hehol, the founder of the first British Jedi Church.

Now, when I say “battle,” what I mean is “assault with a metal crutch.” Hehol’s Jedi powers, one assumes, are suited more for hairdressing, and, Master though he is, he was soon laid low by the crutch-wielding Vader. The dark Jedi—who was reportedly under the influence of alcohol—then proceeded to attack the camera crew.

“This wasn’t a joke,” claims the cowed Helol. “This was serious.”

Serious indeed. And just imagine how serious things would have been if Vader had thrown down with his lightsaber instead of a crutch. All sorts of stuff would have hit the fan then. Limbs and things.